Alpha-Inn, Tokyo: The World's only BDSM Hotel

In February 2015 I wrote an article called 'delicious dungeon furniture'. It is the all-time most popular post on this blog. Why remains a mystery. In its introduction I mentioned that one day I would set up my own chain of BDSM parlors, loosely based on the Alpha-Inn Fashion Hotel in Tokyo. Today it is time for a closer look.

Never Normal

Let's Be Careful Out There

Don't gamble away your once chance for happiness.

"Do you like oranges or are you just happy to see me?" Scene for The Sinner

Earlier this week I overheard some people talking.

"They thought he went missing but he was visiting his mistress. Now that he is retired, he does that every month as soon as he gets his pension. After a while he re-appears."

"You're kidding me, he used to be such a decent fellow, civil servant and so on, always the perfect gentleman."

"You know what, ever since he retired, he started wearing weird outfits, black latex and stuff. And you know what else?"

"Please stop, I really don't wanna hear it."

Femdom Fashion Crime - Ultimate Edition

Absolutely disgusting 

This image is so offensive I had to pixilate parts of it.

No animals were hurt conducting this crime, nor does it include leather. Doesn't mean it's not bad. On top of that, there is something else that worries me. Whose fault is it? Is it mistress', being the arbiter of all things or slaveboy for bringing shame on his mistress.

From one slave to another, the correct order to undress yourself in front of mistress is shoes, socks, upper body, lower body. [1] [2] Below a map of the do's and don'ts. It's that easy.

Smile? Check? Lifting him higher? Check. Quel horror below the waist. Never.

---

[1] Chastity devices not included, wherever applicable.

[2] No OWK, wrong again. Put a sock in it. To worship women means all women.

[3] Please forgive me for not spending more time to find a better [more horrible] illustration today. 

British Tax Payers - Black and White - Finally Pay Off Loan To Former Slave Owners

What's 200 years between friends?

No, the British didn't compensate their former slaves, it's owners were paid handsomely for loss of their property. And it was pretty expensive.

Beatrix, former queen of the Netherlands, in a golden carriage. What is conveniently left out from this Wikipedia image is a panel painted on the other side. Is called something like "Colonies paying tribute to the Dutch Virgin." The Virgin represents the Dutch Commonwealth.

Dutch has set himself a goal: to become the most boring person of 2020. In order to reach that goal, I read boring stuff. Nothing is duller than taxes, it's why I read the Tax Justice Network newsletter.

Lady Luck cannot hate me. I'm born in a rich country, male, white and university-educated plus other privileges I will never know exist for real. I hope you understand irony, because that's what this next line is all about. Somehow I cannot win [loose], not even when I try to be boring. I was so sad the other day after reading the Tax Justice Network newsletter.

Removing statues of politically-incorrect historical figures is the biggest mistake ever. The less future generations know about the atrocities of the past, the harder it is to make them understand what's wrong in today's society. Paint them pink and put them on display in a museum, explanation about why they were truly evil next to it. Whatever you do, don't hide the truth.

Rick and Morty Hate Femdom

"I thought the whole point of having a dog was to feel superior."
      - Lawnmower, Rick & Morty season one, episode two.

Plus looking down on a whole bunch of "other" people. 

Don't look so shy Rick, in under two minutes you'll be naked, wearing nipple clamps.

Additional reporting by our #NeverNormal department. 

Rick and Morty is a cartoon show that first aired in December 2013. The general formula consists of the juxtaposition of two conflicting scenarios: an extremely selfish, main character dragging their inferior along for interdimensional adventures, [1] intercut with domestic family drama [2]. What's not to relate?

Rickleclamps. Told you so.

When the program opens it freshman season with 11 episodes, Dutch pays attention. In the Spring of 2020 the cartoon show has finished it's fourth, bland, boring season and a major let-down.

From a business point of view it's unwise to introduce femdom during a pilot. Better wait for the next episode to make sure professional reviewers have heard about it. The second installment introduces Miss Pancake and her dreams to Rick 'n' Morty and the audience - Inception movie style.

In order to limit Google's evil indexing efforts, I'm not gonna add the above text to it's caption. It's a major nasty "fan site" I found the "additional information" about Miss Pancakes on. The rot goes much deeper than anyone realizes.

Black Friday

Real [sic] men know goddesses come in all shapes, sizes and colours. Even better, there's one waiting for each and everyone of us. Kind of. We're waiting for them. Commerce understands, so why don't femdom proprietors do?

You make me smile. Friends for life? (Mistress Her & Mistress Kara. Image: Mistress Tangent)

Before we continue, this post is written by a guy. He is male, Caucasian and born around the time the first man (men?) landed on the moon. Also with several three piece suits in my wardrobe. Hello everyone, it's me, Dutch. Don't say I didn't warn you.

Black Friday is the fourth Friday of November and is regarded as the beginning of America's Christmas shopping season. Black Friday has routinely been the busiest shopping day of the year in the United States for most of the century.

What Wouldn't You Do With 44 Billion Dutch?

Thanks for nothing Mr. Musk

Dutch' birthday bash in full swing. Hardcore. If only. (image: Divine Bitches)

Hardcore hangover. What else can I say? My birthday bash was beautiful. Until my alarm went of the next morning. Without 44 billion in the bank. At least this time I didn't wake up with a pillow in my arms instead of her. So not complaining if it was her instead. Empty arms hurt much more than an empty bank account. Some guys have all the luck.

'Born To Make you Crawl' - Mistress Roberta

From the 'what a woman'-department

What if crawling comes naturally - AKA the easy part?

Hand in glove? The wonderful mistress Roberta on a visit to The English Mansion.

The other day I read an article about a woman, newly available and looking for love. In her forties, which is good, she rattled of the usual list. Tall, educated [whatever that means], stable, mature, good job and  - hold your horses -  a full head of hair. Women and sexism, whenever the two of them meet, its love child is ugly, no exceptions.

Consent Is Never Annoying

Consent is a moment in time, one that is fleeting at best. Saying no is forever. [3] 

Consensual non-consensual is real because we choose so. Non-consensual never is. Nor is it a choice.

Powerful image from the Burning Man festival: two grown-ups with their backs to each other, while their inner child connect. Sadly, today is about the opposite.

Welcome to Dutch' average Saturday morning, reading the papers. War to the left. Election fraud to the right. Stuff happening in Timbuktu staring right back at you. When is it not? Something going on at the Hogwarts School of Magic. Different realm. Next up a story about our kids doomed before they reach the age of 11. Finally there's the latest invention to save mankind. Why would we? Don't ask. And yes, it's going to be expensive, courtesy of grateful tax-payers. And no that's not the sort of non-consensual consensual I'm writing about. Whatever the news, I no longer care.

Das Zuchthaus I: Voluntary Imprisonment

Up to a point, just wait till the door slams shut

[Previously on Das Zuchthaus...]

Frau Aufseherin presiding over das Zuchthaus

For some reason I'm into history all of a sudden. Not mocking you but my favourite genre on Netflix is documentaries. If you wanna sum up the history of the world in 11 words characters, it goes something like this. Dinosaurs die, long antebellum after which Google - our new overlord - rises.

As almighty overlords come, Google is pretty evil. Why else would it censor alternative forms of happiness. Because Googlecorp stubbornly refuses to understand that happiness comes in unexpected ways you say? Hmmm.

[Leather] Goddesses Update

Less leather, more female deity!

Mistress Belladonna Knight (image: black mistresses.com)

On the third day of Christmas (to be invented shortly) women start returning their unwanted gifts while men wait for the battery packs of their newly acquired power tools to be fully charged.

Quite a few readers were upset by the suggestive click-bait that was my article on the Leather Goddesses of Phobos on Christmas Eve. Don't blame me, blame the 1980s. Or if you think those days were cool, blame the alphabet. Just remember: it wasn't me. As for the person who asked me where Phobos is, seriously? Read the fine print and get your priorities straight.

Child Goddesses of Nepal

"goddesses inside the temples but mere objects outside"

Writing about child goddesses as this year's post about modern day slavery is an unusual choice, I agree. It's not exactly slavery but these very young girls aren't free either.

Caretakers, tantric priests, and other helpers cocoon the royal Kumari of Kathmandu. (Image: National Geographic)

Last year I wrote about how queen Elisabeth made a former New Zealand sex worker a dame in her birthday honours. That must have made it even harder for her majesty to deal with the fact that her second son, prince Andrew, partied with convicted pedophile Jeffrey Epstein. British tabloid the Daily Mail has published footage of the Duke of York in Epstein's Manhattan mansion in 2010. When you see how young some of these girls are, you know just how wrong it is.

The 2017 Christmassy 'n' Femdommy Movies List

A list of 11 of the best Christmas movies with a strong femdom theme. But be warned, the list is as varied as femdom is. Not that I shy away from clichés. It's Christmas after all, the only season where the festive colours turn from black and red to green and red. But if you don't like my selection, please feel free to send me your own femdom homevideo....

Black, Red, & Green: femdom X-Mas homemovie.
Catwoman and the enslaved crusader.
(Image: Lady Fyre/Fetish Island)

As part of last year's Christmas treat, I rated female Disney villains for their kink pedigree. That didn't get many of you excited, perhaps too highbrow for some? I don't know, but I am always willing to sink to the lowest common denominator, so here are the 11 Christmas movies, most likely to appeal to those, interested in femdom, the official 2017 very Christmassy 'n' Femdommy Movies (CFM) list.

Note: In case I get it wrong [again], just attribute it to my penchant for public humiliation. It's something of an involuntarily twitch. I guess.

Latex - the Finest in Femine Fashion

No you pervert, this tree is not being milked, it's a rubber tree being tapped for latex. Vegan, yes. Environmental friendly latex wardrobe? That's not today's topic.

As the world's 11th most rebellious slave it's my solemn duty to show the world the benefits of latex. Why? Because it makes you feel like a superwoman. It's also the kind of behavior mistress expects of me. To make the Dark Side a happier, brighter and more consensual evil place.

Rule number one - don't worry it's also the only rule - latex looks good on everyone. No need to go on a diet before you slip into something more breathtaking.

**

Cunk on Femdom Part Three - the Dark Ages

Black and white image of the Dark Ages. The rainbow was yet to be invented. Horses too.

Episode THREE: Tools of the trade, AKA advances in medieval torture

by Philomena Cunk

Some say Cleopatra had it easy. Probably because her people worshipped the sun. Who doesn't smile when the sun shines? Sadly, time progresses like only time can. According to official lore the middle ages were pretty dark, even darker than the dark ages that happened at the same time. Same place also. Then Goofy Guty - aka Herr Gutenberg invented the printing press and all hell broke loose. Men and women were officially no longer equal. Not that it was written in stone. Much worse, the revised gospel soon spread across the old continent. Because she was created out of his rib. One, two, three and counting. Nope, all 11 still there.

"May I?"
"Yep all 11 accounted for."
"Love you too."
One Woman, one Guy. Match made in heaven.

One can only wonder why men who can only count up to ten suddenly stop eating their T-bone steak when a pretty girl walks by. How's that for unequal? Anyway, that day it started raining. Still not sure it has stopped. And Christianity is not the only religion that places men on a pedestal, they all do it. Which is one more reason why I'll never visit Club Pedestal.

Air Neocorona

[air as in airtist]

Mile high club femdom style. [Image: Neocorona]

After Castlevania season three popped up on my BDSM radar, I frowned. Rule 34 inevitably scares me. After which I did a little online research. My blog's readers deserve the best. Clearly Google is a man because the search engine gets it wrong more often than not.

Of Circles And Squares

Everybody knows circles are by definition perfect

Explaining the true nature of beauty or happiness is impossible. Don't read on.

Pretty much self-explanatory. I'll leave it at that.

Circles and squares represent the arch-type of what it means to be human, once you get rid of life's bloatware. Two geometrical figures sum up the essence of female and male. Lean in, look closer and observe. Circles and squares are highly similar, yet oh so different. When in doubt, emphasize what connects them. Not convinced? Grab a random stranger and ask. As soon as Mr. Square catches his breath, he can't stop talking about the overwhelming similarities between both forms. No surprise there, a man's life revolves around certain Wonderful Girls, Magical Creatures and their beautiful, rounded corners. [1] Just not because of that.

Chillax Baby Slave

Slave Baby anyone?

In the end, what man can continue to serve a woman he doesn't love?

Life is full of nostalgia. Oops wrong image.

A couple of British pounds and an old Oyster card [OV chipkaart] are lingering in my desk drawer for years now. So I give 'm to a friend, planning a trip to London to watch football in a couple of weeks. Makes sense, doesn't it? Also brings back memories. It happens. Whatever, there is a time and place for everything, including emotions and nostalgia. Shelve 'm. Definitely not now. I'm so cool.

Google & Me: La Fin d'Amour

"Is dit de laatste ronde?'

'Sans' prior warning Google forces readers of adult blogs to submit proof of age before granting access. Not because Google cares, it just wants to make more money.

Last Valentine's Eve - yes that's an actual phrase now that I've invented it - we discussed Squid Game -  femdom style. Big plans for the next Valentine despite being so busy I haven't lived dangerously at all this year so far.

Upside Down House For Sale

About that 11th item to always tell your real estate agent about 

Remember Stranger Things? Clearly the Upside Down comes in many flavours. Classy 'n' pervy? Welcome to Sex Oasis 2.0

Sometimes there's no downside at all. Obviously.

Don't care about realtor confessions one to 10. What matters is the final one. Number 11 on the list. Ha ha ha. Does the property come with a 'naughty' 50 Shades kind of sex dungeon? [1]

Despite the fact I'm living on the 11th floor of the Elfland building somewhere in Dutcherdam (xxx), the answer is a resounding 'yes Ma'am.' What else can I say?