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| Black, Red, & Green: femdom X-Mas homemovie. Catwoman and the enslaved crusader. (Image: Lady Fyre/Fetish Island) |
As part of last year's Christmas treat, I rated female Disney villains for their kink pedigree. That didn't get many of you excited, perhaps too highbrow for some? I don't know, but I am always willing to sink to the lowest common denominator, so here are the 11 Christmas movies, most likely to appeal to those, interested in femdom, the official 2017 very Christmassy 'n' Femdommy Movies (CFM) list.
Note: In case I get it wrong [again], just attribute it to my penchant for public humiliation. It's something of an involuntarily twitch. I guess.
1. Mrs. Doubtfire (1993)
Of course it is a terrible movie - one the Brits seem to be rather fond of - but that is not the point. When it comes to femdom-approved Christmas kink movies, what better story than that of a man dressed up as woman, taking care of what is closest to her heart. Okay, they are his kids too and the measure of true love is the fact that it cannot be measured. IMDB
2. Die Hard (1993)
Even though Die Hard is the greatest Christmas movie EVER, when it comes to best CFM, macho Bruce Willis is no match for feminine Robin Williams. Anyway you cannot appreciate the true meaning of femdom Christmas until you've walked barefoot on broken glass. Kneeling on rice is for yippee-ki-yay, "...". Well, you know what I mean suckers. IMDB
3. Miracle on 34th Street (1947)
Seasoned readers are aware of my deep loathing of those who disrespect pro-dommes. Now translate femdom into Christmas. Kris Kringle, the spitting image of Santa Claus, works as a last minute Santa replacement in a department store. Not only does he proclaim to be the real Santa - he actually is! He also advises customer to look for presents at other stores if they cannot find it at Macy's
"Dude that has nothing to do with kink, let alone pro-dommes." Beware the uninitiated. Lesson one: because you "play" the part, doesn't mean you're not the real deal. Secondly, kink is al about connection. Some of the most highly praised pro-dommes in the world will advise you to see another mistress, if they feel the two of you have little in common kink-wise. How's that for an ever-lasting Christmas gift? IMDB
4. The Shop Around the Corner (1940)
This one is actually quite sad. A clerk and a newly hired shop girl work in a store. Neither one cares much for the other, after all they both bear a torch for their pen pals, whom they've never met. Of course the two of them are each other's pen pals - hey, it's still Christmas. Now for the CFM translation: two people in love with each other, don't talk about their innermost feelings. I actually wrote about it in "the secret ingredient." You've only got one life, so make the best of it. IMDB
5. Trading Places (1983)
Two wealthy, morally bankrupt, brothers throw a Wall Street banker and a poor hustler under the bus by making a one-dollar bet over the whole nature vs. nurture debate. Of course their victims figure it out just in time to have their sweet revenge.
It reminded me of that ubiquitous class of "findoms." You know the kind of women interested in making a quick buck, not the lifestyle. The kind only interested in "effortless" monetary gain and willing to ruin the life of random strangers for that quick buck. IMDB
6. Babes in Toyland (1934)
Everybody loves Laurel and Hardy. If you don't, you're either a fembot or out of this world. What the movie is all about doesn't really matter. The message [my X-mas interpretation] is: "there is nothing wrong with toys when it comes to femdom" Forever smiling about that title though. IMDB
7. Joyeux Noël (2005)
The Great War is one of many, sad highlights in a never-ending series of miserable moments that make up a large part of human history. A few months after the outbreak of World War One, both sides were firmly entrenched for the next four years. Soldiers on either side were like laser-focussed on killing the "enemy." Christmas 1914 - the Great War's first Christmas, a spontaneous, unofficial truce erupted, that allowed both sides to connect to the "enemy" and their shared humanity - for a few hours. Their superiors - shielded from the inconvenience of actually getting killed - made sure this kind of "monstrosity" wouldn't show it's ugly head again.
The femdom-link here is twofold. First there are the kink-haters, those who cannot accept there is much more that connects people despite their various orientations, than what divides them even if they are mistress and slave.
The same can be said for kinksters, boasting the superiority of their personal preferences. Ever stumbled upon this: "We don't do vanilla anymore..."
Some take it a step further and swap disdain for superiority: "there is no deeper love than the one between..." Poor, lost souls. All love is equal. That's lesson number two. Besides, BDSM lives by the grace of mainstream acceptance of alternative lifestyles. Proclaiming the superiority of your choices is perhaps the most ignorant and selfish thing you can do.
Back to the horrors of the early twentieth century. Ask yourself, what were these men thinking, in those few peaceful hours of December 1914? "Who is more right?" "What are we fighting for?" If you're clueless, may I recommend the final episode of Blackadder. It's bleak. Be warned. IMDB
8. Tokyo Godfathers (2003)
Oops, the ghost of Christmas future must be getting the better of me, but be honest, Christmas in Tokyo, who hasn't dreamt of it? Oops again, guess it's just me then.
One thing I've learned in my five years of blogging, is that "da searchz" almost inevitable turns desperate sooner or later. Looking for that elusive one [why do you think my call-sign starts with 11?], seems to be the premier obsession of 99 percent of femdom-oriented kinksters. And yes that holds true for both sexes.
What if people relaxed a bit more, be [accept] who they are and let Lady Luck work her magic? You cannot force what's not there. Why not be the best who you can. Accept that for things in life to work out - usually in a very different way from what you want - we all need a little luck.
Just like the OWK [more on that in 2018] the word "Godfathers" is rather limited. Three homeless friends: a young girl, a transvestite, and a middle-aged bum, one day find a baby. The CFM parallels are so rich, it almost makes one cringe. In life, everybody wears a mask, some willingly, others have it thrust upon them. One can be an "alpha male" by day and a slave by night. Other side of the coin is where one is a protective mother on one side and a demanding dominatrix on the other.
Then there is the idea of the make-shift family. Even for me it is not always easy to understand, but some prefer polyarmory, be it polyandry or polygamy. Yet that is what the godfather makeshift family represents.
Travelling through the city, looking for the baby's parent, the group copes with their personal reactions to the situation. It's a feeling not uncommon to most of us as we experience more of, and grow into our unique kink identity. IMDB
9 The Nutcracker (1993)
Because sometimes it's hard to resist. IMDB
10. Batman Returns (1992)
Bruce Wayne's alter ego is perhaps the most tortured soul in the supervillain sphere. After a while all that conflicted stuff gets boring. On top of that he is in love with catwoman and the two of them love dressing up. That's why the two of them are in the list. Yes, a slave dressing up (other than collars and cuffs) is a bit unusual, but Catwoman's outfit certainly fits the desires of many males. On top of that Gotham is saturated in Christmas.
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| Go girl! |
On a related note: don't you just think the character of Tabitha Galavan in the TV show Gotham is awesome? Her weapon of choice is a whip and she revels in using it. And she is a villain on top of that. Not all TV is bad.
11. All I Want for Christmas (1991)
I didn't even know there was a movie with that title. Despite that, you know I just had to do that! I have absolutely no clue how to relate this to femdom - and by now am in a hurry to wrap it up - so here it goes: not everything in life is about femdom. Hmmm, perhaps that's why it is number 11 on this list. LOL. IMDB
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Before I unleash my annual Christmas message upon you all: what are you still doing here? Go and be with your loved ones. Even I wrote this in advance and am with my loved ones right now!
Like always, my message is the same. Love! Love harder! Fight! Fight harder! For Love! And remember love usually comes by stealth. Merry Christmas.
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