Nuts? Vanilla Journalist Tries On Chastity Device

One daring Vice reporter tries on a chastity device for three days. He doesn't like it. Nor does his boyfriend. He deserves some respect for trying to understand, rather than vent yet another opinion. 

Package for the package

The world is fascinated by BDSM. Some of the more adventurous types - or is it bored home-makers? - read Fifty Shades. The more daring experiment. Spoiler alert: it hurts, as intended. One Vice writer took the concept of investigative journalism to new heights. Not being into BDSM, he wore a chastity device for three days. To be honest that is pretty cool.

He loved the kinky secret, he was hiding under his pants. That is about the only thing he enjoyed about his three days locked in the device.. The author did not like being aroused, without being able to have sex. His description: a black hole of desire. No surprises there. Going to the bathroom was a bit harder as well. Who would have guessed?

A few days later his boyfriend comes over. Finding out about the experiment, he was disgusted. More interestingly, he said:

"You're not any fun without your dick anyway."

 That was after the author wondered how:

"Some guys wear these things for up to ten days. That is, pun intended, nuts."

Sarcasm Is Free: Nine Commandments for Dominant Women

Rules solve every problem there is. If you believe that, you should go into politics. Femdom is about two people who work out what femdom means to the both of them. Any mistress-slave relationship is built upon the same rules that all relationships are. There are no special femdom-only rules. It's been a while since I've seen rules this silly. Clearly someone's desires got the better of him. Read them and enjoy.

"The rule book didn't work for us, so we put it to alternative use.

In today's episode of how our desires get the better of us, a post I found on Tumblr. Apparently there are 9 commandments for dominant women. Yes that made me smile too. But why stop at 9? We all know that rule number 10 orders dominant women to sleep in leather pyjama's. How else to spot a dominant woman while she is asleep. And no it is not about me trying to sneak in my preference for women in sexy, hot, tight leather outfits. According to the addendum to the 9 rules, I am not allowed to enjoy that. The rules are never wrong.

Men Love Gifs Too. Funny Ones

It's official: women love porn gifs. Time for some light entertainment. Japan is once again the inspiration for today's selection. Other than that I enjoy 'm there is no rationale behind it.

Kid gloves for the over 18s.

A few days ago I read a story about husband who used the parental control on his internet to have sex with his wife. Rather than blocking porn sites, he used the software to block whatever websites she surfed on her tablet before she went to sleep. Talking about a disfunctional relationship.

Maid's Hand Cut Off - Modern Day Slavery At Its Worst

Once a year on December 02 - International Day for the Abolition of Slavery - I write about real world slavery. Of course it exists 385 days a year, but it is not the main topic of my blog. Neither is travelling. The story of an Indian maid in Saudi Arabia, whose hand was cut of by her employer trying to flee is what prompted me.

The insanity of it all.
Leaving it all behind to provide for your loved ones and then this.

Saudi Enigmia
For some reason, Saudi Arabia is high on my travel bucket list. As a Christian, it is not about the pilgrimage to Mecca. That would be totally disrepectful. The country is an mystery. The only time ever, they allowed foreigners into the country, was in 2014. However that year I travelled to perhaps the biggest shithole in the world, before it became like really unsafe. I didn't get blown-up and had a blast. If you think there is no bigger adrenaline rush than serving your mistress, perhaps you should come on a trip with me.

Rebellious Bratty Slaves Are Underappreciated

In all walks of life a little rebellious streak is very much appreciated. But not in femdom. That doesn't make sense. Bratty subs add value to the scene as long as they understand give and take and the nature of power exchange.

Who needs to lay on the floor when you can sit up and still feel her boot?
Good thing I like boots too. (Image: Boots Yakata: KKK-18)

We are all attracted to kink for different reasons. The 247 crowd is the most vocal in expressing their preferences, something that makes it easy to forget it is not how it works for everyone. Google "femdom" and their blogs will show up first. Reading them as part of an introduction to the mistress/slave dynamic, often leaves outsiders and interested parties with a narrow, warped view of what kink can be.

The Hidden Meaning Behind My Naughty Boy Avatar

Yesterday I discovered somebody on Tumblr copied my avatar. No problem but it makes little sense. Despite its mundane look, it has a lot of hidden meaning. Please keep the avatar, but you might want to replace my name with yours. 

That can't be me. After all I am the perfect slave.
If that's true, probably also the most boring one ever.

That image is my first 11dutch avatar. It is highly symbolic. The two stick figures literally represent two people. No surprise the one on the right is me. Mistress is on the left, that is intentional as well, as in geographical locations. The stick figures have two different colours, again for a reason. I assume, I don't have to explain why the man is on his knees as the woman holds his leash. I admit the leash is silly, I wasn't going anyway. But hey that's kink. It doesn't have to make sense 247.

Fluorescent Louboutins: Yellow Is The New Red

Buy mistress a pair of fluorescent high heels for the holiday season and you can no longer claim you didn't see it coming or don't know what hit you.

Designed for mind games. Anticipation increases impact. (image: Miami Mean Girls)

October is the start of the Christmas shopping season - yes some people really need three months for that. Creepy, Christmas Creep or just plain over the top? Not according to US retailer Walmart. They think you should start in August.

Everybody knows chocolate, not diamonds, is a girl's best friend. On top of that some women pick shoes over diamonds any day. Being a diamond is hard.

A good slave is like a soldier, always on guard, especially when it comes to prezzies. If you want to buy mistress something special and her play space [1] already holds all the Christian Louboutins ever made, how about some fluorescent high heels? Don't worry, I don't get it either, but you simply can't go wrong with shoes. Be careful with the pants in the image though, those are considered high risk.

Houston, we have lift-off. Look close. (image: Miami Mean Girls)

Notes:
[1] Don't be fooled. Play space is mistress' pet name for the most important room in the house, the Imelda Marcos shoe room.

Trust: The Secret Ingredient In All Relationships

If a husband and wife share an interest in femdom, but never talk about it during many decades of marriage, what's the point?

I'm lovin' it. But how do I tell thee, my love?

Something's missing

Is it love when there is physical intimacy but not mental intimacy? Two people loving each other, yet living their separate lives, without knowing they want the same thing. Two people who are even more compatible than they think, somehow mess it up. Guess it means if you love her but find it hard to talk to her, try harder. Trust or loose.

We can all list the things we do for love. Swap love for femdom and ask yourself, is the sub really sacrificing his happiness to please his mistress? I’ve often wondered whether BDSM isn’t simply love with a bit of pain and role play added to it. Bringing it up can be hard. If you love someone, you want them to spare the pain of something – you  assume – will disgust them.

Personally I don’t tell the ones I loves – family, friends – I am into kink. I do not want to burden them with something they most likely cannot understand. They love me and I love them. But what if you fall in love with someone and worry that your kinky desires will drive them away. Is it wrong to bottle up your feeling and be with the one you love?

Trust, not numbers, is what matters

Researching the Domme Deficit I ran into a sad story Labcoat Lingerie reprinted from Edukink. In “One of the 19” Fuzz writes about her first femdom experience in secondary school, long before she knew what  it was – just like me. It made her wonder why male subs outnumber female dommes 20 to 1. According to Bitchy Jones the other 19 female dommes are “missing”. That only works if you assume the number of female dommes equals the supply of available subs. I wish that were true. What if for every 20 women who love the romantic movie “The Notebook”, only one man does so. Are 19 missing or did they never exist in the first place? There are any number of reasons why someone doesn’t share her kink feelings with the man she loves. Sometimes a fantasy should remain just that. Perhaps she wasn’t ready. Maybe their relationship lacked trust.

A man who came to an introductory BDSM event, for his first time, at quite an advanced age.

“What kept you away so long?” they asked him.

“Well,” he said, “I always knew I was kinky, but I was married for a long time and I figured my wife wouldn’t be into it. Not long ago, though, my wife passed away …

… and then I read her diary.”

---

Notes

Whatever the reason she didn't share her feelings, it is a sad story. It leaves the question if you should read her diary after she passes away when she didn't confide in you when she was your wife.

---

Jian Ghomeshi Pleads Not Guilty

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A Smiling Domme Means More Than Just Happiness

Like all men, I am a sucker for beautiful women. What separates mere Barbies from true Beauties is what is hidden underneath. Who is she? Personality and character can't be observed from the outside, yet guide men into whom they loose their heart to. Her smile is the only visible clue of the kind of woman she is. Like gravity on steroids, it enslaves us. A force no man can resist. Or wants to.

Remember the plan? Love may hurt but kink is fun for two.

Nothing makes me happier than a happy domme. Of course I know every twue slave says so, but I mean something different. I am talking about a happy domme, as in a dominant woman smiling while dominating her property. To me that is the very best life has to offer.

Medieval Torture Devices: One Way to Flog an Average TV Show

The opening credits for The Bastard Executioner feature a number of medieval torture instruments, dripping in blood.  Gore in an attempt to hype a mediocre show. A reminder of play vs the real world and a caution that psychopaths are part of the BDSM community.

1. Not exactly Game of Thrones

One time I ended up in one of the darker corners of Fetlife: something about the deepest fantasies of sadists. It was pretty ugly and non-consensual. I remember one woman describing how she dreamt of torturing a man, chopping of his limbs and other body parts before finally killing him. Some commenters applauded her for the intensity of her deepest desires.

Never Normal: Gotham's Sadistic Bad Girl

Fifty Shades is no more than a look in the world of weirdo's for bored suburbians. And it works brilliantly. The new TV season has kicked of in full and just like last year scriptwriters and directors use and abuse BDSM - or what they think it stands for - to paint a portrait of the depraved villains. 

Blondes are more boring. The women with whips have arrived.

Making sure the audience knows who the bad guys are.

I tried to give a positive spin to femdom on television but the forces of evil are so overwhelming, I had to give up. So I came up with the hashtag #NeverNormal. Yes it works both ways, something the voyeurs overlook.

Serena Williams: How Commerce Sustains Discrimination

Hard work and real dominance are underappreciated.  Stereotypes are overrated. What can BDSM learn from the ordeal of one of the world's best athletes ever?

Real world dominance only comes in one flavour: Hard work.

Some dommes drooled over Furiosa in the latest Mad Max movie. Well, get a load of this: Serena Williams. This woman impresses men the right way: feminine, accomplished, forceful and (not sorry to say) sexy! Who wants a sniper rifle, when all you need is a tennis racket and determination? BTW, I love her smile. Don't you?

Once I Dreamt of Building Mistress a Throne

Long ago I decided that one day I was going to build mistress her very own throne, all by myself. When I saw the perfect throne, I realized, I had never given up on that idea. Learn from me. Don't dream big, it complicates everything.

My imagination running wild, or do the two columns look like 1's. Coincidence?
(Image: Guardian by Naomi VanDoren)

Most of the time I come up with innovative, useful and creative ideas. Only when it comes to kink, my otherwise brilliant plans are deemed to fail. Don't know why. But even if you fail, better do it big and in style.

Why walk? Croquet, the Nigella Lawson Way: In a Sedan

Ever been to the Other Work Kingdom, Nigella? I'm sure you'd love it.

Life is full of irony. When Piggate broke, I felt the urge to demand David Cameron redefined "extreme porn." Clearly he and other members of Britain's establishment had a good time at uni. So did I.

The Guardian decided to add a twist of its own, publishing images of the young and wealthy partying as Oxford students in the 1980s. Other than prime minister David Cameron luminaries include actor Hugh Grant and TV chef Nigella Lawson. Just look at the image and tell me its not femdom-related. Art imitates life. So does femdom. I know of similar images from the OWK and at least one Sardax drawing. Anything to confess Miss Lawson?

Dommes In Innocent-Looking Polka Dot Dresses

Does the uniform matter when it comes to power exchange? If so, what uniform to choose? Some consider the polka dot dress the ultimate in femine attire, but doesn't that make it a uniform at the same time. A bit of light-hearted writing today and for the time being a little less grumpy.

A twist on a classic theme: red bottom meets green dress

Sometimes kink is like really odd. A Tumblr user photo-shopped a sign outside a church. It now reads: "Pleated Skirt Sunday. Ladies wear a nice pleated skirt in church as part of your proper feminine attire for church."

Sub Surplus: Why "It's Raining Men" Is Not A Good Thing

Domme Deficit or Sub Surplus: Men raining down from the heavens above is always a bad thing. Not because we are trouble. It messes with your mind and replaces "needs" with "wants" and "can have's".

You know? In the end most men would love to rain down on women.
That is, if they end up with a fun girl, Don't act surprised. You knew all along. We love you.

Remember that 1980s song: "It's Raining Men?" Sounds like a good thing if you are a woman, now doesn't it? Well, sometimes it ain't. The sub surplus is the worst thing that ever happened to dominant women. Spoilt for choice - or so it seems initially - some get greedy. Rather than thinking about what they really want, they ask for all they can have, whether or not they really like it. You know, because "Yes, we can." Don't worry, they'll regret it later. And their subs as wel.

Grace Jones: "I'll Never Write My Memoirs"

“Hiding, secrets, and not being able to be yourself is one of the worst things ever for a person. It gives you low self-esteem. You never get to reach that peak in your life. You should always be able to be yourself, and be proud of yourself.”

Bad design I know, two images so close together, but this portrait from The New York Times is just amazing.

Never? Guess what? They were published today.
Four months ago, on her birthday, I argued Grace Jones is the original femdom icon. By then the world was awaiting her memoirs. For a long time Grace Jones maintained she would never write them, but she changed her mind. Haven't read them yet and it probably is gonna take some time before I do but here are some reviews.

Thank You For Not Caring: Any Hint At Child Porn Is Wrong

Anything between adults has to be consensual. Whatever happens with kids is by definition non-consensual. A while ago I saw a video of a woman trampling a highly realistic looking doll resembling a five year old. To me that is child porn in disguise. The admins disagreed. I forgot their argument, but it probably ran among the lines of "It is just a doll." "I don't see the problem." "No one got harmed." They are wrong. It doesn't work like that and worse, it aids in the continued suffering of children.

It reminded me of the first time I reported child porn to Tumblr, back in March  2013. For some reason I never posted the draft, but here it is.

The beginning of something very consensual and very adult. It includes suffering, submission and being hers, which given the first two items on the list, is harder than you think. No matter how much you love her.

Power of Love: If You Love Her, Trust Your Gut

Why I'll never visit Club Pedestal. Taking a trip down memory lane. Remembering what matters. And whom you should pledge your allegiance to.

Years ago I had a girlfriend, who was battling a serious disease. One day she sprayed her ankle or similar, I can’t remember. The first night after the incident, I made her promise to wake me up and help her to the bathroom, just in case.

Why not? Whatever makes you smile. As long as you are together. On second thought: Lucky guy.

When I woke up the next morning, she told me, every time she turned over, I woke up and sat up straight. I briefly glanced at her and fell asleep. Apparently I also helped her to the bathroom that night, twice. Can’t remember a thing, but it took me two more nights to get back to my usual routine. Or so I was told.

Puppet On a String: Love Turns Men Into Slaves

I've been asking myself what the difference is between the things we (men) do for love and those we do because we "serve." Whatever that is.

One night, I came home and literally tripped over the couch.

"I rearranged the furniture, but I don't think it's gonna work"

Really, what gave it away? Of course the apartment was mine, not hers.

Silly girl, why do you even have to ask.

Facesitting For Birthday Boys

If it's fun and quirky, it's definitely me. A few weeks back I posted a GIF I christened "Facesitting For Advanced Practitioners." This one doesn't have the bouncing factor, but is just as good. Look at her eyes before she takes the plunge. What a way to start your (her/his) birthday. I assume it's someone's birthday at least, lol. So much fun. Just be careful I don't mistake you for some burglar and smack you. Now that would spoil the fun, wouldn't it?

Not sure he appreciates it, but she loves it. Isn't that what matters?

Vivere Autem Est Pati - To Live Is To Suffer

Femdom, BDSM or whatever is about love. Yes, quirky, corrupt and messed up. Isn't that what love is sometimes? Against the odds, when everybody says it's impossible. If you don't get that, jump of the bloody cliff. If you are still alive look at this. I wish I had written such beautiful letters.

If you love someone, you'll find a way. Outside of time, space and language.

Secondary School: My First Sadistic Girlfriend

Little Did I know...

At age seven all boys share the same opinion about fire trucks and girls. Fire trucks are aaawesome. Girls are boooooring. Fast forward ten years and fire trucks are still cool, you know like really cool. Girls meanwhile have been promoted to something so much more than interesting than fire trucks. No guy ever saw that coming when he was seven years old. I certainly didn't.

No 17 year old boy has ever combined these two in his mind (Image: Crushing Mania)

Half a Boy, Half A Man
At age 17 boys are beginning to learn about sex. Girls have captured their imagination and the single best place to meet those amazing creatures that love the colour pink - a fact still very much unexplained, even after all those years - is secondary school. I know, kind of surprising, isn't it?

Apart from falling in love, discovering the magic that is girls, is perhaps the best thing in any man's life. It certainly is for me. Most of us had our first kiss a few years before. With hindsight, kissing, not sex, is the most intimate act between two people, but chronologically kissing comes before sex.

Lawyer Myles Jackman fights Britain's Extreme Porn Laws

“Pornography is the canary in the coal mine of free speech.”

The Guardian has an excellent story on lawyer Myles Jackman who has made it his mission to fight Britain's "extreme porn" laws. Recommended reading.

Mr. Jackman works mostly pro bono and could use your support. Read more at Support Myles Jackman creating social change. You can also visit his website for more information: MylesJackman.com

This image has nothing to do with extreme porn. The leash is her way of making sure the man she loves doesn't get lost.

Disconnect: Sadism is not BDSM

To me kink is about fun, something impossible to explain to vanilla people. In the end femdom has to be rewarding for both the dominant partner and the submissive one. For me, just like most men, visual clues work best. That's probably why I like Tumblr. There are a few exceptions.

Him, naked and collared make this image "extreme" to vanilla people.

I love it. The intensity, his eyes, her grip (which he loves). Good things do happen.

11 Things Dominant Women Always Get Wrong

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Robber Humiliated By Woman Martial Arts Fighter

Justice and Public Humiliation - As Real As It Gets.

Women in Brazil are quite something different. A while ago there was a prison escape when women showed up at the front gate and told the guards they wanted to "party". Now a guy who tried to rob a woman on the streets of Acailandia, Brazil, got more than he bargained for. His intended victim turned out to be a skilled mixed martial arts fighter.

"Go Ahead - Make My Day"

Forest McMullin Photography: Vanilla by Day, Kink by Night

My love for kink is perhaps best described as joyful curiosity, with a few exceptions. Some of my writing is not happy and inquisitive but rather cross. It must be my rant fetish when it comes to dishonesty and pretend.

Mistress Natsukiss in Torture Play 1. Another paradox: a domme so sadistic, I just want to run. At the same time her sadism is fascinating and exciting, inescapable like a deer caught in her headlights.

Miss Piggy & Kermit: The End of a FL Love Affair

Of course they had to do a reboot of the Muppet Show and get it wrong. If there is one thing I don't like about women, it is being bland. According to The Guardian they have replaced Miss Piggy with a younger, thinner and blander model, called Denise. That ain't gonna work out.

A few images from Emilio Rangel's "La Puta de Babilonia" (Image: Emilio Rangel)

Save the WorldPrint Prosthetic Arms Not Chastity Devices

Too much BDSM bullshit gets you cranky. Lately I have been reading so many lies, mostly hiding under the cloak of the One Twue Way, it got me grumpy. Take a look at what is most popular on the blog and you'll get the same feeling. Minion Porn, please enjoy - an entry I wrote entirely in jest - but it baffles me, people are really searching for that stuff. Then there are all those hits about what happened to Coral Korrupt. Kind of morbid isn't it. Too little, but above all to late.

Let's see what were gonna print today. Chastity device, Dildo?
Been there. Done that. How 'bout a prosthetic arm?

Facesitting for Advanced Practitioners

I was drinking a glass of water when I saw this. At first I was surprised, but then I started laughing. Water everywhere. How many slaves she goes through in a week? Mesmerizing and yummy at the same time, but above all: funny!

If a man's home is his castle, this guy has a bouncing castle for a home. Lucky fellow.

The Most Influential Femdom Movie Ever

Its the classics that shaped me. Mistress Ieish with her slave Talana Gamah, caught on screen, spilling the secrets of femdom for generations to come.

... and most of it I didn't even like. 

Mistress Ieish in full force (Image: Love Libertango)

Some time ago I ran into an older but rather famous image on Tumblr. The mistress in the picture is Ieish. Her slave is called Talana Gamah. I recognized her from an old femdom movie. Of course I remember it. Curious about the why and how I discussed it on one of the boards.

Forbidden Fruits (Free Nipple Clamps)

It must be Summer, I find it impossible to take my kink seriously. Lack of discipline? Whatever it is, Dutch cannot resist poking fun at the whole Fifty Shades thing. Sometimes fun becomes art. Bryan Regan is a US based full time working commercial/advertising photographer, who created a brilliant series of images called "Fifty Shades of Food" Love it. My one complaint is that it is "just" thirty amazing pictures. Still delicious images.

Enemy of the State: Who Reads My Blog?

A few days ago my blog received an unusually large number of hits from Poland, 400 in one day. It got me curious and for the first time I delved into the numbers. Still don't know why there was such a large influx from Poland but last week's provider list carried a few surprises.

Dutch is at last moving up in the world. After many thwarted attempts to gain recognition the DOD finally began scrutinizing my blog, eight visits within the space of a few days. In al fairness the United States Department of Defence probably sent bots, total time for each visit is zero seconds.

Musical Funishment

A while ago Femdom Resource asked for songs about submissive men and I couldn't come up with a decent answer. From the top of my head I can list several tracks, but impressive? No. Of course there is The Pretenders with Bad Boys Get Spanked, but that is so 1981. Shame on me. So I decided I had to do penance and selected some Summer tracks. Hardest thing ever. But don't worry no grapes or bottles of Prosecco were hurt in the process.

Songs about submissive men (Source:Humon)

The Tumblr post above by Humon is what started it. I prefer my own selection even if it is not submissive men singing. Trust me you don't want to hear me sing.

TLC's Submissive Wives' Guide to Marriage

Despite its ongoing popularity, Fifty Shades is the worst thing that ever happened to the BDSM community. TLC, a broadcaster that brands itself as non-fiction women's lifestyle TV - how do they come up with a description like that anyway - is one of the businesses that tries to cash in on the phenomena with an hour long "documentary" about submissive women. When they ran the promo they forgot to tell that it is about a submissive marriage in some biblical sense. It is unsettling and painful to watch.

Even this is preferable to TLC's portrait of a submissive marriage

Eva Carneiro: Eyes are the Mirror of the Soul

A while back i suggested that former US Secretary of State Condoleeza Rice was the person to replace Sepp Blatter as head of world football association FIFA. Guess I am the only one who likes the idea.

When you blog there is only one rule: every post needs an image, so I selected a picture of Chelsea club doctor Eva Carneiro treating Demba Ba's broken nose. This week doctor Carneiro made headline news again and what caught my attention was the expression on her face: ferocious.

Chelsea’s doctor Eva Carneiro exchanges views with coach José Mourinho. (Image The Guardian)

“The eyes are the mirror of the soul and reflect everything that seems to be hidden; and like a mirror, they also reflect the person looking into them.”

― Paulo Coelho, Manuscript Found in Accra

What happened?

During a match against Swansea last Saturday Carneiro ran on to the field to treat Eden Hazard, who had gone down with an injury. The medics were beckoned on by the referee, merely fulfilling their duty of care as medical professionals. Coach Mourinho, though, was incensed. With Chelsea already down to 10 men  and the game level at 2-2, he was worried that his team might be vulnerable with only eight outfield players to a Swansea counter for the winning goal.
Carneiro was later demoted after which the Premier League Doctors’ Group expressed concern that results were more important than the welfare of players.

The Guardian also has some background on Dr. Carneiro.