Tuesday, September 15, 2015

Puppet On a String: Love Turns Men Into Slaves

I've been asking myself what the difference is between the things we (men) do for love and those we do because we "serve." Whatever that is.

One night, I came home and literally tripped over the couch.
"I rearranged the furniture, but I don't think it's gonna work"
Really, what gave it away? Of course the apartment was mine, not hers.

Silly girl, why do you even have to ask.

There are several lessons to be learned from this. First, it is hers. What is? Everything is. Secondly, she decides. Us men are nothing more than a nuisance. They never say it out loud but "if I want your opinion I'll ask for it." And finally my apartment at the time was tiny. There was only one way to arrange the furniture. Which she did find out in the end. Good thing I loved her and like all men who love their girl, you let it go. That is, until the next thing comes along. You let that one go. If only scientists could turn letting go into a source of renewable energy. It would outlive the universe.

Boyfriend vs Slave
So, what's the difference between a boyfriend and a slave I was wondering. Very little, I guess. If you are really lucky, you don't have to wear a suit in some odd colour. Just because she wanted to try a different look on you and picked some pastel coloured outfit with some improbably and insane name in the middle of Winter. "But honey you look so nice in it, especially with the tie auntie knitted." Pray you survive that. After that... I know it is to much to ask but please let me wear a white shirt with my suits. As for ties. Well, all men know of the annual ugly tie burning festival on February 30th. It seemed like such a good idea at the time.

No seriously, most men give in to their girlfriends 99 percent of the time. Whether that is good or bad, it doesn't matter. They love us, but in certain aspects of their lives we're nothing more than a nuisance with a wallet (hers too). We just accept whatever she decides and the only time we put our foot down - because we love her - is when it comes to health or long term financial consequences. Other than that it is as Metallica said (read those lyrics, they're brilliant): Nothing else really matters. They know and we know. It's the way love works. So I beg you, what is the difference between a man in love and a slave, expect for a few boring protocols, aimed to implant a feeling of control in the dominant partner? You girls have us wrapped around your finger, so why pretend? We know it, have accepted it and learn(ed) to live with it. Some even love it. Not. author E.L. James obviously. Don't worry that comment was necessary to restore the cosmic balance and reassert the illusion of men ruling the world. We are your slave, we don't have to like it, but we know. And we accept. That's the way it is. Mother Nature probably had good reason for that. Uhmmm..

The only flaw in Mother Nature's plan was for a woman to have sons. Now that is cruel. Does she really want them to live in a world like that? Puzzling. Confusing.

Women, we can live with them, we want to, we need to. We can't live without them. And they know. But honestly, we really don't want to live without them. Still, it is not what the brochure said at the time. So next time your slave pleases you, ask yourself: is he serving his mistress or the woman he loves? That's a tough one, isn't it?

The only complaint I haven't heard is: "You never let me on top." But hey, feel free to go a little crazy. To me it's Sunday every day of the week.

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