Saturday, September 05, 2015

11 Things Dominant Women Always Get Wrong

Controlling their impulses reading certain headlines isn't one of them. That applies to all women.

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Unable to understand what certain household items are for.
Also you might get yourself a proper doormat, much more convenient.

  1. Why do nipple clamps need adjusting all the time? Can't you get it right the first time?
  2. Too many suitcases when you go on holiday. Do they forget we actually have to carry all that luggage? Maybe they just don't care.
  3. What happens after she says "poor baby, does it hurt" more often than not, in no way helps to alleviate the pain.
  4. They only seem to ask if you're comfortable, when it's most inappropriate. How hard is a little empathy?
  5. Their understanding of pain is limited. "This hurts me more than it does you." If that were really true my darling, why are you smiling so much?

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    "This hurts me much more than it does you" Now, really?
  6. Hand jobs. Dominant women ruin everything.
  7. The concept of time seems hard to understand and I am not talking about "Just give me five minutes".
    "Tomorrow I'll let you cum."
    "Good morning love of my life. I made you super-very-extra special breakfast, because today is the day."
    "What exactly did I say yesterday?"
    "Tomorrow is..."
  8. Her definition of anal sex is very different - and much more humiliating - than yours.
  9. Clues. If you find a copy of Fifty Shades on the night-stand. it does not mean she wants you to tie her up. Ever.
  10. Remembering your Christian name. Perhaps that's why she calls you boi most of the time.
  11. Where dominant women fail most spectacularly however is not being able to understand people only go shopping when you actually need stuff. Who goes to the pet store to buy a dog collar, if all you have at home are cats? A riding crop? Come on, we don't even own a horse.

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    No baby, we don't have room for a horse. You already have your own petting zoo.

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