Mistress Dometria of the Brighton Dungeon Passes Away

Over the years certain dommes, even if you have never met them, become kinkster household names. Brighton-based mistress Dometria is one of them. She passed away two weeks ago on August 03.

I remember how for several years a certain domme on one of the boards tried to temper my rebellious nature by threatening me with mistress Dometria. How did she know? Simply, I confessed to being scared of her, the good kind of fear. "Behave Dutch or I'll ask Mistress Dometria to pay you a visit!"

Now that I think back of it, it puts a smile on my face. She would have been too much to handle for me. What attracted me in her is her brazen, undiluted kink pedigree, which feels increasingly rare these days.

Mistress Dometria is considered a hardcore mistresses, the kind of what you see is what you get. She did advertise herself like that on her Brighton Dungeon website. "I am Mistress Dometria – I am the world’s harshest, most hardcore, BDSM Dominatrix!"

Apart from BDSM, Koulla Kakoulli's other passions included body building. In her early fifties she still enjoyed competitions. She leaves behind five children. They have set up a crowd funding campaign raising money for her funeral.

Humiliation is Coming Home

The 2018 football worldcup in Russia is the biggest stage on this planet there is. Loose despite the odds, just how desperate do you want to be humiliated?

Goal! (Image: unknown)

The 2018 football world cup is one full of surprises. Friends are familiair with my theory how the German team only stops fighting five minutes after the game has ended. Then again, I also predicted Brazil to win the cup, both in 2014 on their home turf, and in Russia this year.

Serious, Safe Kink - of Gurkha's and Special Forces

Imagine a world where you're safe from harm, but not from pain or anything else that comes with being a slave. It also happens in the real world and is called special forces selection.

Just bite your tongue, soldier.

The other day I read a comment about a guy looking for a sadistic but sane mistress. Don't we all? Doesn't mean he's wrong. The kink world is rife with imposters. They are mostly men, Dexter anyone? Unfortunately there are also a lot of undesirable female elements in the BDSM community. Nobody notices - or speaks out - because we live in a 20 to one world.

Beauty of Bondage, Visualized

Forget about the red dress, that's just my thing. The moment you see this image you just think: awesome. It's beautiful, spacious without distractions. Effortless harmony, as in together in distance. It even has different shades of white in the background. My posts are usually rather long. Not this time. Neither art, nor beauty or happiness should be dissected. Let's leave that to Hallmark and Disney.
 
The photographer is "René de Sans: From their official Twitter account: "I am a Berlin based artist, photographer & filmmaker. My work's prominent focus is on the diverse facets of kink, sexuality and human expression."

Ropes are by Kitty Mooschief, who tweets under the name Caritia. Her website is here.

The model is Bishop, his Facebook here.

Toy Story in Black & White

A selection of harmless images, displaying BDSM toys, all very tasteful. :)



Toys, toys, toys, they are mistress' privilige and a slave's preference, so choose wisely. I've confessed before how I am a gearhead when it comes to kink. Some think that is wrong, but hey, it's been a while since I last teased the femdom police, so here we go. A 'tasteful' selection of 11 black and white images of kinky toys. After all, there are no shades of grey once you enter the Dark Side, just cookies.

Of Queens, Art & Irony - Why Are We Afraid of Sex?

In this second half of my short series discussing queen Elizabeth making a former sex worker a dame, I wonder why is the West is so petrified of sex. Most likely answer? Religion.

Mirror, mirror on the wall, why is there so much hate?
"Darkness cannot drive out darkness; only light can do that.
Hate cannot drive out hate; only love can do that."
- Martin Luther King, Jr.
 (image: mistress Chiaki)

Some days my typewriter is more willing than others. For quite some time I've wanted to write about the similarities between pro-dommes who stand out and geishas, traditional Japanese female entertainers, but my keyboard says no. Geishas are also called geikos (芸妓), which translates specifically as "Woman of Art."

Noblesse Oblige: Queen Makes Former Sex Worker a Dame

It's no coincidence the British queen makes a New Zealand sex worker a dame, 48 hours after International Sex Workers Day.

No mixed signals: prince Philip the first one to bow to his queen at queen Elizabeth's 1953 coronation.Don't worry, unlike in the Netflix show, Philip knew what he signed up for. (image: Netflix' The Crown)

A few days ago Paltego wrote about "International Sex Workers Day" which is held on June 2nd. At least once a month I joke about how there are too many "Because of This or That" Days" and how we should look at the calender to find that last free spot available and christen it in honour of the one day where you don't have to remember anything.

Sex, Facebook and the Inevitable Extinction of Humanity

If you can't fix it, legislate it!

In Britain a new law that makes age verification mandatory before you can watch porn online, has been delayed. What people really should be talking about is the law itself. It's dangerous.

Don't know who this lady is, but I'm happy she caught my attention. This anonymous image also symbolizes the many unknown talking heads in Parliament. The difference is, with her, I want to know who she is and learn a bit more about her. When it comes to them I ask myself: who do you think you are? What do you think you are doing?

More rules can solve any problem (theoretically) and keep politicians at work (for sure) because their legislation introduces many more additional issues than it can ever hope to solve. But that is not their problem, is it? "Just doing the job you elected me to do Ma'am/Sir."

Oh chill, the United Kingdom will lead the way once again. Their laws against extreme porn have been working their magic for several years now. The time has come for the next step. Unfortunately there are some delays regarding the introduction of mandatory age checks for men - sorry, everyone - visiting pornographic websites. But don't worry, the government knows what's best for you. Some things never change. Trust your overlords.

No More Birthday Spankings

A primary school in Texas ends "traditional", fun birthday spankings for pupils after complaints from parents.

(Spanking) school's in session. (artist unknown)

Clearly I went to the wrong school, just like you, dear reader of this blog. Not that my time in school was unpleasant. Quite the opposite, in secondary school I connected with my inner kink through my first sadistic girlfriend. It's a true story.

Ice Road Truckers - Kink Style

Part of why I love kink is because I crave crazy more than most. Easily bored and so on. Recently quite a few dommes showed of their water-boarding skills, highly irresponsible but very trending at the time.

"Slave to my Wife/Goddess"

I wrote about the capitalization debate before but when I saw this blog's byline, I wondered what mattered most.

"Slave to my Goddess/Wife", somehow that doesn't sound right. For starters you need to change the title into a proper sentence:
"I Am Slave To My Goddess/Wife"

Most news articles will edit the header to look something like this:
"I am a slave to my goddess and wife."

Fool’s Gold - a Findomme's Life Story

A dying findomme - worth 666 million - refuses to leave her easily earned fortune to her only son, a heavy findom addict. Explaining the difference between serving women and your own desires, she points out several worthier causes for her estate.

"La la la, girls just wanna have fun"

As I explained a couple of years ago, we Dutch are notoriously cheap. Not by choice, but if we aren't frugal, the government takes away our passports. It made me the ideal candidate to conduct an interview with Mrs. Florijn, Floor for friends.

Floor is the world's richest and most successful findomme ever. Mrs. Florijn is struggling with her health. Her [other people's] money can buy her any medical treatment there is, no matter how expensive. Unfortunately for her, there is no cure and the doctors have given her a few weeks at most. In our interview we discuss findom in general, including tools of the trade. We also focus on the findom hierarchy, in the form of a little know thing called the findom pyramid.

"Start Today With Orgasm Control" - Manga

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Free to Live the Life You Want

Privacy, freedom to choose and femdom

Unlike queen Patricia of the Other World Kingdom, not all women are allowed to enjoy the femdom life from the shadows.

Not the pink catsuit that caught my eye but Nijntje [Miffy]. (Image mistress Baton)

In retrospect what impressed me most, is how queen Patricia, ruler of that femdom fairy tale, called the Other World Kingdom [OWK], understood privacy 2.0, before anyone else. Twenty years ago the OWK, just like the internet, was in its infancy. Much of the OWK's initial success was due to being an early adaptor of the online world.

To this day, you are haunted by the many, many images of dommes being showcased at the OWK, mostly on a pattern of ageless, rotating recycling. The one person that [doesn't] stand out is queen Patricia, probably because even then she understood, unlike most of us, the upcoming assault on our privacy, the connected world would turn out to be.

Ex-domme Drains Female Vanilla Students

In part two of my critique of The New York Times article about former dominatrix Mrs. Urbaniak and her Academy, "let's follow the money." Not exactly Watergate, but scandalous nevertheless.

What do they teach kids today anyway?
Crop in hand, latex-clad teacher Mrs. Urbianak at Yale university
(Image: Kasia Urbaniak)

Many years in the corporate world have taught me one thing. Most external advisors don't know what they're talking about. Why? It's not their area of expertise. To make up for that, they try and sell you hot air. I rather take lessons from history instead. Remember the one about that Greek city infiltrated by a wooden horse? Look no further, the dominatrix-enemy is within. There are many life lessons a former pro-domme can teach you. Instead Mrs. Urbaniak opts for cold hard cash at any price. Findom for female suckeresses. Guess that's progress or equality of sorts. Unfortunately those who attend class, will suffer. Uncontrollable inner-domme, anyone?

Bed of Nails - A Painful Balancing Act in Stainless Steel

"Made in kinky Germany, twelf points, douze pointe. (Plus a few more, you lucky slave)"

Tech Tuesday for kinksters and the introduction of a modular bed of nails, proudly "made in Germany". Slaves, be afraid, very afraid.

"Let's hope I don't rip my panties" (Image: Explicit Numerics)

What do you think when you see metal bondage gear "made in Germany?" Keep in mind that originally "made in Germany" was meant as a warning for British consumers against supposedly inferior products from abroad. Wrong! That was in 1887 and it backfired spectacularly. Since then "Made in Germany" has become synonymous with quality.

Mistress Knows Best - Terms & Conditions Apply

A former pro-domme teaches her students how to deal with men, using the tools of the dominatrix trade. With zero experience in the corporate world, what can go wrong?

On top of all the office fun, he gets a salary too.

Kink is not a self-help book. No matter how often I repeat that, nobody listens. I should have know better than to heap praise on The New York Times. The Gray Lady's article on "how to deal with men" sounds very much like an infomercial for ex-dominatrix Kasia Urbaniak's Academy. All of that can be forgiven if Mrs. Urbaniak had something real to offer to her students. Unfortunately she is one of the many exploiting the freak element of femdom for personal gain. Most likely the average woman is better off not attending her classes.

Finally, the Audience Is ‘Fifty Shades Freed’

How to spot a bad movie? Press screenings 24 hours before it's release!

The new Fifty Shades movie is terrible. For once trust the critics. The honeymoon is over. At last! 

Now that's what I call a red room! (Image Tom Foolery/2012 Seattle Erotic Art Festival)

"Fifty Shades Freed” earned $38.8 million and the top spot at the North American box office. The considerably more family-friendly “Peter Rabbit” came second." Yes that is The New York Times. Comes with free [digital] delivery and complementary irony. Well played Gray Lady!

All right, I'll spare you the horrors of discussing Fifty Shades 3.0 on Valentines Day, but we really have to talk about it. After all, how much non-consensual abuse is acceptable, even for kinksters?

Porn on TV and the Rejection of Kink

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NCIS - Where Victims of Abuse Turn Masochist

Once you open your eyes, mainstream kink abuse is everywhere

TV show NCIS portrays masochists as victims of abuse and looking for penance through pain rather than consenting adults born this way. It's all about the ratings baby.

"Very, very weird" (Image: NCIS)

Fool me once... Well, you know how it goes. Looking East to salvage my illusion that kink on TV can serve as goodwill ambassador, I was naive. In what would be the penultimate episode of this series, even Japan's anime series Prison School doesn't respect those who are alternatively inclined.

Kink Depression

Where have all the good dommes gone?

Warning: online kink research may damage your health. Don't know if there is such a thing as kink depression, but if there is, I'm suffering from it.

 
A recent New York Times article, or better, an advertorial on how to use the "way of the domme" - sorry Bruce Lee - to deal with men, left me feeling sad. I'll write about it later, but for now one example. A woman who negotiated a multi-million dollar contract is left out of the signing ceremony. Pro-domme advice: next time, pepper him with a relentless barrage of questions. Bad advice, but it gets worse when you read the last paragraph, where it says that her boss and his boss are in attendance.

Prison School - Anime Dreams of a Masochistic Teenager

Abandon all hope. Kink on TV only makes things worse.

No matter how much fun it is, when anime depicts masochists as pigs, both literally and figurally, there is no hope of kinksters ever being considered normal people with alternative sexual preferences.

Prison School: Anime that spreads the message: no outsiders, on screen or in the real world.

After my Tokyo session I asked mistress how populair kink in Japan was. "It's really big here" she answered. In part four of our series on why kink on TV won't lead to more mainstream acceptance, a look at Japan and it's anime culture. Unfortunately, East or West, the message is the same. Kink on TV is being exploited for entertainment, even if it means dehumanizing BDSM enthusiasts.

TV Show Billions and the Abuse of Kink for Ratings

Billions opens with the kinkiest scene on TV ever, but as soon as the program gains name recognition, the kink theme is dropped.

"Honey, I'm home.". The opening scene from Billions (Image: Billions)

In part III of why more kink on TV doesn't increase mainstream acceptance, an indept look at Billions and how it uses kink to sell the show.

Basically, Billions made headlines because of it's opening scene. A man is lying on the floor, bound, helpless and nowhere to go. Heels are clicking. A bit of silly conversation is next. Then mistress puts out her cigarette on his chest. The caring woman that she is, she fights the fire that is consuming his flesh by peeing on her slave. She is also his wife, definitely points for that.

"That's Mistress Parrot to you!" and other Cheesy Slave Chores

Why spend more time on educating the general audience, if kinksters are only good for poking fun at? Some examples from the Comedy Central website.

In part II of why more kink on TV doesn't equal increased mainstream acceptance, the silliest things we do for lust.

Researching kink online can be challenging. We men are always interested in naked women and the internet offers plenty of that. Normally I would say "viva la internet" but when you are looking for actual facts with your pants zipped, it gets annoying. Delving into the world of television and kink, I stumbled upon Comedy Central and their unique take on dominance and submission. Don't be too curious, you can sum it up in one word: "really?"

BDSM on TV is Not Going Mainstream

The many looking down on the preferences of the few. Because it sells.

Don't believe the hype, it's a sequel. There is no kink genesis on TV, nor does prolonged exposure to on-screen BDSM lead to more acceptance in general. We're entertainment, that's all folks!

The Mick's Sabrina indulging her superiority complex, a priviliged life only money can buy.

There is one universal fetish all kinksters share: mainstream acceptance. That ain't ever gonna happen, just live and let live would be a pretty decent deal. And no, those proclaiming there's no deeper bond than the one between mistress and her slave are not helping "da cauz". Fifty Shades to the rescue perhaps? Woohaa, that is just as likely as 20 dommes for every slave.

My Tokyo Session

How can the world's worst slave also be the luckiest?

A few years ago I was in Japan and had a wonderful encounter and a fun session. It almost didn't happen.

Tokyo's Shinjuku district by day (Image: Easy Voyage)

"I'm walking on sunshine, yeah yeah yeah". Probably because Tokyo in summer is hot. Hot and humid, but who cares, I'm loving it. By any means Japan's capital is huge. Each district is a town on it's own.

The Safeword: Locked Out of Heaven?

Can't live without it, shouldn't do without.

A riel slave - very much like a twue domme - doesn't need a safeword. But what if reality bites?

How considerate, a gag with a hole for a safeword.

Like I explained before, I was late to the femdom party. Life was always good - and perhaps a bit overwhelming at times. The first mistress I ever played with used a safeword. She instructed me before we started. A few months later, after we got to know each other a little better, she brought out the gag for the first time. Once again, there was the safety instruction. It wasn't just about "too much to handle". By then she had figured out I had this slight, self-destructive capacity for stubbornness. She taught me safety was also about limbs being tied up and getting numb. Before that initial combination of gag and bondage, her instructions read: three fingers to signal I was in distress.

11 Things to Write About in 2018

OWK; My son is into femdom; New to femdom; Findom; Pro-domme book review; Future of femdom; Privileged piggies; Clips4Sale; Domme Deficit; Big BDSM test; Femdom fiction and so much more.

January Seraph, who passed away in 2017

Before I start, I love your suggestions and comments. Please keep them coming, whether it is your opinion about something I wrote, information and links, updates or whatever else is on your mind. Thank you!


1. OWK - Other World Korrupted?
The notorious, beloved femdom compound finally seems to be living up to it's name. As a preview, a 45 minute clip by Goddess Amazon, detailing her encounters with the new - male - owner of the OWK. To be fair, what caught my attention was the name Womania and too much pink in the new logo.

If you have any info, useful links, personal stories about the OWK to share, please drop me a line.

Bill and the Spanking Thing - Doctor Who 2017 Christmas Special

[ 1] “you’re in for a jolly good smacked bottom!”
[13] "Oh, brilliant!"

You all know why I write about Doctor Who. Didn't expect fireworks for this year's Christmas episode, in fact I'd given myself some time off till New Year's Day from blogging, but my hand was forced. And yes, if you haven't seen Twice Upon a Time, it's spoilers from here on, you silly.

I've always been a sucker for smiling women. (Image Doctor Who/BBC)

On the third day of Christmas, Dutch writes about Doctor Who. Don't get me wrong, I enjoyed all Doctors, but the Twelfth Doctor [12] is my favourite. Matt Smith was too young and too jolly. David Tenant a bit older, but also trying too hard to be popular. The original reboot Doctor, Christopher Eccleston - a single season Timelord only - was great though.

The 2017 Christmassy 'n' Femdommy Movies List

A list of 11 of the best Christmas movies with a strong femdom theme. But be warned, the list is as varied as femdom is. Not that I shy away from clichés. It's Christmas after all, the only season where the festive colours turn from black and red to green and red. But if you don't like my selection, please feel free to send me your own femdom homevideo....

Black, Red, & Green: femdom X-Mas homemovie.
Catwoman and the enslaved crusader.
(Image: Lady Fyre/Fetish Island)

As part of last year's Christmas treat, I rated female Disney villains for their kink pedigree. That didn't get many of you excited, perhaps too highbrow for some? I don't know, but I am always willing to sink to the lowest common denominator, so here are the 11 Christmas movies, most likely to appeal to those, interested in femdom, the official 2017 very Christmassy 'n' Femdommy Movies (CFM) list.

Note: In case I get it wrong [again], just attribute it to my penchant for public humiliation. It's something of an involuntarily twitch. I guess.

Wishing on a Star - Or how the Grinch Strikes Back

Two years ago I wrote how the Grinch stole our Christmas. This year he is back with a vengeance, messing with our love once again.

Our story picks up again in January 2017:

"Hey!"
"Hey..."

Of course our love is forever. Everybody knows. All loves are. We all know. That is, as long as both parties stick to the script. Us? We've said our goodbyes many times over. Little did I know there are two kinds of farewell. One where lovers misspell “I miss you” and the other – whatever - one. We even convinced ourselves we had moved on. In my never-ending arrogance, I wrote just that - presumptuously speaking for the both of us.

Femdom's Final [Sci Fi] Frontier

Houston, Houston, Do You Read?

In a peaceful world without men, what would be the impact of just three of them? A 1967 sci fi novels deals with that topic, raising additional questions about gender-roles, patriarchy and feminism.

Wave the flag (Image: Greatest SF)

After reading my post on femdom sci fi and Star Wars, Subboyjoy sent an interesting suggestion, proving once again that kink and sci fi are indeed connected.

Femdom, Sci Fi and Star Wars

Sci-Fi has always served as an inspiration for people interested into role play - and kink. Today, the ninth Star Wars movie is being released. Time to mix some kink with Star Wars.

Oh, the force is with me all the time.

Midway through December, the holidays just around the corner, it's time for a little banter. In the almost five years that my blog has been up and running, I've often advocated not to take your kink too seriously. Don't worry, I say the same thing about life. Anything I do take seriously? Yes, love, not the easiest of topics, especially not in a community where most believe submission is about matters of the heart rather than their own animal desires.

Fifty Shades - or How Not to Sell a Washing Machine

To most people washing machines and Fifty Shades are worlds apart, but not for some copy writers. Who is the real pervert here?

Sex sells [I think], even if it is Fifty Shades

Sex sells, everybody in advertising knows, but for most people sex doesn't necessarily equal femdom. Remember that 2011 dominatrix/vodka video? After a woman kisses her husband goodbye and wishes him a pleasant day at work, the doorbell rings. All of a sudden she is transformed into this dominatrix, wearing a latex bikini, wielding her crop. Next thing you see is a man in his underwear, scrubbing the floor while feeling the pressure of her boot in his neck.