"Mistress, I Love Everything About Your Outfit and Toys"

Mistress Alina's smile is definitely 10/10. Very impressive, even, if you, like me, live in a 11/10 smileverse. (Image: Tumblr)

Life is all about the three I's: me, myself and I. Not even Steven Jobs could change that. The other day I ran into a post on Tumblr with this caption:

"Mistress, I love everything about you - your charming and dangerous smile, your beautiful and oh so stinging whip, your boots that I long to kiss, and the very nice bench where you will beat me black and blue"

The guy who wrote it never realised what he just said. It's kind of silly and made me laugh out loud. I'm all for women born with a smile on their face, so yes, I'll give him that. Mistress Alina's smile is clearly intoxicating. Unfortunately our boy is getting a little over-excited when he ponders just how "dangerous" her smile is. Next you know it is all about whips, boots 'n' benches and "me". So funny.

Mistress Sidonia's Champagne Gag

Gags and mistress' champagne go surprisingly well together in a deliciously devious and highly creative English Mansion video clip.

Happy mistress, happy slave. Femdom at its finest at the crossroads of creativity and wickedness.

It's always risky to confess your love of gags, even if you need them purely for practical reasons. People immediately begin whispering just how suspicious it is, Dutch writing posts featuring images of gagged female submissives, even when it's appropriate writing an article on quack science and women wearing gags. Gags also look better on female submissives. And no I'm no closet male dom, it's just that we men are the uglier sex, which also means we are the lucky ones.

Gagging On It. Scientists Who Love Female Submissives

The sweet smell of submission, euh science.

"Rescue yourself" [from the evil scientist.]" Don't wait for Prince Charming to [remove your gag and] kiss you", Keira Knightly says.

Yes, it's science time again. From the producers, ahum researchers, who brought you the instant classic "Empathy in female submissive BDSM practitioners", comes a new study. This one is so impressive it's open access. Just read that title:

"Embodiment and Humiliation Moderation of Neural Responses to Others' Suffering in Female Submissive BDSM Practitioners"

Don't fall for my sarcasm, open access means no grown-up science journal is interested. Makes sense because experts in the field basically think it's crap. They phrased it slightly different, but that's how they explain it to you and me.

Food Dominatrix

Crème brûlée will never be the same again.

Is there a difference between torturing lost souls and inflicting pain on the fruits of nature? Not if you are a fooddomme who also loves femdom.

She looks so mean. Almost as if she cares and tries to warn millenials about the dangers of advocados.

Domme by day, foodie by night and finally coming out on Comedy Central. Where else? D'oh! If you enjoy torturing men, why not extend the fun to the kitchen and make your vegetables suffer before you boil them alive. Unless you prefer to stir-fry them of course that is. Don't worry, vegetables don't have legs - and if they did - your inner sadist would have chopped their limpings off long before you sentenced the tiny little helpless vegetarians to such an excruciating death. By the way, don't forget the hot sauce, it adds that little extra bit of umpf.

Magic Butt Plugs: Quack Medicine

After years of being fascinated with Dr. Young's advertisement, I finally decided to look it up. Quite a feat for an ad that is over a hundred years old. Guess I'm not the only one, it has it's own Wikipedia page.

Doctor Who: Voluntary Enslavement is the Best. Free the Ood!

In order to celebrate the arrival of the Thirteenth Doctor on television tonight, the BBC calls it series eleven [i] of Doctor Who a few notes on the Ood, an alien race that is submissive, or so it seems.



The really exciting news is that Luther returns later this year. "It's good to be back in London, back in the coat," Idris Elba tweeted in January. As an added bonus Alice will be there too! Let’s be honest we needed a bit of good news after the way BBC’s “prestige” drama Bodyguard bombed. [ii]  Yep watching terrible television is what happens when you have too much time on your hands because you don’t have to clean the dungeon with a toothbrush.

What's on a Man's Mind

Yes, you were thinking the same thing I was, when you just saw this image. We're both wrong. The image belongs to an article discussing buying a new kitchen. I found it in today's (Dutch) newspaper. No need to run it through Google translate, same old, same old. She decides. Took him a while to realise. Odd choice for an image though.

Reduced Empathy – Scientists Looking for Glory

In today’s fake news: [i] researchers in China ‘discover’ female subs, but not necessarily male ones, suffer from reduced empathy. The research looks flawed at best. Now imagine you are a submissive woman, getting a divorce. The story of the perils researching the BDSM community, motivated solely by “scientists’” quest for glory and fame.

Lady Samantha, German pro-domme with a degree in psychology.

Femdom Resource [ii] dug up an interesting piece of research. Unfortunately the result of all that science is not so benign. It's outcome was popularized for the masses (people like you and me) in Psypost's attempt to clickbait its readers. That's where doubtful science turned nasty. No other way to explain how the first bullet point from the Science Direct abstract:

"Involving in BDSM relationships and practices did not necessarily result in weaken empathy abilities."

magically turns into this headline:

"Female submissives have reduced empathy to others’ suffering, study on BDSM finds"

Ghomeshi and Kavanaugh: Bread and Circusses

A few days ago Jian Ghomeshi wrote an essay for The New York Review of Books called Reflections from a Hashtag. The backlash makes little sense, especially compared to the accusations against judge Kavanaugh.

"Don't speak"

In 2014 Mr. Ghomeshi, a Canadian radio host, was accused of having rough, at times non-consensual sex with several women. CBC, his employer, subsequently fired him. At his 2016 trial he was acquitted. A second one was cancelled after he reached an agreement with a fourth accuser. There was no admission of guilt.

I found out about the story because Quartz, a business publication, defended his right to have non-traditional sex. Based on the article, I agreed. Once more details surfaced, it no longer was about having an alternative sexual preference, but whether or not Mr. Ghomeshi abused these women. All in all, 19 came forward.

The Bride Who Makes FindomZillas Look Good

Don't you feel being charged to attend a wedding is like being cheated? Love is priceless, so why put a price on friendship?

"How sweet it is to be loved by you"

Dutch here. Dear all, I'm happy to announce mistress and I are going to get married. We've been together from the age of 14. To be honest, it was long overdue. We saved up about EUR 15.000 for our wedding, so that's kind of OK. However after consulting a leading psychic we learned that having a destination wedding is necessary for our cosmic energy rays or whatever to align properly. Celestial nonsense and so on. It's why we choose the beautiful island of Aruba for the ceremony. Unfortunately it also comes with a sticker price of EUR 60.000. Because of that every guest has to pay up. The price is EUR 1.500 or else no entry to our wedding. Please note your contribution does not include transport and accommodation while on the island. Please send your cheques ASAP.

Too Much Information

There is limited acceptance at best of people who enjoy BDSM and that will probably never change. All the more reason to be vigilant about your privacy, especially if you write a high profile book.

Chilling after a long day at the office, just don't tell anyone.

There is a new book out on Donald Trump. Yes, another one. Surprisingly it got less attention than other recent Trump bashings. In "Everything Trump Touches Dies" former GOP strategist Rick Wilson shares his unfiltered opinion about the people that work for the 45th President of the United States thinly disguised as an analysis of everything that's wrong.

Don't worry, this blog is not about politics, it's about kink. Reading the book I found myself wondering just how much information we divulge by accident.

"It must be the broad masochistic streak among lobbyists that keeps legions of dominatrices in business in Washington, DC." [p. 38]

Mistress Dometria of the Brighton Dungeon Passes Away

Over the years certain dommes, even if you have never met them, become kinkster household names. Brighton-based mistress Dometria is one of them. She passed away two weeks ago on August 03.

I remember how for several years a certain domme on one of the boards tried to temper my rebellious nature by threatening me with mistress Dometria. How did she know? Simply, I confessed to being scared of her, the good kind of fear. "Behave Dutch or I'll ask Mistress Dometria to pay you a visit!"

Now that I think back of it, it puts a smile on my face. She would have been too much to handle for me. What attracted me in her is her brazen, undiluted kink pedigree, which feels increasingly rare these days.

Mistress Dometria is considered a hardcore mistresses, the kind of what you see is what you get. She did advertise herself like that on her Brighton Dungeon website. "I am Mistress Dometria – I am the world’s harshest, most hardcore, BDSM Dominatrix!"

Apart from BDSM, Koulla Kakoulli's other passions included body building. In her early fifties she still enjoyed competitions. She leaves behind five children. They have set up a crowd funding campaign raising money for her funeral.

Humiliation is Coming Home

The 2018 football worldcup in Russia is the biggest stage on this planet there is. Loose despite the odds, just how desperate do you want to be humiliated?

Goal! (Image: unknown)

The 2018 football world cup is one full of surprises. Friends are familiair with my theory how the German team only stops fighting five minutes after the game has ended. Then again, I also predicted Brazil to win the cup, both in 2014 on their home turf, and in Russia this year.

Serious, Safe Kink - of Gurkha's and Special Forces

Imagine a world where you're safe from harm, but not from pain or anything else that comes with being a slave. It also happens in the real world and is called special forces selection.

Just bite your tongue, soldier.

The other day I read a comment about a guy looking for a sadistic but sane mistress. Don't we all? Doesn't mean he's wrong. The kink world is rife with imposters. They are mostly men, Dexter anyone? Unfortunately there are also a lot of undesirable female elements in the BDSM community. Nobody notices - or speaks out - because we live in a 20 to one world.

Beauty of Bondage, Visualized

Forget about the red dress, that's just my thing. The moment you see this image you just think: awesome. It's beautiful, spacious without distractions. Effortless harmony, as in together in distance. It even has different shades of white in the background. My posts are usually rather long. Not this time. Neither art, nor beauty or happiness should be dissected. Let's leave that to Hallmark and Disney.
 
The photographer is "René de Sans: From their official Twitter account: "I am a Berlin based artist, photographer & filmmaker. My work's prominent focus is on the diverse facets of kink, sexuality and human expression."

Ropes are by Kitty Mooschief, who tweets under the name Caritia. Her website is here.

The model is Bishop, his Facebook here.

Toy Story in Black & White

A selection of harmless images, displaying BDSM toys, all very tasteful. :)



Toys, toys, toys, they are mistress' privilige and a slave's preference, so choose wisely. I've confessed before how I am a gearhead when it comes to kink. Some think that is wrong, but hey, it's been a while since I last teased the femdom police, so here we go. A 'tasteful' selection of 11 black and white images of kinky toys. After all, there are no shades of grey once you enter the Dark Side, just cookies.

Of Queens, Art & Irony - Why Are We Afraid of Sex?

In this second half of my short series discussing queen Elizabeth making a former sex worker a dame, I wonder why is the West is so petrified of sex. Most likely answer? Religion.

Mirror, mirror on the wall, why is there so much hate?
"Darkness cannot drive out darkness; only light can do that.
Hate cannot drive out hate; only love can do that."
- Martin Luther King, Jr.
 (image: mistress Chiaki)

Some days my typewriter is more willing than others. For quite some time I've wanted to write about the similarities between pro-dommes who stand out and geishas, traditional Japanese female entertainers, but my keyboard says no. Geishas are also called geikos (芸妓), which translates specifically as "Woman of Art."

Noblesse Oblige: Queen Makes Former Sex Worker a Dame

It's no coincidence the British queen makes a New Zealand sex worker a dame, 48 hours after International Sex Workers Day.

No mixed signals: prince Philip the first one to bow to his queen at queen Elizabeth's 1953 coronation.Don't worry, unlike in the Netflix show, Philip knew what he signed up for. (image: Netflix' The Crown)

A few days ago Paltego wrote about "International Sex Workers Day" which is held on June 2nd. At least once a month I joke about how there are too many "Because of This or That" Days" and how we should look at the calender to find that last free spot available and christen it in honour of the one day where you don't have to remember anything.

Sex, Facebook and the Inevitable Extinction of Humanity

If you can't fix it, legislate it!

In Britain a new law that makes age verification mandatory before you can watch porn online, has been delayed. What people really should be talking about is the law itself. It's dangerous.

Don't know who this lady is, but I'm happy she caught my attention. This anonymous image also symbolizes the many unknown talking heads in Parliament. The difference is, with her, I want to know who she is and learn a bit more about her. When it comes to them I ask myself: who do you think you are? What do you think you are doing?

More rules can solve any problem (theoretically) and keep politicians at work (for sure) because their legislation introduces many more additional issues than it can ever hope to solve. But that is not their problem, is it? "Just doing the job you elected me to do Ma'am/Sir."

Oh chill, the United Kingdom will lead the way once again. Their laws against extreme porn have been working their magic for several years now. The time has come for the next step. Unfortunately there are some delays regarding the introduction of mandatory age checks for men - sorry, everyone - visiting pornographic websites. But don't worry, the government knows what's best for you. Some things never change. Trust your overlords.

No More Birthday Spankings

A primary school in Texas ends "traditional", fun birthday spankings for pupils after complaints from parents.

(Spanking) school's in session. (artist unknown)

Clearly I went to the wrong school, just like you, dear reader of this blog. Not that my time in school was unpleasant. Quite the opposite, in secondary school I connected with my inner kink through my first sadistic girlfriend. It's a true story.

Ice Road Truckers - Kink Style

Part of why I love kink is because I crave crazy more than most. Easily bored and so on. Recently quite a few dommes showed of their water-boarding skills, highly irresponsible but very trending at the time.

"Slave to my Wife/Goddess"

I wrote about the capitalization debate before but when I saw this blog's byline, I wondered what mattered most.

"Slave to my Goddess/Wife", somehow that doesn't sound right. For starters you need to change the title into a proper sentence:
"I Am Slave To My Goddess/Wife"

Most news articles will edit the header to look something like this:
"I am a slave to my goddess and wife."

Fool’s Gold - a Findomme's Life Story

A dying findomme - worth 666 million - refuses to leave her easily earned fortune to her only son, a heavy findom addict. Explaining the difference between serving women and your own desires, she points out several worthier causes for her estate.

"La la la, girls just wanna have fun"

As I explained a couple of years ago, we Dutch are notoriously cheap. Not by choice, but if we aren't frugal, the government takes away our passports. It made me the ideal candidate to conduct an interview with Mrs. Florijn, Floor for friends.

Floor is the world's richest and most successful findomme ever. Mrs. Florijn is struggling with her health. Her [other people's] money can buy her any medical treatment there is, no matter how expensive. Unfortunately for her, there is no cure and the doctors have given her a few weeks at most. In our interview we discuss findom in general, including tools of the trade. We also focus on the findom hierarchy, in the form of a little know thing called the findom pyramid.

"Start Today With Orgasm Control" - Manga

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Free to Live the Life You Want

Privacy, freedom to choose and femdom

Unlike queen Patricia of the Other World Kingdom, not all women are allowed to enjoy the femdom life from the shadows.

Not the pink catsuit that caught my eye but Nijntje [Miffy]. (Image mistress Baton)

In retrospect what impressed me most, is how queen Patricia, ruler of that femdom fairy tale, called the Other World Kingdom [OWK], understood privacy 2.0, before anyone else. Twenty years ago the OWK, just like the internet, was in its infancy. Much of the OWK's initial success was due to being an early adaptor of the online world.

To this day, you are haunted by the many, many images of dommes being showcased at the OWK, mostly on a pattern of ageless, rotating recycling. The one person that [doesn't] stand out is queen Patricia, probably because even then she understood, unlike most of us, the upcoming assault on our privacy, the connected world would turn out to be.

Ex-domme Drains Female Vanilla Students

In part two of my critique of The New York Times article about former dominatrix Mrs. Urbaniak and her Academy, "let's follow the money." Not exactly Watergate, but scandalous nevertheless.

What do they teach kids today anyway?
Crop in hand, latex-clad teacher Mrs. Urbianak at Yale university
(Image: Kasia Urbaniak)

Many years in the corporate world have taught me one thing. Most external advisors don't know what they're talking about. Why? It's not their area of expertise. To make up for that, they try and sell you hot air. I rather take lessons from history instead. Remember the one about that Greek city infiltrated by a wooden horse? Look no further, the dominatrix-enemy is within. There are many life lessons a former pro-domme can teach you. Instead Mrs. Urbaniak opts for cold hard cash at any price. Findom for female suckeresses. Guess that's progress or equality of sorts. Unfortunately those who attend class, will suffer. Uncontrollable inner-domme, anyone?

Bed of Nails - A Painful Balancing Act in Stainless Steel

"Made in kinky Germany, twelf points, douze pointe. (Plus a few more, you lucky slave)"

Tech Tuesday for kinksters and the introduction of a modular bed of nails, proudly "made in Germany". Slaves, be afraid, very afraid.

"Let's hope I don't rip my panties" (Image: Explicit Numerics)

What do you think when you see metal bondage gear "made in Germany?" Keep in mind that originally "made in Germany" was meant as a warning for British consumers against supposedly inferior products from abroad. Wrong! That was in 1887 and it backfired spectacularly. Since then "Made in Germany" has become synonymous with quality.

Mistress Knows Best - Terms & Conditions Apply

A former pro-domme teaches her students how to deal with men, using the tools of the dominatrix trade. With zero experience in the corporate world, what can go wrong?

On top of all the office fun, he gets a salary too.

Kink is not a self-help book. No matter how often I repeat that, nobody listens. I should have know better than to heap praise on The New York Times. The Gray Lady's article on "how to deal with men" sounds very much like an infomercial for ex-dominatrix Kasia Urbaniak's Academy. All of that can be forgiven if Mrs. Urbaniak had something real to offer to her students. Unfortunately she is one of the many exploiting the freak element of femdom for personal gain. Most likely the average woman is better off not attending her classes.

Finally, the Audience Is ‘Fifty Shades Freed’

How to spot a bad movie? Press screenings 24 hours before it's release!

The new Fifty Shades movie is terrible. For once trust the critics. The honeymoon is over. At last! 

Now that's what I call a red room! (Image Tom Foolery/2012 Seattle Erotic Art Festival)

"Fifty Shades Freed” earned $38.8 million and the top spot at the North American box office. The considerably more family-friendly “Peter Rabbit” came second." Yes that is The New York Times. Comes with free [digital] delivery and complementary irony. Well played Gray Lady!

All right, I'll spare you the horrors of discussing Fifty Shades 3.0 on Valentines Day, but we really have to talk about it. After all, how much non-consensual abuse is acceptable, even for kinksters?

Porn on TV and the Rejection of Kink

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NCIS - Where Victims of Abuse Turn Masochist

Once you open your eyes, mainstream kink abuse is everywhere

TV show NCIS portrays masochists as victims of abuse and looking for penance through pain rather than consenting adults born this way. It's all about the ratings baby.

"Very, very weird" (Image: NCIS)

Fool me once... Well, you know how it goes. Looking East to salvage my illusion that kink on TV can serve as goodwill ambassador, I was naive. In what would be the penultimate episode of this series, even Japan's anime series Prison School doesn't respect those who are alternatively inclined.

Kink Depression

Where have all the good dommes gone?

Warning: online kink research may damage your health. Don't know if there is such a thing as kink depression, but if there is, I'm suffering from it.

 
A recent New York Times article, or better, an advertorial on how to use the "way of the domme" - sorry Bruce Lee - to deal with men, left me feeling sad. I'll write about it later, but for now one example. A woman who negotiated a multi-million dollar contract is left out of the signing ceremony. Pro-domme advice: next time, pepper him with a relentless barrage of questions. Bad advice, but it gets worse when you read the last paragraph, where it says that her boss and his boss are in attendance.

Prison School - Anime Dreams of a Masochistic Teenager

Abandon all hope. Kink on TV only makes things worse.

No matter how much fun it is, when anime depicts masochists as pigs, both literally and figurally, there is no hope of kinksters ever being considered normal people with alternative sexual preferences.

Prison School: Anime that spreads the message: no outsiders, on screen or in the real world.

After my Tokyo session I asked mistress how populair kink in Japan was. "It's really big here" she answered. In part four of our series on why kink on TV won't lead to more mainstream acceptance, a look at Japan and it's anime culture. Unfortunately, East or West, the message is the same. Kink on TV is being exploited for entertainment, even if it means dehumanizing BDSM enthusiasts.

TV Show Billions and the Abuse of Kink for Ratings

Billions opens with the kinkiest scene on TV ever, but as soon as the program gains name recognition, the kink theme is dropped.

"Honey, I'm home.". The opening scene from Billions (Image: Billions)

In part III of why more kink on TV doesn't increase mainstream acceptance, an indept look at Billions and how it uses kink to sell the show.

Basically, Billions made headlines because of it's opening scene. A man is lying on the floor, bound, helpless and nowhere to go. Heels are clicking. A bit of silly conversation is next. Then mistress puts out her cigarette on his chest. The caring woman that she is, she fights the fire that is consuming his flesh by peeing on her slave. She is also his wife, definitely points for that.

"That's Mistress Parrot to you!" and other Cheesy Slave Chores

Why spend more time on educating the general audience, if kinksters are only good for poking fun at? Some examples from the Comedy Central website.

In part II of why more kink on TV doesn't equal increased mainstream acceptance, the silliest things we do for lust.

Researching kink online can be challenging. We men are always interested in naked women and the internet offers plenty of that. Normally I would say "viva la internet" but when you are looking for actual facts with your pants zipped, it gets annoying. Delving into the world of television and kink, I stumbled upon Comedy Central and their unique take on dominance and submission. Don't be too curious, you can sum it up in one word: "really?"