Wiggle it
It's always the ones you least expect.
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Surprise: found in the prop department of a 200 million super spy movie.
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My previous post was about butt plugs, today is about strap-ons. Hey, I don't make the news.
So I tried to come up with some kind of intelligent answer to the question of who I am. Of course my argument derailed and I ended up giving high praise to Michelle Yeoh. Excellent choice if I may say so. We'll get back to the question of 'who is Dutch' in some future post.
There are two Bond 'girls' that are more than a match for 007. Of course there is Wai Lin, the character played by Michelle Yeoh in the 1997 movie Tomorrow Never Dies. Twelve years before the movie poster for A View To A Kill tried to lure people to the cinema, suggesting James Bond had finally met his match. Of course he did. Officially because he had sex with Mayday with her on top but out of view of the camera there is a much better, funnier reason. Also a nice contrast with Michelle Yeoh's character who is immune to Bond’s seduction techniques.
Former Bond girl Barbara Bach [Pussy Galore] had suggested Grace Jones for the role of Mayday. Yes, Grace Jones, the original femdom icon, whose favourite apprentice is Janet Jackson. There has been a lot of [pointless discussion] about the character of Mayday. It's where you choose to look. To me Grace Jones' Mayday is badass.
While filming Tomorrow Never Dies Pierce Brosnan asked Michelle Yeoh how good she really was. Mrs. Yeoh - who does all her own stunts and is more than a match for Jackie Chan - does a roundhouse kick and lands about 10 millimeter in front of him. Seriously mate?
Both Pierce Brosnan and Roger Moore always struck me as boring. My apologies to Mr. Moore. Last Saturday there was this article in the Guardian about Grace Jones and she let us in on a little secret.
"I’d heard he had a reputation that lightened the mood: he’d hide sex toys around the bed and goose you with them. I beat him to it. I went down to the prop room and found a huge black-and-white polka-dot dildo, strapped it on under my robe, and surprised him instead."
I can see Grace Jones pulling a stunt like that, but Roger Moore. And why did they even have a dildo on set? And not just any dildo but a huge one, black with white polka dots. The longer you think about it, the crazier it gets.
Lovely surprise but now that I'm done it's time to watch a movie. Still haven't seen the one where Michelle Yeoh battles giant butt plugs. It never ends, does it?
Face the music
Dutch is not a sadist. An odd sense of humor is more like it. If Robin S singing Show Me Love used to be hardcore house music, what is Westbam? Terror house perhaps? Hadn't heard the track in a while. Time has definitely mellowed it. Not in 1992. Back then there were only two flavours. You either hated it or you loved it. Or blew up the sound system. Just look up Oochy Koochy by Baby Ford [1988]. Killer vinyl. And yes that's funny.
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| Westbam - the Mayday Anthem (don't click to listen) |
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Lots of talk at the United Nations. What else? Today the Kremlin denies Russians fleeing to avoid army service after Putin announces partial mobilization. What a mess. Everybody looses, including that Russian guy on social media live streaming burning gas on his stove 24/7. Because that's how you teach the West a lesson. It's gonna get worse before it gets better I'm afraid.
Despite the colours that's not an Ikea strap-on. More on Kinkea later. Nope, not a banana looking for home either. Let's just say strap-ons give you power. This one is pointing East. You can fill in the blanks yourself.
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