Domme School and the Art of Humiliation

A few days ago I wrote about a woman, unlucky in love, who attended a class on “dominatrix training” Dominance and sadism both contain physical and mental elements. Part of the latter is a penchant most mistresses have for humiliation. As usual, I don't

Guidance is priceless, especially if you don't want to be there (Image Yapoo's Market 58, YMD-58)

Consciously or otherwise we all have a list of rules when it comes to kink. For me, one of them is not to impose my preferences upon others who do not appreciate what the dark side has to offer. That means public play is out of the question. Why shock people with what they cannot possibly understand? Ask for other people’s acceptance also means accepting their preferences. Another big no concerns privacy. I’m curious about a lot of things but I do not want kinky fun to spill over – negatively – into the rest of my life. Both rules are part of why I shy away from humiliation. I honestly do not know what I feel about the whole thing anyway. Sweet and sour at the same time – as in the majority of my kink – most likely.

New Chastity Device Is Bigger On The Inside

To be honest, I usually do not blog on April 01. No-one takes you seriously. This time however, I feel compelled to write about something rather strange. I heard it through the grapevine, there is some alien - for lack of a better word - invention that makes men crave chastity. It goes on sale today at 2:47 local time. But be afraid. Be very afraid.

Why Does Being Whipped Hurt?

It is self-evident that being whipped hurts. But why? Pain is the body's way of saying something's bad for you and it wants you to end it.

Guess what? The Gringe is back. Of course he is isn’t after me, too benign. Evil only harms the ones you love. All options – including doing nothing – make it worse. On several occasions I woke up in the middle of the night, dreaming how I beat that asshole into a bloody pulp with a baseball bat. 

For some absurd reason – distraction perhaps – it made me wonder why whips hurt. Simple question, ain’t it? Well, it is not. Search for it and you find a long list mainly about why whips crack. Apparentely people are intrigued by the sound of it. Whether or not a whip hurts more than a plank is a different question altogether. I’ll save the nature of pain for another time. Let’s first try to find out why a whip hurts.

Femdom Is Not a Self Help Book

Too often femdom is portrayed as a second rate choice for women who can’t get a boyfriend, rather than acknowleding kink is part of your sexual identity. Swap BDSM for gay and nobody would dream to come up with such an idea. When it comes to kink, somehow it is fine.

 In one of today’s newsletters I found a link to a story about an ugly duck who takes a dominatrix class as the cure to a unhappy vanilla love life. As if. It is your usual harrowing tale, that is before you take into account the editoral freedom the author – a freelance writer and comedian – allows herself.

Future of Femdom Part I Fix4Sale

With Fifty Shades in one hand and Clips4Sale in the other, femdom is experiencing a pivotal moment. Make or break, I believe. Those of us with kink in our DNA, we face obliteration by means of commercialisation. Any fix, for a price.

A while ago I watched a series of interviews with dominatrixes. Rather than asking interesting or  - heaven forbid - tough questions, the interviewer was so overwhelmed in the presence of Her Graciousness, he couldn’t stop sucking up. Such a shame. There is so much more to ask. When you sit down with a domme, who allows you to pick her brain, make the best of it. Whatever they have to say, I am sure, is guaranteed to fill more than a couple of Fifty Shades volumes. So I turned it around. What questions would I like to ask?

Set An Example. No More Viagra. Tit For Tat.

A US Congress woman introduces a bill that makes it hard for men to obtain a prescription for Viagra. Simply to prove how difficult it is for women to get an abortion. Don't fight evil with evil.

There is more to happiness than meets the eye.

Even a smartass like me sometimes gets it wrong. I always believed Viagra was invented to make slaves suffer more. You know, just say the magic words: “open wide boi”  After which mistress pops you a pill and throws in a free chastity device. Funny thing then it is not the cage that grows on the slave. It is the blue miracle which takes away most of his autonomy. You know, that unruly and mostly indepedant part of every slave.

Why I Never Collected My Nobel Prize

Today a bit of fun fiction. Made a lot of progress on several important projects. Spring is just around the corner. Planning a seriously cool trip. Life is good. But why mind took me there? Soit. And let’s be honest: February 29 ought to be a holiday for everyone.

I'm tough as nails. That is until...

They say absence makes the heart grow fonder. Nope. Just like you can max out your credit cards, you can max out your heart. There is a limit to everything. Mistress knows I kind of like her a lot. Finding out that over time those feelings have increased is an insult. Don’t worry, I am very discreet and unobtrusive, but I simply cannot hide my happiness when I see her.

Germany's Next Top Model Owns a Slave

A contestant on Germany's Next Top Model explains she is a dominatrix. What follows is more than just sanctimonious as jury member and former model Heidi Klum humiliates herself for better ratings.

The eyes, the smile. Add honesty and strength of character. What is not to like. Let's ask Heidi.

Fifty Shades is kind of acceptable to the general public. That is, if you read it on your way to work. At home you obviously read something more upbeat like "War and Peace". So much for social acceptance of femdom. It ain't ever gonna happen.

Pain in Paradise

A lovely image of a mistress whipping her slave in a tropical setting, got me carried away. Even if in the end it is just a beautiful image. Or maybe, I'm just very ambitious when it comes to kink.

Unfortunately, no time to enjoy the scenary.

Perhaps living on an island has its advantages after all. And by that I mean Japan, not the Island of Camerloton.

Sherlock's Irene Adler Deserves Better

"Sherlock" clearly has its ups and down. Watching "Scandal in Belgrave" about a dominatrix for the second time, it felt as if life was playing a cosmic joke on me. Reasons include "1" but just one of them.

Irene Adler, artist impression by Imperfect Soul on Deviant Art (Source: Imperfect Soul)

Each and every femdom aficionado has fallen in love with Irene Adler. The Woman is a character on the BBC television show "Sherlock", and the detective's love interest. The episode where she first appears is "Scandal in Belgravia". It refers to one of the posher neighbourhoods of London. It also is the home address of professional dominatrix Irene Adler. Among her clientele is a member of the British royal family - why not? To spice things up, Ms. Adler has her hands on an incriminating video of her slavegirl, suffering happily.

Star Wars Inspired Floggers, Paddles & Canes

The new Star Wars movie comes with a lot of merchandise, including paddles, floggers and canes. There is clearly more to the Dark Side than cookies.

A longheld believe of mine is that sci fi fans and geeks are more into kink than the average person is. Why else has Fetlife an option that says "It's complicated"?

Make My Power Exchange Real. Not Just Riel

Power exchange comes in two ways: real and riel. If you want it all the time, you really cannot have that. It is a thing that is called civilisation. Still, short term real power exchange can be more frightening, intimidating and rewarding than long-term riel obedience. A personal account.

Each and everyone of us has wondered more than once why she or he is into kink. Yes, we love it. None of us can live without the animal attraction that is femdom. So what?

Perhaps a bit too much for me. Then again we all get what we wish for... I guess.

Dommes in hot, sexy leather and latex outfits are nice, but all they do is enhance the visual element of what you know is already there. Pain is weird and strangely also part of the game. Then there is the element of control. Most slaves have a submissive streak that comes out easily. Not me and my wandering mind. Life is a puzzle. What if? One problem solved and the next one comes along. The same thing with kink. Best not to overthink, but that is easier said than done. You cannot ignore an essential part of who you are. Sometimes the why pops up.

Hearts For Sale - Beautiful Comic by Miyuli

Good thing there are two "1's" in 11. That way I can publish two posts for Valentine's Day. This comic by artist Miyuli is the most beautiful one, I came across in a long time. It reminds me of Studio Ghibli. I also think it would make an ideal Valentine's Day present.

I don't often recommend things, but this time, I do. Read it please

http://miyuli.tumblr.com/post/138350862154/this-is-a-little-anniversary-illustration-for-my

A Different Way to Celebrate Valentine's Day

Commerce rules Valentine's Day. Loving gestures and gifts are compulsory. Genuine feelings are not. How about writing her one last letter, just in case you don't make it back from fearsome faraway land?

We all know Romeo and Julia were amateurs compared to grandma & grandpa

Valentine’s Day is one of those rare occasions where even mistress cannot win. No one beats the commercial classes. The Dutch Automobile Association is running an add right now where it encourages you to sign up, so you can be with the one you love on Valentine’s Day. Commercial interests high-jacked February 14. Ordinary guys long ago learned, they loose either way. If she says we’re not gonna do anything for Valentine’s Day this year, don’t fall for it. What if she does? Doomed if you do and doomed if you don’t. As for the most romantic day of year, some say Valentine’s Day is, better don’t ever get married any year.

Dungeon Delusions: To Serve is to be Far Away From Her

If not being with your mistress is your idea of what true servitude is all about, have fun. Just make sure your slavecave has a little bit of class.

Bad to the bone might not be the most apt sign above the cage of your selfconfessed solitary confinement. Then again whose happiness we're talking about anyway?

I’m dead against not sleeping in the same bed as the woman I love, and yes that includes mistress. For whatever reason some slaves believe, the more distance you put between mistress and yourself, the deeper the devotion. Digg a tunnel to China! Just make sure you do not come up on the other side, only to discover there are several miles of ocean above you. Blub blub.

Guilty by the Numbers? Beyond the Judgement of Solomon

Jian Ghomeshi, Bill Cosby and now New Year’s Eve in Cologne. Sometimes women do bad things, but mostly it is us men. The Judgement of Solomon obviously doesn not work here. But does character?

If his ass turns red after 11 strokes, he must be guilty. Of what?
Challenging her. Mistress is always right even if she is not. Q.E.D.

Whether you like it or not – consensual BDSM can blur the lines. But for the most part it is straight forward. No means no. Always. Forever. That is why it is called no. Still that does not help.

As I mentioned before, indignation reached peak political correctness in the case of Jian Ghomeshi. The number of female accusers was so overwhelming, he simply must have done it. Most likely. I think. But that is not the same as justice, let alone lock up a predator. Justice needs to prevail for many reasons, making sure a predator no longer roams the streets is one of the most important.

So what does it tell us numerous people come forward, but only after the first does. Apart from the fact that it is difficult to do so, not too much. I’ve been thinking about it a lot. Enter character, aka previous accusations.

Not Big On Begging (Dommes)

Beneficium accipere libertatem est vendere

It does not matter whether a woman dresses up her need for stuff in a nice post or begs for it outright. For some reason, it makes their “natural” dominance hard to swallow.

Prêt-à-porter is so 2015. Time to move on to haute couture girl.

Yes, a woman who receives a prezzy from the man who loves her, that is nice. I’m guilty too and can only hope my guilt increases exponentially over time. But to brag about your dominance, while at the same time beg your devotees. Now there is something wrong with that for me.

More and more women, who enjoy playing the dominant role in femdom games, beg for stuff. The most outlandish ones emphasize the need for slaves to serve with their wallets exclusively. Not only does that attitude make you wonder about the very nature of servitude. It also ask the question whether dominance comes naturally or can be bought whenever the price is right.

Why Kink No Longer Equals Crazy

Once kinky folk were considered mentally ill, because a clinical manual said so. It took a long fight to get rid of that classification.

The DSM is a scary big book, explaining just how crazy you are. It does not matter whether you are really mad or not. If the big book says you are crazy, you are. Until its latest edition BDSM was considered a mental illness. How that affects you, depends on where you live and what your situation is.

A Painful Weather Forecast

A radio DJ who wants to spice up his weather forecast and a cruel suggestion from a sadistic girl.

This is how a taser looked like before they invented electricity

Sometimes sadism is right under your nose. The weather forecast is the most boring part of the news, isn't it? One radio station is trying to spice up things a bit. Not by announcing it's raining men. The DJ invites readers to submit challenges for him while he is reading the weather forecast.

Luxury Handbags. A Better Investment than the Stock Market?

I'm gonna share a secret with you. Just make sure mistress never finds out. The Hermès Birkin handbag has a better long-term return than the S&P 500. Still it is an ugly bag.

"The whole point was to take an icon of consumerism and change it, which is like blasphemy."
Make it idiot proof and somebody will make a better idiot. (Image: The Telegraph)

For the new year I decided to improve the quality of my blog. I began writing about serious stuff like Beauty & The Beast. There are many similiarities with Fifty Shades. Sometimes I feel life is one big cosmic joke. When I finished the post, I discovered the prince was eleven years old when the spell was cast.

Over years I have taken a stance against findom and overpriced luxury items - experiences are a much better investment - only to find out I am wrong. So very wrong.

Safe in Her Arms: Submission Comes in Many Ways

A 1960’s image of a man asleep in the arms of a woman. Happy where he belongs. Me, I not only see love but also his complete surrender to her. She is the woman you love and also your mistress. Today is about submission without pain.

Her hand gently pulls him closer. He remains vast asleep as she plant a gentle kiss on his forehead. Today is for love. Tomorrow is for suffering. (Image by Coby Whitmore)

Let’s keep it simple. She is my mistress and I am her slave. It is part of who we are. Not necessesarily why we are together though. If you can make a relationship work with an extra layer of complexity, it only adds to its beauty. It becomes a source of joy. I was thinking of that as I discovered this image. I love it.

Fifty Shades is Beauty & The Beast All Over

"...for who could ever learn to love a beast?"

A while ago I discover this beautiful image by artist Andrew Tarusov. Belle in full control of her Beast. Disney wouldn’t approve but it is clearly femdom related. Then all of a sudden it hit me. Beauty & the Beast is exactly the same as Fifty Shades. Think about it.

She will set him free – from his current form. Despite his grumpiness  he follows her lead. I do not understand why The Beast doesn’t look happier. He should, Belle is.(Image: Disney pin-up princess by Andrew Tarusov)

Even the most diehard Fifty Shades fan is disappointed by how the story ends. Sadist abuses innocent young girl. Young girl blossoms into a woman despite everything and domesticates wealthy sadist. In the end it didn’t turn out to be his fault at all. It was his childhood.

Horror-Silvesternacht: 1000 Men Assault 100 Women

Last year the BDSM community almost universally condemned Jian Ghaneshi before he was charged. The same thing happened with Bill Cosby, who was finally charged recently. On New Year's Eve 100 women were assaulted. You probably haven't heard about it.

Not nearly as festive as it looks. (Image Marie Claire)

The Court of Popular Opinion always fails
Who needs due process if the number of accusers is high enough? If that many women come forward he must have done it. My writing discussed how the case would influence the general public’s view on BDSM. I was almost excommunicated from the kink community for not following the party line. Those who didn’t toe the line, all received likes from the femdom police on their Fetlife account.

Essence of Femdom: Wonderful Goddess in Red

"Hot babe in sexy outfit" That is how the vanilla world describes femdom. What else can you do if you cannot conceive the image symbolizes a whole world behind it. The dark side runs much deeper than just hot babes in sexy outfits. For the second time in my life I was flabberghasted by the image of a woman. A dame oozing strength and dominance, without a hint of leather or rubber.

Nope it wasn't this image. So impressed, I forgot to bookmark (Image source NA)

Most visitors probably end up here, in search of hardcore stuff. Don't worry, one day. Femdom is much more than that. A couple of days ago I saw a beautiful image of a domme radiating nothing but raw power. Her strength was palpable just by looking at your screen. She had an intimidating aura around her. Not menacing, just a heads up with a touch of fear. Promise or threat? It depends. Bloody gorgeous and highly erotic too. Pardon my language.

Eleven things about 2015

My first post of 2015 was a list of kinky New Year’s resolutions – kinda tongue in cheek. It received a large number of hits that continued all through the year.  It surprised me. Most people have no clue who Dutch is. On top of that it is pretty personal.

It is exactly what it looks like.

New Year’s resolutions can be a good thing, even if you break them on day one. They help you reflect on what matters whatever caught your attention. Below 11 things about 2015.

Love and femdom make strange bedfellows
Desire is a sadist par excellence. People in femdom-oriented relationship confuse lust for love more often than their vanilla peers. Quite frequently things don’t work out and I read quite a few blogpost dealing with just that.

What a Way to Drink Goddess' Champagne

A slave can only hope. A very special treat from mistress on New Year's eve? After all, I've been a good boy all year. Flowing from mistress beautiful curves. Me, greedy. So very greedy.

The stuff dreams are made of. Angel dust. Wouldn't spill a single drop. An overwhelming sensual treat. You can never be too greedy. Or have enough bottles of champagne. Eleven is the perfect number for that. Absolute devotion. The impossible dream. (Image: Philipp Marfurt Photography I assume)

Dreaming with my eyes wide open. I see, hear, feel taste and smell everyting. How can this not be real? "Can I help you clean up, mistress? Please... I'll do anything you want. Forever. I live to serve. Please, please mistress. Very please?"

Down the rabbit hole I go. Again, always. Neverending. Guess I never stopped in the first place. It happens to all of us. Intoxicated, but not by the mighty champagne.

Happy New Year!