Twist 'n' Shout - Toilet Paper Edition

Public service announcement from the country that brought you Yapoo, the human furniture. 

When mistress' best use for you as her slave is that of a human toilet paper holder, you either need to upgrade your slave skills or your mistress.

Whether you like it or not, the 50/50 happiness rule also applies to femdom even if you pride yourself on being the most submissive creature on the planet. In the end, your suffering and devotion must have positive meaning.

Enter the realm of boredom. Mistress may love it to dress you up as a prop and discard you, but if your only thought - even with nipple clamps on - is one of boredom, the game is up.

Suffering, submission, selflessness and devotion are all emotions that can bring about happiness, one way or another. Boredom is the absence and opposite of emotion, positive or negative. The only lesson it teaches you is to move on sooner next time.

Don't ask me about the difference between boredom and bondage, it's a question I cannot answer. The best I can do is to explain that to me boredom equals loneliness while bondage symbolizes two people, mistress and slave both surrendering part of who they are in a most complicated manner. If all of this confuses you, no worries, it's cocktails by the beach time for uncollared slaves like me. Loving it.

It's just that today's image resonates with me for two reasons. Those few precious seconds every single day when you are allowed to serve must hurt like hell. Usually that's part of the plan. It's also boring as hell, something even the femdom police frowns upon. Time to up your game.

Chess and Femdom. Free Irony Included

these days I prefer the game of go.

In chess it is the woman who wears the crown, or in this case lipstick.

Apparently I have a Flickr account and last week somebody subscribed to my "feed." Thank you, I guess. It reminded me of the good old days on Tumblr where people like you and me shared chess images of the queen. Only we understood what that images stood for. In case you're not a chess player, the queen is the most powerful piece. On the other hand the king is the most important one. The goal of chess is to capture the king.

Juicy Kink - As in Creative

In 2016, The New York Times wrote a beautiful profile about Mollena Williams-Haas and Friedrich Haas, a kinky couple open about their preferences.

Unknowingly the main image is non-conventional, at least according to the BDSM police.
(image: The New York Times)

All kinky, part of the time - and nobody will ever find out. Wouldn't it be great to live my life, kinky and all, out in the open? Bad idea for most of us. Too many lives have been destroyed once the "respectable ones" found out so I keep my mouth shut.

Left-leaning and liberal, or perhaps circulation numbers, is the reason the New York Times features stories at regular intervals about BDSM. One of my all-time favourites is the article about a female submissive and her male dom falling in love. And no, it's not because I'm a sucker for love. 

Why Dutch Slaves Know Best

Extra, extra, read all about it!

"Please, tell me more!"

My various posts discussing kink on TV may have tricked you into believing I'm exempted from cleaning HER dungeon with a toothbrush. Don't worry, it's more of a big picture thing, closely aligned with my rather unique #NeverNormal spider senses.

By now, you've figured out we do things differently over here in Flatland. From personal experience I know there is a small, select group of foreign dommes who prefer to look for exquisite premium slaves in Holland. In case you're wondering, don't. Eleven out of 11 dutch dommes agree: screw the tulips jaba jaba etjabara.

End Of The Line For A Series Of Bad Choices?

A fascinating dynamic, that's for sure.
 

What if the husband is the man standing and he hired the other man to grovel for him?
From the Simpsons season 19, episode 48:
Burns: Look what you've reduced me to.
(Snaps fingers).
Smithers: Please!

Curious is my middle name. The photo above featured frequently in my Tumblr feed. Most people into femdom said it was hot. Real life misery never is.

According to Reddit, the caption reads: "a man begging for his wife's forgiveness inside Divorce Court. Chicago, 1948." Nobody really knows what's going on, but given the year it probably was the conclusion to years of suffering.

Fifty Shades of NIMBY

A feud between neighbours, with a twist. 

Remember the story of mistress Evilyne a couple of years ago and how she was forced to shut down her dungeon because the neighbours objected? The New York Times has a similar tale about Ms. Taillor and her 'kink collective'. Both stories feature neighbours scared of BDSM freaks running around the neighbourhood. Like I always say: "Fifty Shades of Acceptance? Never!

Hey, it's still the Grey Lady, image found on Ms. Taillor's website.

Ms. Miller, a longtime Brooklyn resident doesn't like having a "kink collective" next door. It's all about "trust and safety" and "questionable people" that made her Spidey senses tingle. How's that for kink-shaming? [1]

Cartoonish instincts are not enough to get those around her to act so she quotes anonymous neighbours after which she no doubt felt the obligation to act. "When she asked around, neighbors told her that Ms. Taillor [the dominatrix] was up to no good."

“Unless you have a kid in a cage, I don’t care.”

A woman who works as a cable tech- and the editor highlighting a single anecdote, that of a guy in a cage.

"Oh my, why did the Huffpost editor decide to pick this particular story for an illustration?"

Just a quick one today, one that proves my theory of "never normal" when it comes to vanilla people accepting kink. It ain't ever gonna happen.

Freaks sell, that wisdom is older than the invention of Gutenberg's printing press, ca 1439. Printing itself by then already existed for hundreds of years, just to remind you.

Lift Him Higher - What an Image

Mistress and Slave in Perfect Harmony - Free Minor Flaws Included.

A woman holding the head of her slave in the palm of her hands. One of the strongest femdom pictures I've seen in a long time.

People, not props are kink's secret super power. Q.E.D.

In another realm it could easily be a woman lifting high the head of the man she loves. Perhaps the image was taking, seconds after he tied her shoelaces. This picture, however, leaves no doubt. It's all about mistress and slave. And boy, are they happy. You can tell even without their faces. Found this image on Tumblr in it's dying days and my fascination for it is on full repeat.

It's one of the most powerful femdom images I've come across in quite a while. Despite that I cannot explain exactly why or what. The picture suggests some deep, intimate connection that allow mistress and slave to drift away from mainstream conventions. Then again, who cares? Connection between lovers is perhaps the biggest prizes in life, any which way.

What Tumblr Taught Me

 

Now that Tumblr has officially assumed the title "Titanic of social media", Twitter vainly celebrates and I write a personal eulogy.

If there is a single lesson the be learned it is this: everybody - no exception - prefers pictures over text, most of them being of an erotic nature. Disclaimer: one person's erotic appeals can very well be another one's turn of. Still 'erotic' is a broad term.

"Yes My Love and mistress"

A woman's heart is priceless. Her whip is a mere prop.

Alright, Valentine's Day. Short post, not because I have a date tonight, but because the message is clear and concise.

Life is simple, love rules. And, no, things don't get complicated when people confuse lust for love. In the past my writing has explored how to maintain a healthy balance between man loves woman and slave obeys mistress. It's hard.

Kinky stuff is nice, something I wouldn't want to live without. The woman I love, however, is someone whom I cannot live without, even though I'm currently single.

If I ever fall in love again, and she is as much into femdom as I am, I reserve the right to address her as "my Love and mistress" whenever it's appropriate to address her as mistress. Don't have to, but I can, whether it is just the two of us or with other people around. It's something that is non-negotiable and my love and mistress cannot force me to address her like that. Other than that I'm pretty flexible.

If you don't get it, just listen to Nina Simone explaining how "he needs me." Just make sure you listen all throughout the end. (click image to listen on Youtube).

Foot Fetishists Save the Day and Exhonorate Politician

These are the feet of Sydney Leather. It is also Sydney Leather's picture.

Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez is a newly elected US Congress woman. Last week a crudely edited video of her dancing in college surfaced, intended to shame her. It backfired. This morning, reading the papers, Quartz Daily News reported how a fake nude pic of her was debunked by foot fetishists. Users cross-referenced the image with other photos of the congresswoman’s feet.

Noor Inayat Khan: The Unbreakable Spy Princess

For once Dutch bows his head to true female supremacy.

Pay attention please, this is what elite truly looks like.
Or as Sherlock says: "that woman." (Image BBC)

Continuing from yesterday, today the story of an unflinching heroine who bought herself a one way ticket to Nazi hell. Let's get ready to rumble: the Enchantress of Number vs. The Spy Princess. If you think this is an episode of The Voice Knock-Out, sorry.

The Bank of England is deciding which scientist to put on the new £50 note. Why does it have to be a scientist? Only the Bank of Brexit's Canadian boss can tell you. All in favour of scientist Ada Lovelace, my mind was made up until I read about Noor Inayat Khan.

The Enchantress of Number: Ada Lovelace

Christmas 2018 promises to be uneventful. Now that's why I call a proper present from Santa. When my angel-shaped Christmas ornament fell to pieces, I had a brief Snape moment. “After all this time?” “Always.” I'd rather talk about two women who deserve to grace Britain's new £50 note. Happy Christmas everyone.

Ada Lovelace timetraveling, calculating the number pi. Sorry, Doctor Who still doesn't exist. Just like Christmas it's what you make of it. (Image 1843 Magazine)

Me so Mistress Supreme bla bla bla. Don't make me laugh. It's a bit like referring to yourself as a stable genius. If people call you "The Enchantress of Number", you've got my instant attention. Now that's what I call a honorary title, so who is she?

When the Bank of England decided to put a scientist on the new £50 note, I knew it had to be Ada Lovelace. Meanwhile, the words "Bank of England" suddenly made me wonder why they call it Brexit. Successful scientists inevitably claim to stand on the shoulders of giants, but what if you an original one? Mrs. Lovelace is exactly that. Her accomplishments can easily be compared to for instance Eratosthenes, a Greek scholar of the third century BCE, who very accurately calculated the circumference of the earth. (He was of by a mere 0.16%, feel free to do a little jaw dropping.)

Banks are the World's Most Succesful Findoms

Nobody wants big, bad banks to police our sex lives.

Irony rules. In a first for me I wrote Your rather than your. It's an accurate reflection of how I feel in the fight of beautiful BDSM vs bad, bad bankers. (Image: Tumblr/unknown, edited)

My previous post on Fetlife was a bit harsh, I agree. Still, Fetlife has little to offer because of its static nature. Just like the moon waxes and wanes, so do our desires, but you cannot run an adult community solely on people who post just that fact over and over again. On top of it, there are major privacy concerns handing out your phone number to an adult entertainment company.

Basic Fetlife is free, but bills still have to be paid. Therein lies one major problem. You can say what you like about former President Obama, but the moniker No Drama Obama was spot on. Unfortunately no drama is not always a good thing. There was exactly zero drama when it came to bankers being held responsible for the credit crisis that started in 2008. The exact number of them going to jail is zero. Drama or no drama, history will repeat itself. Soon, I guess.

Woman Offered as Sex Slave on Kinky Website - Without Her Consent

"Hello, we come all the way from Japan.
Is this the address for the [volunteer] male sex slave?" You wish! (credits: unknown)

Apart from Fetlife there are some local kink websites. Two of them over here in Holland are Kinkytijd.nl and Chattijd.nl. In all fairness, I never heard of them.

In 2013 a woman discovered that somebody created a profile of her, including name address, age and occupation on the website Kinkytijd (kinky time). The profile also included a picture of her. She had no clue who was responsible and emailed the website, requesting that her profile was removed. She also asked for the IP address of the person who created the fake profile. Kinkytijd removed her profile, but refused to hand over the IP address. The couple hired a lawyer to no effect. Meanwhile another profile was created and random strangers kept on showing up at her door.

The victim contacted Peter R. de Vries, a well-known Dutch crime reporter, who finally discovered the identity of her stalker. It turned out to be her brother-in-law who claimed he was hearing voices in his head. He couldn't explained what drove him to do this.

What struck me most is that it took almost five years for this nightmare to end. It also must have been an absolute horror for the woman to have random strangers show up at her door, looking for a sex slave. Perhaps not exactly 'random' strangers, everyone in their right mind knows that nobody publishes their home address on dating websites, kinky or otherwise. People have moved for less.

Fetlife is Dead

And so are you, if you give them your phone number.

Regrets come in all shapes and sizes. This might not be one of them. What a domme!

Never cared much for Fetlife. Last login was when Mr. Obama was President of the United States. I exactly have one connection, some lonely [dominant] lady who bombards random strangers with friend requests. Don't know why. It also makes her feed terribly uninteresting. "Lady Bomber is now friends with someone."As a smart slave myself , I saw that one coming.

"I also love the disdain her adult daughter shows me."

Consent is boring, especially if you're horny. Really? Grown-up stuff is for grown-ups. By design. Some people believe they are free to choose.

"So Gross" To each his own (Image Credits: Unknown)

Life's all about memories. And lunch. And sushi in Holland. Personally I prefer a burger, extra cheese please. One particular devastating Sunday lunch, I remember how slaveboy, a dad himself, got over-excited and started dreaming out loud about mistress teaming up with her daughter as soon as the little girl was of age. Him being the happy recipient of their future inter-generational double dominance of course.

In her most predictable moment ever - I have great taste, or, more likely, I'm the luckiest fellow on earth - Mom casually remarked how her daughter makes her own choices. It's not what she said, it's how she said it. Like asking for a napkin. Phenomenal and beyond.

Rubber Beauty Masks ca. 1921

Those were the days.

In our series “blog about stuff you found Tumblr before it’s gone”, Dutch’ first ever quiz. Be smart and don’t bother. Just scroll down for the answer.

Here is your question. Is the image above:

a)    a screenshot from the next Quentin Tarentino movie? (The answer is no because the director prefers women’s feet.)

or

b)    an advertisement for 1920’s women’s facial masks? (That’s what it says on Tumblr. Personally I think it is a dream come true and the Secret Society of Sadistic Secretaries does exist after all.)

Now for the anwer:

If you chose a), please go back to school and learn how to read properly (alternatively, stop looking at her feet).

On the other hand, if you choose b), congratulations. It’s an 1921 image of rubber beauty masks, worn to remove wrinkles and blemishes.

Yes, I know, hard to believe. Good old days, bla bla. Still it’s odd, no matter how often you look at it.

End of an Era. Tumblr to Ban Porn

Citing Apple's aversion to pornography, Tumblr from December 17 on, will delete all porn. Not only will that probably be the end of the photo sharing service, it also show just how influential tech and finance companies are.

I try to keep it tasteful. At least some of the time.

Google safe search is laughable. When it comes to adult images, it has none. A few years back Google also wanted to close down the adult section of Blogger. That would have meant bye bye 11Dutch.

Most people know what the glass ceiling is, but have you ever heard of the glass cliff? Basically it's where a woman is appointed CEO of a distressed company, one that is beyond salvation. In 2012 Marissa Mayer left Google to become CEO of Yahoo, a company of which nobody understood why it was still out there. About a year later Mayer acquired Tumblr for 1.1 billion, hoping it might turn around the parent company. It was considered a flagship acquisition, Mayer was later heavily critised for it. Four years on, Tumblr is part of a package of Yahoo core internet businesses that is being sold to Verizon. By then the micro blogging site is already in terminal decline.

Fight Against Slavery Group Advertises for Unpaid Internship

Basically such a headline tells you everything that is wrong with the modern world. I'm  wondering if "Fight Against Slavery Group Advertises for Unpaid Internship" was a publicity stunt. If it was, they clearly didn't follow up on it. Why else would you look for an unpaid internship rather than search for a volunteer?

Today, December 02, is International Day for the Abolition of Slavery. Last year I discussed "My family's Slave", a story written by Alex Tizón about Mrs. Pulido, his family's house slave. During the year I bookmark articles and on December second I weave them together. This year a selection of stories dealing with modern day slavery in various forms, such as forced marriage and forced labour. Moms are the world's natural goddesses. In one particular depressing read however a mother betrays her daughter by marrying him off to a far flung relative in Pakistan.

Writer's block is not really my thing. Despite that, it is sad to see just how easy - technically that is - it was to write this post.

Tied Rocks

Beauty comes to us in intricate ways

Bondage can be art. Karen Okino Butzbach and her mother Shizu Okino create 'tied rocks', using traditional Japanese knotting techniques. Mother and daughter explain on their website how:

"We use traditional Japanese basket making techniques to transform rocks into art – art that invites quiet contemplation, peace and serenity.

We use rattan or cane to wrap and tie the rocks with ornamental knots used in Japanese ikebana basketry. The stones are individually selected for shape, color and pattern. The knots are selected to complement the size and shape of the stone. The result is a fanciful, decorative piece that, we believe, projects a sense of peacefulness and tranquility."

Their creations are sold at the Asian Art Museum in San Francisco and several gift shops in the San Francisco Bay Area and Los Angeles. If you live in the area and wonder what to buy for the mistress who has it all, why not a tied rock?

Just one thing. I'm itching to turn them over and see how the backs are done, aren't you?

Men Who Are Afraid of Dominant Women

Ask yourself, what are you really looking for in a dominant woman?

From before I threw out my bucket list, German pro-domme lady Pascal. Because she has that enigmatic quality. Her smile doesn't hurt either.

One thing that has always surprised me is just how young the average pro-domme is. Despite the fact that too many life stylers in 'our community' rage against pro-dommes - while demanding 'tribute' before that first, initial contact - the dislike is disgusting. Never understood.

Modern Clickbait Classics: Female Police Officer Stuffs Her Panties in His Face

Come for the clickbait, stay for the crap journalism.

Come on, it's a story about clickbait. What'd you expect? (Image Daily Mail)

The other day somebody sent me a link to an article about a female cop who stuffed her panties in the face of a fellow male officer. No doubt a dream come true for many, but to me it sounds boring. A quality clickbait newspaper such as Britain's Daily Mail can do better I thought. Below are 11 random 2018 Mail Online stories dealing with kink, femdom, fetish and BDSM one way or another. Not 100 percent accidental of course, I ingored the worst of the worst. Please excuse me for not reading each and every story.

"Mistress, I Love Everything About Your Outfit and Toys"

Mistress Alina's smile is definitely 10/10. Very impressive, even, if you, like me, live in a 11/10 smileverse. (Image: Tumblr)

Life is all about the three I's: me, myself and I. Not even Steven Jobs could change that. The other day I ran into a post on Tumblr with this caption:

"Mistress, I love everything about you - your charming and dangerous smile, your beautiful and oh so stinging whip, your boots that I long to kiss, and the very nice bench where you will beat me black and blue"

The guy who wrote it never realised what he just said. It's kind of silly and made me laugh out loud. I'm all for women born with a smile on their face, so yes, I'll give him that. Mistress Alina's smile is clearly intoxicating. Unfortunately our boy is getting a little over-excited when he ponders just how "dangerous" her smile is. Next you know it is all about whips, boots 'n' benches and "me". So funny.

Mistress Sidonia's Champagne Gag

Gags and mistress' champagne go surprisingly well together in a deliciously devious and highly creative English Mansion video clip.

Happy mistress, happy slave. Femdom at its finest at the crossroads of creativity and wickedness.

It's always risky to confess your love of gags, even if you need them purely for practical reasons. People immediately begin whispering just how suspicious it is, Dutch writing posts featuring images of gagged female submissives, even when it's appropriate writing an article on quack science and women wearing gags. Gags also look better on female submissives. And no I'm no closet male dom, it's just that we men are the uglier sex, which also means we are the lucky ones.

Gagging On It. Scientists Who Love Female Submissives

The sweet smell of submission, euh science.

"Rescue yourself" [from the evil scientist.]" Don't wait for Prince Charming to [remove your gag and] kiss you", Keira Knightly says.

Yes, it's science time again. From the producers, ahum researchers, who brought you the instant classic "Empathy in female submissive BDSM practitioners", comes a new study. This one is so impressive it's open access. Just read that title:

"Embodiment and Humiliation Moderation of Neural Responses to Others' Suffering in Female Submissive BDSM Practitioners"

Don't fall for my sarcasm, open access means no grown-up science journal is interested. Makes sense because experts in the field basically think it's crap. They phrased it slightly different, but that's how they explain it to you and me.

Food Dominatrix

Crème brûlée will never be the same again.

Is there a difference between torturing lost souls and inflicting pain on the fruits of nature? Not if you are a fooddomme who also loves femdom.

She looks so mean. Almost as if she cares and tries to warn millenials about the dangers of advocados.

Domme by day, foodie by night and finally coming out on Comedy Central. Where else? D'oh! If you enjoy torturing men, why not extend the fun to the kitchen and make your vegetables suffer before you boil them alive. Unless you prefer to stir-fry them of course that is. Don't worry, vegetables don't have legs - and if they did - your inner sadist would have chopped their limpings off long before you sentenced the tiny little helpless vegetarians to such an excruciating death. By the way, don't forget the hot sauce, it adds that little extra bit of umpf.

Magic Butt Plugs: Quack Medicine

After years of being fascinated with Dr. Young's advertisement, I finally decided to look it up. Quite a feat for an ad that is over a hundred years old. Guess I'm not the only one, it has it's own Wikipedia page.

Doctor Who: Voluntary Enslavement is the Best. Free the Ood!

In order to celebrate the arrival of the Thirteenth Doctor on television tonight, the BBC calls it series eleven [i] of Doctor Who a few notes on the Ood, an alien race that is submissive, or so it seems.



The really exciting news is that Luther returns later this year. "It's good to be back in London, back in the coat," Idris Elba tweeted in January. As an added bonus Alice will be there too! Let’s be honest we needed a bit of good news after the way BBC’s “prestige” drama Bodyguard bombed. [ii]  Yep watching terrible television is what happens when you have too much time on your hands because you don’t have to clean the dungeon with a toothbrush.

What's on a Man's Mind

Yes, you were thinking the same thing I was, when you just saw this image. We're both wrong. The image belongs to an article discussing buying a new kitchen. I found it in today's (Dutch) newspaper. No need to run it through Google translate, same old, same old. She decides. Took him a while to realise. Odd choice for an image though.

Reduced Empathy – Scientists Looking for Glory

In today’s fake news: [i] researchers in China ‘discover’ female subs, but not necessarily male ones, suffer from reduced empathy. The research looks flawed at best. Now imagine you are a submissive woman, getting a divorce. The story of the perils researching the BDSM community, motivated solely by “scientists’” quest for glory and fame.

Lady Samantha, German pro-domme with a degree in psychology.

Femdom Resource [ii] dug up an interesting piece of research. Unfortunately the result of all that science is not so benign. It's outcome was popularized for the masses (people like you and me) in Psypost's attempt to clickbait its readers. That's where doubtful science turned nasty. No other way to explain how the first bullet point from the Science Direct abstract:

"Involving in BDSM relationships and practices did not necessarily result in weaken empathy abilities."

magically turns into this headline:

"Female submissives have reduced empathy to others’ suffering, study on BDSM finds"

Ghomeshi and Kavanaugh: Bread and Circusses

A few days ago Jian Ghomeshi wrote an essay for The New York Review of Books called Reflections from a Hashtag. The backlash makes little sense, especially compared to the accusations against judge Kavanaugh.

"Don't speak"

In 2014 Mr. Ghomeshi, a Canadian radio host, was accused of having rough, at times non-consensual sex with several women. CBC, his employer, subsequently fired him. At his 2016 trial he was acquitted. A second one was cancelled after he reached an agreement with a fourth accuser. There was no admission of guilt.

I found out about the story because Quartz, a business publication, defended his right to have non-traditional sex. Based on the article, I agreed. Once more details surfaced, it no longer was about having an alternative sexual preference, but whether or not Mr. Ghomeshi abused these women. All in all, 19 came forward.

The Bride Who Makes FindomZillas Look Good

Don't you feel being charged to attend a wedding is like being cheated? Love is priceless, so why put a price on friendship?

"How sweet it is to be loved by you"

Dutch here. Dear all, I'm happy to announce mistress and I are going to get married. We've been together from the age of 14. To be honest, it was long overdue. We saved up about EUR 15.000 for our wedding, so that's kind of OK. However after consulting a leading psychic we learned that having a destination wedding is necessary for our cosmic energy rays or whatever to align properly. Celestial nonsense and so on. It's why we choose the beautiful island of Aruba for the ceremony. Unfortunately it also comes with a sticker price of EUR 60.000. Because of that every guest has to pay up. The price is EUR 1.500 or else no entry to our wedding. Please note your contribution does not include transport and accommodation while on the island. Please send your cheques ASAP.

Too Much Information

There is limited acceptance at best of people who enjoy BDSM and that will probably never change. All the more reason to be vigilant about your privacy, especially if you write a high profile book.

Chilling after a long day at the office, just don't tell anyone.

There is a new book out on Donald Trump. Yes, another one. Surprisingly it got less attention than other recent Trump bashings. In "Everything Trump Touches Dies" former GOP strategist Rick Wilson shares his unfiltered opinion about the people that work for the 45th President of the United States thinly disguised as an analysis of everything that's wrong.

Don't worry, this blog is not about politics, it's about kink. Reading the book I found myself wondering just how much information we divulge by accident.

"It must be the broad masochistic streak among lobbyists that keeps legions of dominatrices in business in Washington, DC." [p. 38]