Selling Chastity

PhD pitfall meets porn alchemist

Remember how waterboarding was suddenly hot in 'our community'? Bucket challenge anyone? Sadly Locktober is here to stay. Blame the English language. Plus a lot of femdom minions [f/m].

There is this Netflix show where nasty real estate brokers try to outdo each other in selling the California sunset. Imagine you don't have sex for a whole month after which you have to rate the female brokers on a scale from one to ten. Eleven you say? Of course you do. Now turn it around and after an exhaustive month of the best sex of your life with anyone you can dream of - except Ross from Friends of course - how do you rate these women? Five out of ten? Three? Couldn't care less?

Summer's Over

Happy autumn everyone

Now that's what I call a lazy summer.

Think of your Love and mistress. If the imagine in your mind is not full colour, radiant, shiny and sunny, there's something wrong.

Guess the warm days are over. Believe it or not but Dutch owns a bike. Yes an actual one, one with two wheels. Yes two, not 11. And I'm not afraid to use my bicycle. Sunday I went shopping on my bike for winter clothes. Guess what? The internet has reduced old-school brick-and-mortar shops to convenience stores. You only go there when you forgot something and need it now. For everything else there's the internet. Who doesn't buy their cool power tools online these days? [1]

Anyway, I went to buy gloves, after all winter is coming. Later that day I did some gardening. Looking at the last flowers, I was thinking of how the summer of 2022 started. Don't get me wrong, I love how the seasons change but summer remains my favourite. Especially the ones without Covid-19 lock downs. Some of you may find that odd given my love of bondage. How to explain? Safe, sane and consensual perhaps?

Rote Learning

Tough nut to crack?

It's day nine of the ultimate femdom Oktober Fest. The original one takes place in Germany and deals with drinking lots of beer. Suddenly I'm thinking of my Japan trip and getting lost in a Tokyo Beergarten where Japanese women decked out as German dirndls serving customers beer. Thinking back that gets funnier every single time.

The End of [Real World] Female Supremacy

What have you done for your minions today?

A zealot is a zealot, no matter the texts they worship, whether it is economics or religion. They're all evil.

 Like many I'm horrified by what's happening in the UK. Absolutely love the country and it hurts me to see Great Britain committing economic suicide in slow motion. Or perhaps it's homicide on the poor and powerless. All I know is that the British deserve better.

Femdom Carnival

The streets of San Francisco are dangerous

Part of the joys of femdom is sometimes the intense experience. The images below are probably taken in some San Francisco street parade. Public play is not for me. What I love about them is how joyful these random women are whey add to the misery of the random guy tied to the lamp post.

There is no hesitation, just delight when they hit the jackpot. They laugh, they smile, so much joy when they inflict pain upon cowboy Bebob. No hesitation, so authentic. How gorgeous is that? One lovely lady grabs the guy by the shoulders before kicking him in the balls. As the guy screams out in pain, she looks at him, appreciating her work. It all comes naturally. Others have more of a 'why not?' approach. And why not, it's fun. After all, this dude let himself being tied up. Don't blame the lamp post for his misery.

The Sadness of Femdom

Femdom is all about femmes and boys. That's just the way it is. Not that I would want it any other way, remember mistress Robot. Yesterday I wrote about the perceived perils of porn.

With Locktober lurking around the corner, yes it's that time of year already, no sex seems more and more attractive. But only if it's voluntary. The other day I read a story about a couple who started out as mistress and slave. Before they knew two hard-hitters teamed up: Gaia and Cupid. Feelings interfered and they became lovers. Now what?

Porn is dangerous. It makes men crave picture perfect women, like the ones they see when they watch online porn. Not that anybody asks what makes a woman perfect. And yes there is only answer. Because she is her. And of course your perfect woman is not mine. But they all are.

Twitter Femdom Is Fake

It's a sin [science/porn]

"The Disney Channel teaches you that you should hate your stepmother, Pornhub teaches you that you should make love to her." [from the comments]  

porn intimacy, femdom style

I vividly remember my first porn magazine. Around ten years old and me and the other boys in the neighbourhood were preparing for a fun fight with the next street by picking buds large enough to throw at the enemy. There it was, in the bushes, a discarded porn magazine. No more war, we all wanted to see what the fuzz was all about. Not for long. Porn was boring, stupid and gross. Within minutes we ditched the magazine where we found it.  it. That didn't last very long, we found it's boring, stupid and gross. Then we heard a fire engine and threw it back were we found it. Fire engines are so much cooler than [naked] girls. Anyway girls are stupid. All girls are stupid. Firetrucks are not. How times have changed.

Grace Jones Lets Us In On a Little Secret

Wiggle it

It's always the ones you least expect.

Surprise: found in the prop department of a 200 million super spy movie.

My previous post was about butt plugs, today is about strap-ons. Hey, I don't make the news.

So I tried to come up with some kind of intelligent answer to the question of who I am. Of course my argument derailed and I ended up giving high praise to Michelle Yeoh. Excellent choice if I may say so. We'll get back to the question of 'who is Dutch' in some future post.

There are two Bond 'girls' that are more than a match for 007. Of course there is Wai Lin, the character played by Michelle Yeoh in the 1997 movie Tomorrow Never Dies. Twelve years before the movie poster for A View To A Kill tried to lure people to the cinema, suggesting James Bond had finally met his match. Of course he did. Officially because he had sex with Mayday with her on top but out of view of the camera there is a much better, funnier reason. Also a nice contrast with Michelle Yeoh's character who is immune to Bond’s seduction techniques.

High-Tech Anal Play

Welcome to the world of adult chess

Butt it's not what you think

No, don't ask me where you can buy this. No idea.

Oh boy, where do I begin. Let's talk about Elon Musk later. Couple of years back I wrote about how the game of chess comes with free irony. It still does. More than ever.

Competitive chess is even more boring than it sounds. And no the word boring has nothing to do with Elon Musk and his Boring company. Something with holes? Perhaps, butt we'll leave that for later. Magnus Carlsen is one of the best chess players in the world. In tennis he would be Serena Williams, Roger Federer or Rafael Nadal. OK I'm kidding, chess is simply not my thing. Carlsen has the highest FIDE rating - your chess IQ - ever. There is no doubt he is much, much smarter than Elon M. My guess his mathematical intellect is on par with that of female African-American mathematicians Katherine G. Johnson, Dorothy Vaughan and Mary Jackson without whom there probably still wouldn't be a man on the moon.

The Next Mistress Catwoman

But who?

In other news: Dutch has lost his Enigma CD

Las Vengadoras Enmascaradas (1962) Masked women spring into action to catch bandits.

By now you must have watched Michelle Pfeiffer cracking the whip as she beheads four mannequins in a department store. Guess I have to rewatch Batman Returns because I have no clue why Catwoman did that.

What amazes me most is the sheer elegance with which she handles the long-tail whip. She practised for months. One time she hit her teacher, Anthony Delongis, a fight choreographer and movement teacher, in the face. And now this performance.

Catwoman: How To Bring Sex to a Neutered Franchise

Hint: Michelle Pfeiffer and perhaps a whip 

[Catsuits are so optional]

"Felines just wanna have fun." Michelle Pfeiffer jumping ropes out of the frame.

Not everybody appreciated my discussion of the song 'Whip It'. You cannot be happy all the time. Me for instance am less than thrilled when dommes who fiercely denounce prodommes [666] suddenly decide to celebrate their birthday for an entire month on Twitter. Now it's OK for random strangers to send prezzies. No bigger fall from grace than showing your double standards.

Now that I have that out of my system, let's talk about more interesting things, like whips and how a song with that word in it has nothing to do with BDSM. Of course not. After all, nobody assumes that all kink-related words that begin with an f are about findom. Yes, now I'm really done for today, so let's talk about felines, I mean whips.