A Different Way to Celebrate Valentine's Day

Commerce rules Valentine's Day. Loving gestures and gifts are compulsory. Genuine feelings are not. How about writing her one last letter, just in case you don't make it back from fearsome faraway land?

We all know Romeo and Julia were amateurs compared to grandma & grandpa

Valentine’s Day is one of those rare occasions where even mistress cannot win. No one beats the commercial classes. The Dutch Automobile Association is running an add right now where it encourages you to sign up, so you can be with the one you love on Valentine’s Day. Commercial interests high-jacked February 14. Ordinary guys long ago learned, they loose either way. If she says we’re not gonna do anything for Valentine’s Day this year, don’t fall for it. What if she does? Doomed if you do and doomed if you don’t. As for the most romantic day of year, some say Valentine’s Day is, better don’t ever get married any year.

Dungeon Delusions: To Serve is to be Far Away From Her

If not being with your mistress is your idea of what true servitude is all about, have fun. Just make sure your slavecave has a little bit of class.

Bad to the bone might not be the most apt sign above the cage of your selfconfessed solitary confinement. Then again whose happiness we're talking about anyway?

I’m dead against not sleeping in the same bed as the woman I love, and yes that includes mistress. For whatever reason some slaves believe, the more distance you put between mistress and yourself, the deeper the devotion. Digg a tunnel to China! Just make sure you do not come up on the other side, only to discover there are several miles of ocean above you. Blub blub.

Guilty by the Numbers? Beyond the Judgement of Solomon

Jian Ghomeshi, Bill Cosby and now New Year’s Eve in Cologne. Sometimes women do bad things, but mostly it is us men. The Judgement of Solomon obviously doesn not work here. But does character?

If his ass turns red after 11 strokes, he must be guilty. Of what?
Challenging her. Mistress is always right even if she is not. Q.E.D.

Whether you like it or not – consensual BDSM can blur the lines. But for the most part it is straight forward. No means no. Always. Forever. That is why it is called no. Still that does not help.

As I mentioned before, indignation reached peak political correctness in the case of Jian Ghomeshi. The number of female accusers was so overwhelming, he simply must have done it. Most likely. I think. But that is not the same as justice, let alone lock up a predator. Justice needs to prevail for many reasons, making sure a predator no longer roams the streets is one of the most important.

So what does it tell us numerous people come forward, but only after the first does. Apart from the fact that it is difficult to do so, not too much. I’ve been thinking about it a lot. Enter character, aka previous accusations.

Not Big On Begging (Dommes)

Beneficium accipere libertatem est vendere

It does not matter whether a woman dresses up her need for stuff in a nice post or begs for it outright. For some reason, it makes their “natural” dominance hard to swallow.

Prêt-à-porter is so 2015. Time to move on to haute couture girl.

Yes, a woman who receives a prezzy from the man who loves her, that is nice. I’m guilty too and can only hope my guilt increases exponentially over time. But to brag about your dominance, while at the same time beg your devotees. Now there is something wrong with that for me.

More and more women, who enjoy playing the dominant role in femdom games, beg for stuff. The most outlandish ones emphasize the need for slaves to serve with their wallets exclusively. Not only does that attitude make you wonder about the very nature of servitude. It also ask the question whether dominance comes naturally or can be bought whenever the price is right.

Why Kink No Longer Equals Crazy

Once kinky folk were considered mentally ill, because a clinical manual said so. It took a long fight to get rid of that classification.

The DSM is a scary big book, explaining just how crazy you are. It does not matter whether you are really mad or not. If the big book says you are crazy, you are. Until its latest edition BDSM was considered a mental illness. How that affects you, depends on where you live and what your situation is.

A Painful Weather Forecast

A radio DJ who wants to spice up his weather forecast and a cruel suggestion from a sadistic girl.

This is how a taser looked like before they invented electricity

Sometimes sadism is right under your nose. The weather forecast is the most boring part of the news, isn't it? One radio station is trying to spice up things a bit. Not by announcing it's raining men. The DJ invites readers to submit challenges for him while he is reading the weather forecast.

Luxury Handbags. A Better Investment than the Stock Market?

I'm gonna share a secret with you. Just make sure mistress never finds out. The Hermès Birkin handbag has a better long-term return than the S&P 500. Still it is an ugly bag.

"The whole point was to take an icon of consumerism and change it, which is like blasphemy."
Make it idiot proof and somebody will make a better idiot. (Image: The Telegraph)

For the new year I decided to improve the quality of my blog. I began writing about serious stuff like Beauty & The Beast. There are many similiarities with Fifty Shades. Sometimes I feel life is one big cosmic joke. When I finished the post, I discovered the prince was eleven years old when the spell was cast.

Over years I have taken a stance against findom and overpriced luxury items - experiences are a much better investment - only to find out I am wrong. So very wrong.

Safe in Her Arms: Submission Comes in Many Ways

A 1960’s image of a man asleep in the arms of a woman. Happy where he belongs. Me, I not only see love but also his complete surrender to her. She is the woman you love and also your mistress. Today is about submission without pain.

Her hand gently pulls him closer. He remains vast asleep as she plant a gentle kiss on his forehead. Today is for love. Tomorrow is for suffering. (Image by Coby Whitmore)

Let’s keep it simple. She is my mistress and I am her slave. It is part of who we are. Not necessesarily why we are together though. If you can make a relationship work with an extra layer of complexity, it only adds to its beauty. It becomes a source of joy. I was thinking of that as I discovered this image. I love it.

Fifty Shades is Beauty & The Beast All Over

"...for who could ever learn to love a beast?"

A while ago I discover this beautiful image by artist Andrew Tarusov. Belle in full control of her Beast. Disney wouldn’t approve but it is clearly femdom related. Then all of a sudden it hit me. Beauty & the Beast is exactly the same as Fifty Shades. Think about it.

She will set him free – from his current form. Despite his grumpiness  he follows her lead. I do not understand why The Beast doesn’t look happier. He should, Belle is.(Image: Disney pin-up princess by Andrew Tarusov)

Even the most diehard Fifty Shades fan is disappointed by how the story ends. Sadist abuses innocent young girl. Young girl blossoms into a woman despite everything and domesticates wealthy sadist. In the end it didn’t turn out to be his fault at all. It was his childhood.

Horror-Silvesternacht: 1000 Men Assault 100 Women

Last year the BDSM community almost universally condemned Jian Ghaneshi before he was charged. The same thing happened with Bill Cosby, who was finally charged recently. On New Year's Eve 100 women were assaulted. You probably haven't heard about it.

Not nearly as festive as it looks. (Image Marie Claire)

The Court of Popular Opinion always fails
Who needs due process if the number of accusers is high enough? If that many women come forward he must have done it. My writing discussed how the case would influence the general public’s view on BDSM. I was almost excommunicated from the kink community for not following the party line. Those who didn’t toe the line, all received likes from the femdom police on their Fetlife account.

Essence of Femdom: Wonderful Goddess in Red

"Hot babe in sexy outfit" That is how the vanilla world describes femdom. What else can you do if you cannot conceive the image symbolizes a whole world behind it. The dark side runs much deeper than just hot babes in sexy outfits. For the second time in my life I was flabberghasted by the image of a woman. A dame oozing strength and dominance, without a hint of leather or rubber.

Nope it wasn't this image. So impressed, I forgot to bookmark (Image source NA)

Most visitors probably end up here, in search of hardcore stuff. Don't worry, one day. Femdom is much more than that. A couple of days ago I saw a beautiful image of a domme radiating nothing but raw power. Her strength was palpable just by looking at your screen. She had an intimidating aura around her. Not menacing, just a heads up with a touch of fear. Promise or threat? It depends. Bloody gorgeous and highly erotic too. Pardon my language.

Eleven things about 2015

My first post of 2015 was a list of kinky New Year’s resolutions – kinda tongue in cheek. It received a large number of hits that continued all through the year.  It surprised me. Most people have no clue who Dutch is. On top of that it is pretty personal.

It is exactly what it looks like.

New Year’s resolutions can be a good thing, even if you break them on day one. They help you reflect on what matters whatever caught your attention. Below 11 things about 2015.

Love and femdom make strange bedfellows
Desire is a sadist par excellence. People in femdom-oriented relationship confuse lust for love more often than their vanilla peers. Quite frequently things don’t work out and I read quite a few blogpost dealing with just that.

What a Way to Drink Goddess' Champagne

A slave can only hope. A very special treat from mistress on New Year's eve? After all, I've been a good boy all year. Flowing from mistress beautiful curves. Me, greedy. So very greedy.

The stuff dreams are made of. Angel dust. Wouldn't spill a single drop. An overwhelming sensual treat. You can never be too greedy. Or have enough bottles of champagne. Eleven is the perfect number for that. Absolute devotion. The impossible dream. (Image: Philipp Marfurt Photography I assume)

Dreaming with my eyes wide open. I see, hear, feel taste and smell everyting. How can this not be real? "Can I help you clean up, mistress? Please... I'll do anything you want. Forever. I live to serve. Please, please mistress. Very please?"

Down the rabbit hole I go. Again, always. Neverending. Guess I never stopped in the first place. It happens to all of us. Intoxicated, but not by the mighty champagne.

Happy New Year!

Wonderfull Goddesses & Majestic Curves

We men are genetically imprinted with a love for the female body. It nowhere says bones in a bag is the only acceptable preference. And don't even think about putting on a sexy outfit. 

Jhonni Blaze (Image credits unavailable)

Grace Jones is scary. Serena Williams is ill-suited for advertisement and I am not allowed by the femdom police to have my own preferences. After being a good boy all year, the last post of 2015 is an act of defiance.

Apparently the only female bodyshape I am only allowed to lust for and worship is bones in a bag. On top of that the femdom police has decided that any kind of sexy outfit, let alone fetish attire is out of the question. Not even if the women like it themselves. We all know the femdom police exists to make everybody as miserable as possible, mistresses and slaves alike. Good thing you can catch the femdom police of guard around New Year's Eve. They're probably drunk since Christmas.

ISIS' Sex Slaves. A Theology of Rape

ISIS’s has drawn up a set of rules on how and when to rape enslaved women. They were issued in an effort to curb “violations” of Sharia law in the treatment of captives. Today Reuters News publishes a translation.

A protest recreating a modern day female slave market (Image: GH)

Throughout history rape armies have used rape to strike fear into the hearts of the civilian population. It also serves as a reward for soldiers. Islamic terror group ISIS is no exception. It is hard to believe such practices still continue to this day on such a large scale. The religious zealots of ISIS decided differently. Where the majority of religious people in the world use the religion as a force for good, ISIS does not. The terrorists uses rape as a recruitment tool. Recruits are awarded sex slaves, mainly women captured by ISIS fighters. Not only that, they are also sold to affluent Middle Easterners.

No Chastity For Me Please. Thank You

For many reasons I'm not into chastity. And before you say that choice is up to mistress, let me remind you that any successful relationship is based on the needs of two people. When I saw a an image of a spiked chastity device it made me think about the why and how of such toys.

(Image: Male Chastity Devices)

Broadly speaking there are three reasons why I don't like chastity. First of all sexual frustration is no substitute for mutual attraction. Most women know, we men promise them the moon - and throw in both Mars and Venus as a bonus - when we are horny. To be on edge 24/7 reduces mistress to an object of desire. As usual: who is serving who? Perhaps this is the part where sadism and dominace begin to bite each other.

Then there is the vanilla world. Chastity is a huge distraction to whatever you do. Most women expect their slave to be more than just horny. Full time chastity is a major impediment to professional success.

Do kinky folk have just one thing on their mind? Sometimes I wonder. Me, I strive to be more than just the sum of my desires. Unfortunately long term chastity achieves quite the opposite.

Mistress Hibiki: The Dominatrix as Artisan

A captivating image on Tumblr made me think about how femdom can be more than just play. Some use their passion for femdom as an inspiration to create something beautiful and artistic that defies the usual boundaries of femdom.

Japanese mistress Hibiki holding a samurai sword (Image  Tokyo Dope)

My blog often reflects upon topics others don’t touch for fear of being singled out by the femdom police. Naughty corner for you and no more playtime! The fact that I enjoy a good fight doesn’t help either. I prefer the ones with those who hold themselves in high regard, but the world at large disagrees. If you wanna play with the big boys, better come prepared. Some interpret my writing as animosity towards kink. They are wrong. Quite the contrary, I’m loving it. Why wouldn’t I? Born this way. When I discovered I was not alone – there are women who nurture similar yet opposite interests – I felt like a kid in the candy store. Didn’t we all?

Serena Williams: Embodiment of Femininity, Strength and Power

Sports Illustrated choose tennis player Serena Williams as Sportsperson of the year, a recognition of her talent, determination and hard work that was long overdue. Serena in turn choose the image of herself posing on a throne for the cover of election issue. Such a bold, excellent choice makes me admire her even more.

A powerful image of Serena Williams. She is the embodiment of femininity, strength and power, no throne necessary. (Image: Sports Illustrated)

Despite being the best female athlete of all time, tennis player Serena Williams has faced discrimination throughout her career. She was ridiculed by her fellow female tennis players. Advertisers didn't like her looks, which resulted in considerably lower revenue from sponsor contracts than other athletes.

Vice Magazine on Findom. Freaks Sell

A little light reading for the holidays with Vice's section on BDSM, financial domination and other things not safe for work. Warning: reading those articles is fun, but will not leave you of any wiser. Happy holidays.

Give it to me baby. (Image: Vice article)

Sex sells. Freaky stuff too. Fifty Shades can make you very rich. Some time ago I wrote about a Vice journalist who tried on a male chastity device. A lofty effort to understand BDSM a little better.

How The Grinch Stole Our Christmas

Ever wondered what the weirdest thing is, people give to charity? A few years ago The Grinch stole our Christmas. Recently I asked myself that question as I donated some of the things my love and mistress left behind. It was another crazy December, that made me look back. Today – Boxing Day – a story of a love that wasn’t meant to be. Read on and you’ll understand why every year, around Christmas, I think of her.

Mine looked a little different.

When love leaves town, you box her personal items to be picked up later. Or not. A couple of years ago The Grinch stole our Christmas and all he left me with was the box, a deluxe edition with nipple clamps and other spicy items. Fortunately nipple clamps don’t scare me. The hand that operates them however, does.

Britain's Anti-Porn Laws One Year On: It's Ugly

Twelve months later, The Independent runs a story on the 2014 British Porn Laws. And yes it is bad. Censorship always is. But so is the slow demise of individual freedom that creeps up on us. Censorship is never the answer.

Glasgow based dominatris Megana Fury
The Independent writes how Britain's extreme porn laws have affected her.
(Image: The Independant)

What everyone feared would happen, did happen. Of course. As if anyone ever doubted it!  One year on, Britain's Obscenity Act drove some out of business and others overseas. But did it save anyone from harm? Most likely not. So much for a tolerant and liberal society.

ManServants. Broken Heart? Rent a pretty vanilla slave thingy!

Wherever you look, vanilla minds are being dripfed the idea of power-exchange as an essential ingredient to any succesfull relationship. On top of that the Fifty Shades legacy feels more like a tsunami, but elements of dominance and submission are all around.

A special from our ManServant Holiday Collection: slave-candy-man. Brain and conversational skills are extra. Order now. Comes with free gag, blindfold and chastity device. We'll even throw in a t-shirt just to make him feel more exposed and helpless. The ugly shirt highlights the missing undergarment, a psychological trick to reinforce his lack of control and vulnerability. At your service! (Note: image above is a suggestion for presentation only. Actual humiliating effect may differ on a per slave basis.)

Some years ago I ran into something called servants4u. Basically it is a free service for dominant women. Servants who enlist are available for all kinds of chores including ironing, chauffeuring and gardening. Lucky for them I’m not a domme. I would request their service and send them of to someone in need but without the slightest interest in Fifty Shades of fun. After all to serve is to serve. To serve is its own reward. It's all about giving, not receiving, etc.

Debt Bondage 2.0: Pay Day Loans & Cash Advances

Modern day slavery exists right under our noses. Short term lending is one such example. It prays on the desperate – and often financial illiterate – who have no way out. The pay day loan industry presents itself as a good samaritan. Don’t be fooled. They are loan-sharks who pray on the weak. After all business is business.

A different kind of menace. Female debt collector in Singapore (Image: Herworldplus)

A small loan, you pay back in a few weeks time, it seems so convenient. You need money now. What else can you do? Most customers have no idea just how much they have to pay back later. In part the industry relies on this. These loans come with high interest rates. Then there are the fees. Loans spin out of control because of the combination of these combined with hidden charges.

Bounce & Facesit. Is It The New 50 Shades?

Recently gifs where women dropped themselves onto their boyfriend's face, started flooding the internet. The first time I saw one, I was baffled. Happiness raining down on you from the skies above. The second one, with her beautiful smile, just before she sits down on her sleeping boyfriend, I just loved it. I liked it so much, I labeled it "Lucky birthday boy". This third - and less inspired installment - kinda makes me wonder. Is there a hype going on?

That would be a shame. Hypes ruin the beauty of everything, especially of anything that is odd or quirky. One can never have to much fun, but no fads please. Other than that, I'm loving it (once again).

The Bodyguard: Kinky Roleplay At Its Best

Find out if he is worthy. Make him suffer by the very hands he vows to protect. Some enjoy scenarios to spice up their play. Too bad most plots are boring. But not all. Test your new bodyguard. Make sure he is up to the job. Beat him into a pulp and make him suffer, is the most creative outline, I came across in a long time.

Not impressed. Or too much fun? Round two anyone? (Image: Demolition Dommes)

Keep it simple
Some people like scenarios they can play out. Me? I prefer to keep it simple. She is my mistress and I am her slave. The natural order of things. By choice and by nature. Does it really matter? Mistress can punish you, or make you suffer any way she likes, just because she feels like it.