Free to Live the Life You Want

Privacy, freedom to choose and femdom

Unlike queen Patricia of the Other World Kingdom, not all women are allowed to enjoy the femdom life from the shadows.

Not the pink catsuit that caught my eye but Nijntje [Miffy]. (Image mistress Baton)

In retrospect what impressed me most, is how queen Patricia, ruler of that femdom fairy tale, called the Other World Kingdom [OWK], understood privacy 2.0, before anyone else. Twenty years ago the OWK, just like the internet, was in its infancy. Much of the OWK's initial success was due to being an early adaptor of the online world.

To this day, you are haunted by the many, many images of dommes being showcased at the OWK, mostly on a pattern of ageless, rotating recycling. The one person that [doesn't] stand out is queen Patricia, probably because even then she understood, unlike most of us, the upcoming assault on our privacy, the connected world would turn out to be.

Ex-domme Drains Female Vanilla Students

In part two of my critique of The New York Times article about former dominatrix Mrs. Urbaniak and her Academy, "let's follow the money." Not exactly Watergate, but scandalous nevertheless.

What do they teach kids today anyway?
Crop in hand, latex-clad teacher Mrs. Urbianak at Yale university
(Image: Kasia Urbaniak)

Many years in the corporate world have taught me one thing. Most external advisors don't know what they're talking about. Why? It's not their area of expertise. To make up for that, they try and sell you hot air. I rather take lessons from history instead. Remember the one about that Greek city infiltrated by a wooden horse? Look no further, the dominatrix-enemy is within. There are many life lessons a former pro-domme can teach you. Instead Mrs. Urbaniak opts for cold hard cash at any price. Findom for female suckeresses. Guess that's progress or equality of sorts. Unfortunately those who attend class, will suffer. Uncontrollable inner-domme, anyone?

Bed of Nails - A Painful Balancing Act in Stainless Steel

"Made in kinky Germany, twelf points, douze pointe. (Plus a few more, you lucky slave)"

Tech Tuesday for kinksters and the introduction of a modular bed of nails, proudly "made in Germany". Slaves, be afraid, very afraid.

"Let's hope I don't rip my panties" (Image: Explicit Numerics)

What do you think when you see metal bondage gear "made in Germany?" Keep in mind that originally "made in Germany" was meant as a warning for British consumers against supposedly inferior products from abroad. Wrong! That was in 1887 and it backfired spectacularly. Since then "Made in Germany" has become synonymous with quality.

Mistress Knows Best - Terms & Conditions Apply

A former pro-domme teaches her students how to deal with men, using the tools of the dominatrix trade. With zero experience in the corporate world, what can go wrong?

On top of all the office fun, he gets a salary too.

Kink is not a self-help book. No matter how often I repeat that, nobody listens. I should have know better than to heap praise on The New York Times. The Gray Lady's article on "how to deal with men" sounds very much like an infomercial for ex-dominatrix Kasia Urbaniak's Academy. All of that can be forgiven if Mrs. Urbaniak had something real to offer to her students. Unfortunately she is one of the many exploiting the freak element of femdom for personal gain. Most likely the average woman is better off not attending her classes.

Finally, the Audience Is ‘Fifty Shades Freed’

How to spot a bad movie? Press screenings 24 hours before it's release!

The new Fifty Shades movie is terrible. For once trust the critics. The honeymoon is over. At last! 

Now that's what I call a red room! (Image Tom Foolery/2012 Seattle Erotic Art Festival)

"Fifty Shades Freed” earned $38.8 million and the top spot at the North American box office. The considerably more family-friendly “Peter Rabbit” came second." Yes that is The New York Times. Comes with free [digital] delivery and complementary irony. Well played Gray Lady!

All right, I'll spare you the horrors of discussing Fifty Shades 3.0 on Valentines Day, but we really have to talk about it. After all, how much non-consensual abuse is acceptable, even for kinksters?

Porn on TV and the Rejection of Kink

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NCIS - Where Victims of Abuse Turn Masochist

Once you open your eyes, mainstream kink abuse is everywhere

TV show NCIS portrays masochists as victims of abuse and looking for penance through pain rather than consenting adults born this way. It's all about the ratings baby.

"Very, very weird" (Image: NCIS)

Fool me once... Well, you know how it goes. Looking East to salvage my illusion that kink on TV can serve as goodwill ambassador, I was naive. In what would be the penultimate episode of this series, even Japan's anime series Prison School doesn't respect those who are alternatively inclined.

Kink Depression

Where have all the good dommes gone?

Warning: online kink research may damage your health. Don't know if there is such a thing as kink depression, but if there is, I'm suffering from it.

 
A recent New York Times article, or better, an advertorial on how to use the "way of the domme" - sorry Bruce Lee - to deal with men, left me feeling sad. I'll write about it later, but for now one example. A woman who negotiated a multi-million dollar contract is left out of the signing ceremony. Pro-domme advice: next time, pepper him with a relentless barrage of questions. Bad advice, but it gets worse when you read the last paragraph, where it says that her boss and his boss are in attendance.

Prison School - Anime Dreams of a Masochistic Teenager

Abandon all hope. Kink on TV only makes things worse.

No matter how much fun it is, when anime depicts masochists as pigs, both literally and figurally, there is no hope of kinksters ever being considered normal people with alternative sexual preferences.

Prison School: Anime that spreads the message: no outsiders, on screen or in the real world.

After my Tokyo session I asked mistress how populair kink in Japan was. "It's really big here" she answered. In part four of our series on why kink on TV won't lead to more mainstream acceptance, a look at Japan and it's anime culture. Unfortunately, East or West, the message is the same. Kink on TV is being exploited for entertainment, even if it means dehumanizing BDSM enthusiasts.

TV Show Billions and the Abuse of Kink for Ratings

Billions opens with the kinkiest scene on TV ever, but as soon as the program gains name recognition, the kink theme is dropped.

"Honey, I'm home.". The opening scene from Billions (Image: Billions)

In part III of why more kink on TV doesn't increase mainstream acceptance, an indept look at Billions and how it uses kink to sell the show.

Basically, Billions made headlines because of it's opening scene. A man is lying on the floor, bound, helpless and nowhere to go. Heels are clicking. A bit of silly conversation is next. Then mistress puts out her cigarette on his chest. The caring woman that she is, she fights the fire that is consuming his flesh by peeing on her slave. She is also his wife, definitely points for that.

"That's Mistress Parrot to you!" and other Cheesy Slave Chores

Why spend more time on educating the general audience, if kinksters are only good for poking fun at? Some examples from the Comedy Central website.

In part II of why more kink on TV doesn't equal increased mainstream acceptance, the silliest things we do for lust.

Researching kink online can be challenging. We men are always interested in naked women and the internet offers plenty of that. Normally I would say "viva la internet" but when you are looking for actual facts with your pants zipped, it gets annoying. Delving into the world of television and kink, I stumbled upon Comedy Central and their unique take on dominance and submission. Don't be too curious, you can sum it up in one word: "really?"