Perfume: Of Fragrance and Femdom Scent of a Woman

If you think there is nothing farther removed from kink than perfume, think again. Even though I'm all in favour of toys and hot leather outfits, that is not what femdom and love are all about.

Don't judge a book by its cover.
If you do, go for something more intoxicating. How 'bout kiss from a dragon?

Shrine
The joys of a rainy Sunday afternoon sometimes include running into a superb blog about perfumes. Yes, that is right, the guy who once came home on a Sunday night with mistress' underwear hiding in his weekend bag - by accident of course - not that mistress believed me, is reading about perfume n stuff.  When I told her about the stowaway, she asked:

"Are you building a shrine in my honour?"

Dutch replied something like: "My heart serves as your shrine." Superfluous and she knew.[1] Fast forward several years and I find myself browsing "Perfume Shrine." Oh irony! It is a superb blog. The author loves writing at least as much as she cares for her potions.

After reading posts such as "Is perfume political, you bet" it came as little surprise to find a number of posts on the subject of perfume and BDSM. They are all excellent blog posts and its topic made me think about men, women, love, Chanel No. 5 and perfumes in general. My mind drifted away and started pondering the deeper significance of a man buying a new fragrance for his mistress. Enter the twilight zone...

Why Dommes Should Stop Complain Being an Object of Interest

Grown men suffer more, so much more. Mistress where are thou. Please set me free.

Before (she discovers nipple clamps): Tower of power. The writing is on the wall. Just wait until she finds out about the dark side. Now tell me again, what choice do we men have? (Image credits: unknown)

All men are into femdom. Most of us just never realize. Nor does their significant other. One more cosmic joke. We all look for a compatible partner, one that makes us happy. When we do, we discover nothing matters more than making them happy. Even if their happiness is not necessarily ours. And yes for dommes that spells the difference between mere suffering and happy suffering. Now try to explain that E. L. James.

Yes there are twenty men for each prospective domme. Now assume you are man and plain vanilla. You also are over 25 or 30. As a kid the main reason your 16 year old self hated secondary school was the girl you fancied had an 18 year old boyfriend who owned a car. Only two more years...

Where Femdom Meets Art

Art is about the beauty of happiness. So is femdom. Beauty is where the two of them meet, a concept more often than not that is hard to grasp. Some images.

A classic femdom image, which to me says art. (Credits unknown)

By itself not necessarily a force for good, creativity is a tool, used and abused by many to get their message across - or stay in power. The power of creativity not only serves sales people, artists and oppressionists, but people from every walk of live. That, in the end, makes it a force for anything that is considered worthwhile and benevolent.

Jian Ghomeshi Not Guilty on 5 Counts of Sexual Assault

Last March in the first of two sexual assault trials, Mr. Ghomeshi was acquitted of all charges. A second trial that addresses a complaint of a co-worker is set to begin on June 6.

Mr. Ghomeshi leaves court with his lawyer. (Image: The Guardian)

Initially Mr. Ghomeshi was charged with eight counts of sexual assault. He has been acquitted of five of them now. Two more were dropped by the prosecution citing a low chance of conviction. The second trial will begin in two weeks time.

Even after the ruling the case remains highly controversial. A good indicator is usually the various ways the press reports about it. CBC, Mr. Ghomeshi's former employer writes about the ruling:

"Judge William Horkins, in a searing rebuke of the complainants, said that their "deceptive and manipulative" evidence raised a reasonable doubt in the guilt of Ghomeshi."

Highly Tributed Lifestyle Domme Part III Disagree with Miss P

In this third installment of the "highly tributed lifestyle domme" I write at length about what got me so cross in the first place. Why anybody explains, she is not into pro-domming, is a rather curious question. It also is the author's prerogative to write about anything she wants. Nobody would ever dream about writing something like this about dentists - which is kind of the same - and that is before the lawyers come in. So why is OK to disrespect pro-dommes?

Of course it only happens when you feel so dominant.

1.    Why?
One day, some years ago I was as high on a happy vibe as I’ll ever be, I finished my writing with some scathing comment on just how useless management consultants really are. Advising a business is all about making money from problems no-one else considered an issue before. I was reminded of just that when I read Miss Pearl’s post.

For a while now I’ve been researching the 20-1 domme deficit. It’s how I ran into Miss Pearl, explaining why she’ll never be a pro-domme. Why does anyone feel the need to explain two unrelated things? It is as silly as me writing about why I’ll never be a pro-rebel. And yes that is funny!

The preliminary results of my research seem to indicate kink-oriented women and men look for something different in a partner. A bit contentious but most likely it goes back to fundamental differences between men and women, aka Venus vs Mars.

Portrait of Harriet Tubman to Grace $20 Bill

On April 20 the US Treasury announced its decision that Harriet Tubman, the anti-slavery campaigner, is set to appear on the front of the $20 bill, becoming the first woman to be the face of a bill of US currency.

Reallife superheroes are priceless.

Slaves who own dishwashers are underrated, whether they’re owned or not. Time flies anyway, so why waste it? I wanted to write about the new $20 bill before, but today seems equally apt. May 5 is Liberation Day in the Netherlands. We Dutch celebrate the end of World War II. On top of that it is Ascension Day.

Memories Are Bullets

On Valentine’s Day I wrote about my friend who loves to travel to shitholes. If he knew I'm into femdom, he would roll his eyes in disbelief. Kinda silly, his travel destinations make him a masochist too, albeit with slightly different cravings. Not that he sees it that way.

Before The Throne Of Beauty

Before he left for Afghanistan he wrote two letters. In one of them he quoted Kill the Dead by Richard Kadrey

“Memories are bullets.
Some whiz by and only spook you.
Others tear you open and leave you in pieces.”

Prince: "Women Not Girls Rule My World"

When it comes to the colour of my dreams - it's Nina Simone. Prince died on April 21st, 2016. After I heard he passed away, my subconscious made an exception for the next few nights [1]. Rightly so. A late obituary, with a whiff of femdom.

"... not your lover. Not your friend. Something that you'll never comprehend."

On more than one occassion, usually one or two days after I visited some club in Amsterdam, I read in the papers how Prince paid a surprise visit. Ofteny he performed live on stage. It is the one thing I don’t like about Prince: him and me were out of sync, which is forever my loss.

Christian Domestic Discipline

Sexual submission meets erotic submission for a fraction of religious couples practicing Christian Domestic Discipline. Husband punishes wife only of course.

(Image: Aeon article)

Last year I watched a documentary called “Leader in the household” I neither will nor can ever agree to the notion of the man being the leader in the household. Both Vanilla Dutch and Dark Dutch are laughing at the very concept. My most fundamental premise is that we are all equal, no exception. That doesn’t mean some prefer califlower over icecream [their loss] or have spicier preferences.

The notion that religious people can rescue their relationship by putting the man in charge of all decisions, made me feel sad. It is a far cry from why two people should be together: balance and harmony, kindred spirits and a well-rounded notion of give and take, preferably one that takes into account the strengths and weakness of both lovers.

Highly Tributed Lifestyle Domme Part II - Women of the Real World

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Highly Tributed Lifestyle Domme Part I - Don't Judge

Tell me what is worse. A man who doesn’t stand up for the ones he loves or a dominant woman whose desperate desires makes her say nasty things about other [dominant] woman. Enter the “highly tributed lifestyle domme”. One more reason  why the future of femdom is bleak.

We all have life without parole. Not that I mind.
Just don't let your desires get the best of you.

Last year I read Miss Pearl’s 2013 blog post on why she makes a big deal about not being a pro femdomme. Other than being baffled why people believe pro-dommes and lifestyle are “similar", I don't like the article for two reasons. First the author consistently compares pro-dommes to something “inferior.” Secondly – and this is what really rattled my cage – one of the commenters explains how she felt more in touch with her inner “Dominant Woman” by moving on from being a pro-domme to a "highly tributed life style domme." Whatever. But why bashing pro-dommes?

Don't judge!

Respect people’s choices rather than judge them. It is a fundamental quality I look for in others. It shows tenacity, maturity, life experience and a kind heart – and yes that makes you a better domme as well. Honesty is all about strength. It demands considerable courage to tell the truth. Unfortunately certain players lack that quality. Dutch has never shied away from a good catfight, but when it comes to pjure-and-riel-lifestyle-only dommes dissing pro-dommes, it gets ugly.