Sunday, April 17, 2016

Highly Tributed Lifestyle Domme Part I  
Don't Judge

Tell me what is worse. A man who doesn’t stand up for the ones he loves or a dominant woman whose desperate desires makes her say nasty things about other [dominant] woman. Enter the “highly tributed lifestyle domme”. One more reason  why the future of femdom is bleak.

We all have life without parole. Not that I mind.
Just don't let your desires get the best of you.

Last year I read Miss Pearl’s 2013 blog post on why she makes a big deal about not being a pro femdomme. Other than being baffled why people believe pro-dommes and lifestyle are “similar", I don't like the article for two reasons. First the author consistently compares pro-dommes to something “inferior.” Secondly – and this is what really rattled my cage – one of the commenters explains how she felt more in touch with her inner “Dominant Woman” by moving on from being a pro-domme to a "highly tributed life style domme." Whatever. But why bashing pro-dommes?


Don't judge!
Respect people’s choices rather than judge them. It is a fundamental quality I look for in others. It shows tenacity, maturity, life experience and a kind heart – and yes that makes you a better domme as well. Honesty is all about strength. It demands considerable courage to tell the truth. Unfortunately certain players lack that quality. Dutch has never shied away from a good catfight, but when it comes to pjure-and-riel-lifestyle-only dommes dissing pro-dommes, it gets ugly.

I’m just a guy, part slave, a few other things beside it. As a student I spent many nights working in bars. Not as a bouncer, but on occassion I helped out. Drunk people teach you the ugly – raw and honest – side of humanity. One day a girl came in, carrying an acrylic knife blade for her boy friend. Someone apparently stared at her for too long. Or so she said. He mad. Her handbag. Our security. They fixed it. It was just another fun night. It is not only pro-dommes who are not always adequately reimbursed for their natural dominance.

Or the one time I closed up. As I walked to my car, I found out someone was waiting for me. He didn’t carry and axe, if only. It turned out the guy was upset because I threw him out of my club for dealing. Drugs suck. It enslaves and ruins people in a no-fun, harmfull way. He loved his own product. That was my luck.

Common sense and living life in the shadows taught me working as a pro-domme is not for everyone. It takes guts and strength to have your face plastered all over the internet. And that is just the beginning of it. To accept who you are, especially in the face of adversity is all about character and strength. Real world dominance so you like. Even more so when the majority of people is unwilling to respect the choices you make.


Insider job
The worst part is getting dissed by “our community (OC).” Some say it stands for "only crap" OC is an alternative reality where embracing the fact you are half a slave and half a man is considered a source of strength. It also is a special place where certain dommes feel the heat from their “peers”. The former is short for a bunch of needy women with “special desillusions”. Women who have a hard time dealing with the “threat” of strong women that actually deliver on their promise. One way to cope, is by smearing the competition. Good thing then, it is all about strength of character.

One day, as I was grocery shopping, a guy lost his cool and started screaming and shouting at the cassiere. The girl was obviously scared. I told him to calm down.

“Mind your own business” he shouted as he ran out of the store. From that moment on, whenever I went there, the girls helped me out any way they could. Often they opened the register just for me. Years later someone explained, those girls are basically on their own. I was very much surprised. I'll give you some time to think about exactly why I just wrote that.

It is not about how you make a living. A check-out clerk can be more dominant than the biggest bad-ass pro-domme. It is about who you are and the obstacles you face. Feel free to sit on the couch, eat bonbons all day and drink Pinot Grigio all night. It will never make you dominant. Liver cirrocis most likely. Obesity if you are lucky. It only makes you a woman whose sexual preferences allow you to attract nineteen leftover desperate, horny and submissve men. I argued before how the sub surplus is actually doing quality dominant women a disservice. After all, we men are pretty good at being dishonest to get what we crave the most.

So when women – some of them content with a mere aura of strength – start dissing other women who actually go out there, face hardship and are rocksolid, I get upset. Disrespecting others is a nasty habit. It also takes the fun out of femdom. Dutch is just one more crappy selfish slave, who knows better than to have an opinion. But hey, I’m a bratty sub, not everyone’s cup of tea.

A long introduction on what makes “Why I make a big deal about no being a pro femdomme” such a difficult read for me. At first I put it aside, but when I read a comment by some woman who labels herself as a "highly tributed life style domme", it made me think again. I’ll get to that later.

In Part 2 I’ll introduce you to two archetypical reallife women. Their stories illustrate what dominance, leadership, strength of character and abuse of privilige can mean from a male point of view.






Highly Tributed Lifestyle Domme

Part I:
Don't Judge
Highly Tributed Lifestyle Domme

Part II:
Women of the Real World
Highly Tributed Lifestyle Domme

Part III:
Disagree with Miss P
Highly Tributed Lifestyle Domme

Part IV:
What was my Personal Legend again?
Highly Tributed Lifestyle Domme

Part V:
11 Reasons to Visit a Pro-Domme

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