Wednesday, December 25, 2019

Christmas Rorschach Test

boxer shorts for christmas, chastity, don't open untill christmas
Looks innocent enough when you see it in the store.

Saw these boxers a couple of weeks ago. It made me laugh so hard that security decided to keep an eye on me. If this is your Christmas present you get from your mistress, 2020 is going to be a very long and uncomfortable year. Now that's what I call a kinky Rorschach test. Christmas sadism clearly sells. Despite that it's painful to see kids suffering on Saturday Night Live.

snl, saturday night live, A commercial advertises thick, uncomfortable and itchy winter clothes for children
A commercial advertises thick, uncomfortable and itchy winter clothes for children.

In other news, Die Hard is no longer a Christmas movie, let alone the best Christmas movie ever. Sure, it was, until the roast of Bruce Willis. From now on it'll be promoted as the most sadistic Christmas movie ever.

die hard, christmas, john mcclane, bruce willis, glass, bare feet
No yippee-ki-yay? After all, it is Christmas.

I've long lost any interest in the Die Hard franchise. What I'm looking forward to, however, is the sequel to another 1980s movie classic: Coming to America. Every men remembers that scene in the bath tube where one of the maids resurfaces, declaring "the royal penis is clean, your Highness."

coming to america, bath tub scene, eddie murphy, "the royal penis is clean, your Highness."
Once the royal penis is locked in chastity, addressing the prince as your Highness is silly.

In the sequel it will be something like "the royal penis is clean and locked for Christmas. I selected the cage with the spikes for this special holiday. Merry Christmas your Highness."

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