OWK VII: On Becoming a Womanian

The rot runs much deeper than just some ridiculous name

Why not apply to serve a real woman like this elegant lady instead?

Continued from: OWK VI - Letter to queen Patricia.

Yes, I drank a lot on New Years Eve, but only the good stuff that gives you headaches for days. Or perhaps I drank too much. One of the weirder side effects of alcohol is that I can see clearly what it is that I desire most. I wanna be a Womanian. 

'I was so looking forward to the invasive and painful medical procedures. Stones, not even sticks? What can I say? Very disappointed.'
    - anonymous male applicant

[Leather] Goddesses Update

Less leather, more female deity!

Mistress Belladonna Knight (image: black mistresses.com)

On the third day of Christmas (to be invented shortly) women start returning their unwanted gifts while men wait for the battery packs of their newly acquired power tools to be fully charged.

Quite a few readers were upset by the suggestive click-bait that was my article on the Leather Goddesses of Phobos on Christmas Eve. Don't blame me, blame the 1980s. Or if you think those days were cool, blame the alphabet. Just remember: it wasn't me. As for the person who asked me where Phobos is, seriously? Read the fine print and get your priorities straight.

The Most Rev Desmond Tutu

Yes OWK, rainbows are all about happiness. Learn from the best. 

Archbishop Emeritus Desmond Tutu of South Africa passes away on Boxing Day.

Colourful!

Driving home from Christmas, I'm thinking of Dad. He's getting real old and his health is failing. He has not much time left. Next year we probably celebrate Christmas without him. Makes me sad. I've learned so much from him. How love is about what you do, not what you say the importance of keeping your promises and standing up for what you think is right, just to name a few.

Leather Goddesses of Phobos

Teenage boys and their feeble minds 

Any relationship to Yapoo's Empire of One Thousand Suns is purely coincidental. [Or so they want us to believe.] 

Where's all that leather that you promised me Doc.?

OK, Christmas Eve. I've kept you waiting long enough. And no, you cannot fold a leather goddess under your Christmas tree. That's blasphemy squared. So what am I talking about?

In 1986 Infocom released a computer game called Leather Goddesses of Phobos. Sex sells, leather too and goddesses even more. Trust me on that last one. Wonderful Goddesses are the best! Happy Christmas! So what's the game about?

'The year is 1936, and suddenly the protagonist is abducted by the Leather Goddesses for the final testing in the plan which will enslave every man and woman on earth. These Leather Goddesses of Phobos are just finishing up their plans for the invasion of Earth. If the hero fails to escape and save humanity, the Leather Goddesses will turn the Earth into their pleasure dome.'

Clearly it cannot be Christmas everyday but why did that not happen? Bummer. Despite that Leather Goddesses of Phobos is hot, hot hot. Hot I say. How hot? Just look at the screen print below. 

Don't be disappointed. Remember how hot literacy was in the 1980s?

It's a bit like the Doctor (Who?) boasting how a library full of books is the best weapon in the world. Whatever Doc, where are my Leather Goddesses Overlords? The alphabet is not sexy, useful but overrated at best. I'd love to say happy christmas everybody but I'm still waiting to be enslaved by them Wonderful Goddesses aka Martian Creatures. [11] 

Again: where's the leather?

Disappointed? Don't be. Read my [Leather] Goddesses New Years Eve update.

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[1] Speaking of the Doctor. Thanks to the first female Timelord [2] ever, I finally figured out the true meaning of the Tardis. As usual: more on that later. I just had to do that. And no, the Tardis is still not being made by Ikea.

[2] As seen on TV, Technically Doctor Ruth comes before Jody - Wacko Timetrash - Whittaker.

[11] Those Wonderful Goddesses are not Martian Creatures to be exact, you say? Because Phobos is a moon orbiting the red planet. Do I look like a rocket scientist? Who cares. Don't you have anything better to do, liking harassing the Grinch with all that mumbo jumbo?

And What Is Your Biggest Kink Regret?

A dream forever out of reach. 

What man in his right mind can resist these two smiling dommes? 

After hearing the gospel of 'things can only get better', this Sunday, in an attempt to head off the fifth wave, [1] the Netherlands went into full lock down again. Just like last year, shortly before Christmas. Clearly somebody hates Christmas more than I do, which I don't, it's the Grinch whom I despise from the bottom of my heart.

Apart from getting sick or dying, Covid-19 has wreaked havoc on almost anything and anyone these past two years. Over here in Holland, the government closed down primary schools to force parents to work from home. UNICEF wasn't happy - nor were the parents - but what can they do? Secondary schools also closed down and many students haven't been in a class room for over a year. Sports clubs have gone under, same with choirs and other clubs. The elderly have have literally died from loneliness. Everybody you ask rattles of more victims of Covid-19 without hesitation and every time you're surprised just how wide and deep the impact is. The only 'winners' so to speak seem to be supermarkets. People are literally stuffing themselves.

At least staying at home allows me some more time for other stuff, like online surfing. The other day I read an interesting question. What is your biggest regret when it comes to kink? Most people wrote about the missed opportunity of never being able to visit the OWK, but why would you wanna go to a sub-par place where everybody - including visiting dommes - has to submit to one woman's [2] limited view on what femdom is and is not?

Others wrote about not being more adventurous but that's a double edged sword, kinky risks can easily translate into real world danger. Basically I don't do regrets but if I did, I'd limit myself to a shorter time period, say, like for instance the past year. Don't know why Berlin's Studio Avalon closed down earlier this year but not visiting there is probably my biggest regret for 2021. [3] The place always had this magical vibe, but what really drew me is the domina team. It always felt rather unique. Still curious about all of them. A couple of names stand out, like two true leather goddesses [more on the Leather Goddesses of Phobos tomorrow, finally] Herrin Mercedes and Lady Pascal in today's mast head image. Clearly I'm not nearly as masochistic as I should be because it brings me no joy never to be able to experience what I desire. And you? What's your regret?

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[1] And no, once we reach the inevitable 11th wave I won't celebrate. D'oh. Covid-19 doesn't make me smile, 11 does.

[2] Or the men and women behind queen Patricia who came up with the money.

[3] My biggest regret for 2020 is not winning the lottery. As usual, I forgot to buy tickets but otherwise I would have applied for a month-long session at Avalon. If only.

How To Make It on OnlyFans

'A horny stranger threatening to lick someone’s underarms, but it might be one of the most charming TV moments of 2021'

Alex Sim-Wise preparing a foot fetish shoot.

Remember OnlyFans? Of course you do. It's the content platform that tried to ban porn, which is about 90 percent of its output, earlier this year only to reverse itself a couple of days later. Initially it blamed payment processors but an Axios article suggests porn made it impossible for Only Fans to attract outside investors who are wary of reputation risk or are sometimes outright banned from investing in adult entertainment. Of course with only 10 percent of your business left, there is little that will excite investors.

Even more fascinating than it's financial angle is OnlyFans' content. In a review for The Guardian Joel Golby hits exactly the right note by alternating between being non-judgemental and surpise of what kind of fetishes sell on Only Fans. The best thing however about the documentary is that it show adult content creators as ordinary folks going through their lives. We're all human after all. (Hey, it's almost Christmas.) 

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[1] The Watcher review: How to Make It on OnlyFans: the foot porn scene alone is Bafta-worthy 

[2] How to Make It on OnlyFans is on UK's Channel 4.

'Bought & Sold'

Sexual Slavery in Today's Europe

'Bought & Sold' (image The Guardian)

Ghislaine Maxwell is currently standing trial for sex trafficking. Jeffrey Epstein committed suicide in order not to. December 02 is the International Day for the Abolition of Slavery. This year I want to discuss a story from 2015 about a British girl on holiday in Greece. As a 14-year-old, Megan Stephens fell in love. But her boyfriend turned out to be a pimp who trafficked her for six years.