Close Encounters of the Harshest, Happiest Kind

Ever wondered what a Disney princess looks like in an alternate femdom universe? Look no further than this image by fetish illustrator Moon Eater. 

Being forced to drool is so cool. Imagine what it would be like to sign up for Disney+ in an alternate femdom universe. And I'm stuck here. So unfair. (Image: Moon Eater on Patreon/Twitter)

What makes femdom work for me is the connection between two people, something that 99 percent of femdom images lack. Not in this one. It suggests a strong connection between mistress and slave. The physical intimacy is undeniable and beautifully captured. She is so close, he literally can feel the warmth radiating from his mistress, only inches away. At the same time she can hear even the slightest whisper toyboy makes while he's slowly crushed under pressure. Despite that he looks happy and serene, but the latter is probably an illusion.

That's Mistress Van Helsing To You

The BBC does self-flaggelation better than anyone else, but is it any good? 

"My name is Mistress Van Helsing, Count. Is that tomato ketchup or are you [secretly] happy to suffer for me?" (Image: Dracula, BBC)

Now that the holidays are over, I need a break. Christmas is not the time of year to recharge - nor is it the best way.

It's gotten so bad that I can't even come up with a single way to link the latest doctor Who episode to something femdommy. Clearly the doctor Who team isn't impressed with their work either. Why else would they skip the Christmas special two years in a row for just another New Year's episode? Kylie to the rescue. But where's Kylie when you need her?

Voyage of the Damned

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Christmas Rorschach Test

Looks innocent enough when you see it in the store.

Saw these boxers a couple of weeks ago. It made me laugh so hard that security decided to keep an eye on me. If this is your Christmas present you get from your mistress, 2020 is going to be a very long and uncomfortable year. Now that's what I call a kinky Rorschach test. Christmas sadism clearly sells. Despite that it's painful to see kids suffering on Saturday Night Live.

Will Someone Please Think About The Sisterhood. Or what happened to the OWK?

The ghost of femdom past has long abandoned the OWK. The ghost of femdom present needs to be sacked for failing their job. Let's hope the ghost of femdom future knows what's at stake. Believe it or not, despite the whole femdomania hype and pink symbols, the changes in the OWK are sadly not just skin deep.

Winter at the OWK with the flag fittingly hanging at half-mast.

It's bad for business to sell slaves the dream of truly unimaginable suffering. What slave chooses to spend the night with other hapless men, naked in a dab, dark stable, rather than [at least] under mistress' bed. The Other World Kingdom (OWK) is located in the heart of the Czech Republic where in wintertime temperatures at night drop to minus 10 degrees Celsius (-14 degrees Fahrenheit). There are some things no amount of male companionship can make up for.

Black Friday

Real [sic] men know goddesses come in all shapes, sizes and colours. Even better, there's one waiting for each and everyone of us. Kind of. We're waiting for them. Commerce understands, so why don't femdom proprietors do?

You make me smile. Friends for life? (Mistress Her & Mistress Kara. Image: Mistress Tangent)

Before we continue, this post is written by a guy. He is male, Caucasian and born around the time the first man (men?) landed on the moon. Also with several three piece suits in my wardrobe. Hello everyone, it's me, Dutch. Don't say I didn't warn you.

Black Friday is the fourth Friday of November and is regarded as the beginning of America's Christmas shopping season. Black Friday has routinely been the busiest shopping day of the year in the United States for most of the century.

Child Goddesses of Nepal

"goddesses inside the temples but mere objects outside"

Writing about child goddesses as this year's post about modern day slavery is an unusual choice, I agree. It's not exactly slavery but these very young girls aren't free either.

Caretakers, tantric priests, and other helpers cocoon the royal Kumari of Kathmandu. (Image: National Geographic)

Last year I wrote about how queen Elisabeth made a former New Zealand sex worker a dame in her birthday honours. That must have made it even harder for her majesty to deal with the fact that her second son, prince Andrew, partied with convicted pedophile Jeffrey Epstein. British tabloid the Daily Mail has published footage of the Duke of York in Epstein's Manhattan mansion in 2010. When you see how young some of these girls are, you know just how wrong it is.

The OWK Had A Good Run

That's all folks!

The tower of the OWK at Černá with a leaning cross, suggesting better days are in the past.

As a guy, born around the time the first man landed on the moon, maintaining a blog suitable for all ages is becoming more and more difficult. Good luck explaining to millennials what a rotary phone is or a compass. Don't look at your phone kids, it can't help you.

Let's hope kinky millennials know what the Other World Kingdom (OWK) is. For femdom's sake, just ignore the irony of that name. The OWK was a compound where people could live the femdom lifestyle. At a price. The femdom kingdom was founded shortly after the fall of the Berlin Wall and coincides with the rise of the internet. Lucky OWK, for it allowed the realm to make some money on the side by hawking images and video clips during those cold winter months when everyone retreated to Prague and every other fun-sun-filled places in the world.

"If Only I Had Listened To My Wife"

Well, that ain't gonna happen overnight. Being my wife, I mean. Every woman I meet these days has a full latex wardrobe, obviously. You have to bring something else to the table, something special that makes me sit up and listen. Until lightning strikes again, I read books, boring books. Books in Dutch. Stories about businesses that go bankrupt for instance.

James Bond is a Woman

Why do Bond villains care more about insanely complex torture scenes than conquering the world so they can blow it up?

Daniel Craig, Naomie Harris and Lashana Lynch (image: The Guardian)

Pardon my English, but have you ever wondered if the seventh Bond is also the realest (apologies) 007? Seems to good to be a coincidence.

Kim Philby is perhaps the most revered spy ever. That is, if you consider him a craftsman rather than a traitor. Philby was a British intelligence officer and a double agent for the Soviet Union. Recruited by the Soviets in 1940, he quickly rose through the ranks of MI6. During the Second World War, one of the young blades of British intelligence who rubbed shoulders with Philby was a junior officer in the Naval Intelligence Department, named Ian Fleming. Mr. Fleming would later become famous as the author of James Bond.

Twist 'n' Shout - Toilet Paper Edition

Public service announcement from the country that brought you Yapoo, the human furniture. 

When mistress' best use for you as her slave is that of a human toilet paper holder, you either need to upgrade your slave skills or your mistress.

Whether you like it or not, the 50/50 happiness rule also applies to femdom even if you pride yourself on being the most submissive creature on the planet. In the end, your suffering and devotion must have positive meaning.

Enter the realm of boredom. Mistress may love it to dress you up as a prop and discard you, but if your only thought - even with nipple clamps on - is one of boredom, the game is up.

Suffering, submission, selflessness and devotion are all emotions that can bring about happiness, one way or another. Boredom is the absence and opposite of emotion, positive or negative. The only lesson it teaches you is to move on sooner next time.

Don't ask me about the difference between boredom and bondage, it's a question I cannot answer. The best I can do is to explain that to me boredom equals loneliness while bondage symbolizes two people, mistress and slave both surrendering part of who they are in a most complicated manner. If all of this confuses you, no worries, it's cocktails by the beach time for uncollared slaves like me. Loving it.

It's just that today's image resonates with me for two reasons. Those few precious seconds every single day when you are allowed to serve must hurt like hell. Usually that's part of the plan. It's also boring as hell, something even the femdom police frowns upon. Time to up your game.