What's on a Man's Mind

Yes, you were thinking the same thing I was, when you just saw this image. We're both wrong. The image belongs to an article discussing buying a new kitchen. I found it in today's (Dutch) newspaper. No need to run it through Google translate, same old, same old. She decides. Took him a while to realise. Odd choice for an image though.

Reduced Empathy – Scientists Looking for Glory

In today’s fake news: [i] researchers in China ‘discover’ female subs, but not necessarily male ones, suffer from reduced empathy. The research looks flawed at best. Now imagine you are a submissive woman, getting a divorce. The story of the perils researching the BDSM community, motivated solely by “scientists’” quest for glory and fame.

Lady Samantha, German pro-domme with a degree in psychology.

Femdom Resource [ii] dug up an interesting piece of research. Unfortunately the result of all that science is not so benign. It's outcome was popularized for the masses (people like you and me) in Psypost's attempt to clickbait its readers. That's where doubtful science turned nasty. No other way to explain how the first bullet point from the Science Direct abstract:

"Involving in BDSM relationships and practices did not necessarily result in weaken empathy abilities."

magically turns into this headline:

"Female submissives have reduced empathy to others’ suffering, study on BDSM finds"

Ghomeshi and Kavanaugh: Bread and Circusses

A few days ago Jian Ghomeshi wrote an essay for The New York Review of Books called Reflections from a Hashtag. The backlash makes little sense, especially compared to the accusations against judge Kavanaugh.

"Don't speak"

In 2014 Mr. Ghomeshi, a Canadian radio host, was accused of having rough, at times non-consensual sex with several women. CBC, his employer, subsequently fired him. At his 2016 trial he was acquitted. A second one was cancelled after he reached an agreement with a fourth accuser. There was no admission of guilt.

I found out about the story because Quartz, a business publication, defended his right to have non-traditional sex. Based on the article, I agreed. Once more details surfaced, it no longer was about having an alternative sexual preference, but whether or not Mr. Ghomeshi abused these women. All in all, 19 came forward.

The Bride Who Makes FindomZillas Look Good

Don't you feel being charged to attend a wedding is like being cheated? Love is priceless, so why put a price on friendship?

"How sweet it is to be loved by you"

Dutch here. Dear all, I'm happy to announce mistress and I are going to get married. We've been together from the age of 14. To be honest, it was long overdue. We saved up about EUR 15.000 for our wedding, so that's kind of OK. However after consulting a leading psychic we learned that having a destination wedding is necessary for our cosmic energy rays or whatever to align properly. Celestial nonsense and so on. It's why we choose the beautiful island of Aruba for the ceremony. Unfortunately it also comes with a sticker price of EUR 60.000. Because of that every guest has to pay up. The price is EUR 1.500 or else no entry to our wedding. Please note your contribution does not include transport and accommodation while on the island. Please send your cheques ASAP.

Too Much Information

There is limited acceptance at best of people who enjoy BDSM and that will probably never change. All the more reason to be vigilant about your privacy, especially if you write a high profile book.

Chilling after a long day at the office, just don't tell anyone.

There is a new book out on Donald Trump. Yes, another one. Surprisingly it got less attention than other recent Trump bashings. In "Everything Trump Touches Dies" former GOP strategist Rick Wilson shares his unfiltered opinion about the people that work for the 45th President of the United States thinly disguised as an analysis of everything that's wrong.

Don't worry, this blog is not about politics, it's about kink. Reading the book I found myself wondering just how much information we divulge by accident.

"It must be the broad masochistic streak among lobbyists that keeps legions of dominatrices in business in Washington, DC." [p. 38]

Mistress Dometria of the Brighton Dungeon Passes Away

Over the years certain dommes, even if you have never met them, become kinkster household names. Brighton-based mistress Dometria is one of them. She passed away two weeks ago on August 03.

I remember how for several years a certain domme on one of the boards tried to temper my rebellious nature by threatening me with mistress Dometria. How did she know? Simply, I confessed to being scared of her, the good kind of fear. "Behave Dutch or I'll ask Mistress Dometria to pay you a visit!"

Now that I think back of it, it puts a smile on my face. She would have been too much to handle for me. What attracted me in her is her brazen, undiluted kink pedigree, which feels increasingly rare these days.

Mistress Dometria is considered a hardcore mistresses, the kind of what you see is what you get. She did advertise herself like that on her Brighton Dungeon website. "I am Mistress Dometria – I am the world’s harshest, most hardcore, BDSM Dominatrix!"

Apart from BDSM, Koulla Kakoulli's other passions included body building. In her early fifties she still enjoyed competitions. She leaves behind five children. They have set up a crowd funding campaign raising money for her funeral.

Humiliation is Coming Home

The 2018 football worldcup in Russia is the biggest stage on this planet there is. Loose despite the odds, just how desperate do you want to be humiliated?

Goal! (Image: unknown)

The 2018 football world cup is one full of surprises. Friends are familiair with my theory how the German team only stops fighting five minutes after the game has ended. Then again, I also predicted Brazil to win the cup, both in 2014 on their home turf, and in Russia this year.

Serious, Safe Kink - of Gurkha's and Special Forces

Imagine a world where you're safe from harm, but not from pain or anything else that comes with being a slave. It also happens in the real world and is called special forces selection.

Just bite your tongue, soldier.

The other day I read a comment about a guy looking for a sadistic but sane mistress. Don't we all? Doesn't mean he's wrong. The kink world is rife with imposters. They are mostly men, Dexter anyone? Unfortunately there are also a lot of undesirable female elements in the BDSM community. Nobody notices - or speaks out - because we live in a 20 to one world.

Beauty of Bondage, Visualized

Forget about the red dress, that's just my thing. The moment you see this image you just think: awesome. It's beautiful, spacious without distractions. Effortless harmony, as in together in distance. It even has different shades of white in the background. My posts are usually rather long. Not this time. Neither art, nor beauty or happiness should be dissected. Let's leave that to Hallmark and Disney.
 
The photographer is "René de Sans: From their official Twitter account: "I am a Berlin based artist, photographer & filmmaker. My work's prominent focus is on the diverse facets of kink, sexuality and human expression."

Ropes are by Kitty Mooschief, who tweets under the name Caritia. Her website is here.

The model is Bishop, his Facebook here.

Toy Story in Black & White

A selection of harmless images, displaying BDSM toys, all very tasteful. :)



Toys, toys, toys, they are mistress' privilige and a slave's preference, so choose wisely. I've confessed before how I am a gearhead when it comes to kink. Some think that is wrong, but hey, it's been a while since I last teased the femdom police, so here we go. A 'tasteful' selection of 11 black and white images of kinky toys. After all, there are no shades of grey once you enter the Dark Side, just cookies.

Of Queens, Art & Irony - Why Are We Afraid of Sex?

In this second half of my short series discussing queen Elizabeth making a former sex worker a dame, I wonder why is the West is so petrified of sex. Most likely answer? Religion.

Mirror, mirror on the wall, why is there so much hate?
"Darkness cannot drive out darkness; only light can do that.
Hate cannot drive out hate; only love can do that."
- Martin Luther King, Jr.
 (image: mistress Chiaki)

Some days my typewriter is more willing than others. For quite some time I've wanted to write about the similarities between pro-dommes who stand out and geishas, traditional Japanese female entertainers, but my keyboard says no. Geishas are also called geikos (芸妓), which translates specifically as "Woman of Art."