Everyday Sadism

Sadism is not limited to kink. Chances are you already met one or more sadists in the office.

Kink is not all fun and games. We all know a number of dominant players who are untrustworthy, dishonest or just plain danger. That is before you start to think of those bad, dangerous people who seek refuge in the kink community. Quite a few of those scary monsters don't care about wrong or right. It is just as irrelevant to them as the difference between consensual and non-consensual.

Bring Back Our Girls. Now & Alive

New Year's Day 2017. It's been 993 days since 217 girls were abducted in Nigeria. They are still not home. Happy New Year!

Hope Endures

To be honest, I never believed they were "our" girls in the first place. Then again, nobody ever did, albeit for different reasons. A classic tale about climbing the Mount Everest has it that the first people to conquer it, ran into Coca Cola paraphernalia at various hights on their way to the top. After a successful return to base, they were puzzled, conveniently ignoring the fact the being the first high profile Westerner to climb the mountain is not the same as the first person - i.e. local - to conquer it.

Secret Society of Sadistic Secretaries SOS Part IV: The Ties That Bind

The Ties that Bind

Part Four of the Secret Society of Sadistic Secretaries. Part Three: Here

A fictional tale about a real world secret


In order to be tax-deductible these kind of conventions have to be business related before happy hour starts. Usually a panel discussion solves that. More often than not they are frivolous time wasters. The sadistic secretaries had taken a different approach altogether and engaged in a serious discussion on how to control and own your boss. On the invoice it probably looks something like "attendance HTCAOYB conference 2016" but who cares.

Before the discussion started, several speakers explained how they handled their bosses, not that boss is the proper term given the context. What was most palpable was the enthusiasm with which they told about how they controlled those men. Highly creative also.

Secret Society of Sadistic Secretaries SOS Part III: Showtime

SOS Part III: Showtime

Part Three of the Secret Society of Sadistic Secretaries. Part Two: Here

A fictional tale about a real world secret


Is that your boi? I heard some pride in mistress voice as she said yes.

"Come on slavey" the strange voice said. Keeping me on a short leash, the lady walked me towards the entrance of a large building. Mistress was nowhere in sight and I started to freak out. In the main hall, the mysterious woman tied me to a pillar and left me alone as a large gathering of women slowly drifted by. Not one of them was the least surprised. I felt naked without mistress. I didn't care I had no clothes on. I felt vulnerable without her.

As it turned out later, this was the easy part.

As it turned out later, she was right behind me the whole time. I should have know, but fear took over.

Disney Dommes: Which Villainess has the most Dominatrix Pedigree?

Disney is often criticized for how it portrays women: mostly subjugated with one exception: the female villains. That made me wonder which female Disney villain is a dominatrix in disguise?

Helga Sinclair, underappreciated Disney villainess in jodhpurs. (Image: MPaulaFranco)

Some years ago I spent Christmas Day in Cairo. After I got up, Robin Williams began dressing up as Mrs. Doubtfire for the umpteenth time. My mostly British fellow travellers clearly considered the movie part of a cherished Christmas tradition. Dutch being Dutch didn't quite agree. Then again my list of Christmas movies doesn't include The Sound of Music either. I prefer Charlie and the Chocolate Factory, the original one with Gene Wilder. And yes whenever kids are around, Disney is always a good Christmas choice. Just don't mix Bambi with your Christmas Dinner.

True Love is the Ultimate Submission

Today - Christmas Day - a special love story - sad and painful to read. How my mother passed away and how my dad stood by her, no matter what.

To love is to serve and be served. Who cares?

The old man tied the balloons to their house and let go. Pretty good as your back-up Personal Legend, don’t you think so? Just before lift-off the movie Up has this one shot. A pivotal one, where a sign on the wall says: "Death ends a life, not a relationship" Deep down, we all know it's true.  Yet it takes an animated motion picture to make us realize such a simple truth.

Kink vs Love - Two Tribes

Servitude is all about you. Love is about her. In the spirit of Christmas Future - aka tomorrow - I am wondering about the deeper nature of servitude in all its forms.

When love takes over.

Time for some banter these last days of December. Just heard that Christmas Classic “The Power of Love” by Frankie goes to Hollywood on the radio. It reminded me of their 1980’s smash hit “Two Tribes”. Hard to imagine these days, but the Eighties were the height of the Cold War. Civilisation could be wiped out any moment because of the atomic bomb.

When it comes to kink there are also two tribes that often clash: love and servitude. So what if love and servitude would have to battle it out in the arena of devotion. Who would win?

Secret Society of Sadistic Secretaries SOS Part II: An Eventful Afternoon

An Eventful Afternoon

Part Two of the Secret Society of Sadistic Secretaries. Part One: Here

A fictional tale about a real world secret


It took mistress and me years to get where we are now, but I am finally able to completely surrender to mistress. In all fairness, it's the woman - not the mistress - I give myself up to. Doesn't mean it isn't hard or difficult every single time but if you look at kink as an extension of your relationship - rather than a replacement - happy femdom exists by the grace of a healthy, loving relationship.

"Tell me again Dutch: Who is in charge?

Sharing our kink with others makes me feel uncomfortable - as in outside of our 2-person bubble. The whole Sadistic Secretary thing was too much already. What if we run into someone I knew? What if my very own secretary showed up?  However the dice had been cast and I had no choice but to comply.

Secret Society of Sadistic Secretaries SOS Part I: The Day Before

The Day Before

Part One of the Secret Society of Sadistic Secretaries

A fictional tale about a real world secret


There are many secret societies around the globe, but once the world finds about you, it is silly to hang on to the adjective secret. Then there are those institutions that are truly private. One of them is the Secret Society of Sadistic Secretaries. Hindsight is always 20/20 and upon hearing about it, it made sense. There are those who believe they are in charge and then there are the ones who are really in charge.

White collar workers are very much aware who really rules their world - the secretaries or management assistants as they are called nowadays. I have encountered many, some sweet, others beyond bitchy. Some are hired for their good looks and others are simply phenomenal. What I didn't know is that a number of them congregate once a year. Those in attendance share one characteristic: they are sadists. Most people understand how a nurse can be a sadist or perhaps a dentist, but a secretary? Well think again, cause once you step into the office, you enter their domain, which they usually run with an iron fist, without you being aware of it. That said, some have rather unusual methods to support and guide their bosses.

Filthy Shades Part IV - The Biggest Insult to the BDSM Community Ever

Never been a fan of Fifty Shades, but rewriting history with part four of the shady trilogy, gets me cross.  There is no cure and nobody oughta look for one. No excuses. We all are who we are. Period.

At least they got the parental advisory right.

Today's world chops up each and every "life experience" into easily digestable slices intended for riskfree and smooth consumption. To live is no longer to experience, but being able to brag about homogeneous, bland and zero-risk – whatever – thingies. All that matters is to cross it off your bucket list. Whatever it is.  One tweet is all you are allowed to enjoyed. Followed by an endless parade of your 1,000 closest friends who trumph you by saying: "Been there, done that. What took you so long?" The burden of modern day society: aka conformity. Not playing by the rules is even worse. Haven't swam in boiling hot lava before the age of ten? Your life is over before it begins. Jump into an active volcano and just get it over with.

Modern Day Slavery - 11 Articles

December 02 is the annual  International Day for the Abolition of Slavery. Me so [real] horny gets boring after a while. Once a year I write about modern day slavery and real people, whose suffering is real. This year a selection of 11 articles that chronicle modern day slavery.

Slavery, a 21st century evil

The freedom to make your own choices - especially when it comes to playing games, no matter how weird they are - is a privilege. In the real world millions of people live in terrible conditions that are so bad that they are referred to as modern day slaves. This June I wrote about a newspaper article stating that there are 17.500 modern slaves in the Netherlands. I was shocked.


We close our eyes
Western governments and its people have closed their eyes for too long when it comes to modern day slavery. The first International Day for the Abolition of Slavery was celebrated just 30 years ago. Once a year, on December 02 - International Day for the Abolition of Slavery - I write about slavery in the real world. This year I selected 11 articles that chronicle modern day slavery. So please, next time when you proudly proclaim "for us it's real", think about what you say.

Even in the "civilized' world - our world.