Fluorescent Louboutins: Yellow Is The New Red

Buy mistress a pair of fluorescent high heels for the holiday season and you can no longer claim you didn't see it coming or don't know what hit you.

Designed for mind games. Anticipation increases impact. (image: Miami Mean Girls)

October is the start of the Christmas shopping season - yes some people really need three months for that. Creepy, Christmas Creep or just plain over the top? Not according to US retailer Walmart. They think you should start in August.

Everybody knows chocolate, not diamonds, is a girl's best friend. On top of that some women pick shoes over diamonds any day. Being a diamond is hard.

A good slave is like a soldier, always on guard, especially when it comes to prezzies. If you want to buy mistress something special and her play space [1] already holds all the Christian Louboutins ever made, how about some fluorescent high heels? Don't worry, I don't get it either, but you simply can't go wrong with shoes. Be careful with the pants in the image though, those are considered high risk.

Houston, we have lift-off. Look close. (image: Miami Mean Girls)

Notes:
[1] Don't be fooled. Play space is mistress' pet name for the most important room in the house, the Imelda Marcos shoe room.

Trust: The Secret Ingredient In All Relationships

If a husband and wife share an interest in femdom, but never talk about it during many decades of marriage, what's the point?

I'm lovin' it. But how do I tell thee, my love?

Something's missing

Is it love when there is physical intimacy but not mental intimacy? Two people loving each other, yet living their separate lives, without knowing they want the same thing. Two people who are even more compatible than they think, somehow mess it up. Guess it means if you love her but find it hard to talk to her, try harder. Trust or loose.

We can all list the things we do for love. Swap love for femdom and ask yourself, is the sub really sacrificing his happiness to please his mistress? I’ve often wondered whether BDSM isn’t simply love with a bit of pain and role play added to it. Bringing it up can be hard. If you love someone, you want them to spare the pain of something – you  assume – will disgust them.

Personally I don’t tell the ones I loves – family, friends – I am into kink. I do not want to burden them with something they most likely cannot understand. They love me and I love them. But what if you fall in love with someone and worry that your kinky desires will drive them away. Is it wrong to bottle up your feeling and be with the one you love?

Trust, not numbers, is what matters

Researching the Domme Deficit I ran into a sad story Labcoat Lingerie reprinted from Edukink. In “One of the 19” Fuzz writes about her first femdom experience in secondary school, long before she knew what  it was – just like me. It made her wonder why male subs outnumber female dommes 20 to 1. According to Bitchy Jones the other 19 female dommes are “missing”. That only works if you assume the number of female dommes equals the supply of available subs. I wish that were true. What if for every 20 women who love the romantic movie “The Notebook”, only one man does so. Are 19 missing or did they never exist in the first place? There are any number of reasons why someone doesn’t share her kink feelings with the man she loves. Sometimes a fantasy should remain just that. Perhaps she wasn’t ready. Maybe their relationship lacked trust.

A man who came to an introductory BDSM event, for his first time, at quite an advanced age.

“What kept you away so long?” they asked him.

“Well,” he said, “I always knew I was kinky, but I was married for a long time and I figured my wife wouldn’t be into it. Not long ago, though, my wife passed away …

… and then I read her diary.”

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Notes

Whatever the reason she didn't share her feelings, it is a sad story. It leaves the question if you should read her diary after she passes away when she didn't confide in you when she was your wife.

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Jian Ghomeshi Pleads Not Guilty

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A Smiling Domme Means More Than Just Happiness

Like all men, I am a sucker for beautiful women. What separates mere Barbies from true Beauties is what is hidden underneath. Who is she? Personality and character can't be observed from the outside, yet guide men into whom they loose their heart to. Her smile is the only visible clue of the kind of woman she is. Like gravity on steroids, it enslaves us. A force no man can resist. Or wants to.

Remember the plan? Love may hurt but kink is fun for two.

Nothing makes me happier than a happy domme. Of course I know every twue slave says so, but I mean something different. I am talking about a happy domme, as in a dominant woman smiling while dominating her property. To me that is the very best life has to offer.

Medieval Torture Devices: One Way to Flog an Average TV Show

The opening credits for The Bastard Executioner feature a number of medieval torture instruments, dripping in blood.  Gore in an attempt to hype a mediocre show. A reminder of play vs the real world and a caution that psychopaths are part of the BDSM community.

1. Not exactly Game of Thrones

One time I ended up in one of the darker corners of Fetlife: something about the deepest fantasies of sadists. It was pretty ugly and non-consensual. I remember one woman describing how she dreamt of torturing a man, chopping of his limbs and other body parts before finally killing him. Some commenters applauded her for the intensity of her deepest desires.

Never Normal: Gotham's Sadistic Bad Girl

Fifty Shades is no more than a look in the world of weirdo's for bored suburbians. And it works brilliantly. The new TV season has kicked of in full and just like last year scriptwriters and directors use and abuse BDSM - or what they think it stands for - to paint a portrait of the depraved villains. 

Blondes are more boring. The women with whips have arrived.

Making sure the audience knows who the bad guys are.

I tried to give a positive spin to femdom on television but the forces of evil are so overwhelming, I had to give up. So I came up with the hashtag #NeverNormal. Yes it works both ways, something the voyeurs overlook.

Serena Williams: How Commerce Sustains Discrimination

Hard work and real dominance are underappreciated.  Stereotypes are overrated. What can BDSM learn from the ordeal of one of the world's best athletes ever?

Real world dominance only comes in one flavour: Hard work.

Some dommes drooled over Furiosa in the latest Mad Max movie. Well, get a load of this: Serena Williams. This woman impresses men the right way: feminine, accomplished, forceful and (not sorry to say) sexy! Who wants a sniper rifle, when all you need is a tennis racket and determination? BTW, I love her smile. Don't you?

Once I Dreamt of Building Mistress a Throne

Long ago I decided that one day I was going to build mistress her very own throne, all by myself. When I saw the perfect throne, I realized, I had never given up on that idea. Learn from me. Don't dream big, it complicates everything.

My imagination running wild, or do the two columns look like 1's. Coincidence?
(Image: Guardian by Naomi VanDoren)

Most of the time I come up with innovative, useful and creative ideas. Only when it comes to kink, my otherwise brilliant plans are deemed to fail. Don't know why. But even if you fail, better do it big and in style.

Why walk? Croquet, the Nigella Lawson Way: In a Sedan

Ever been to the Other Work Kingdom, Nigella? I'm sure you'd love it.

Life is full of irony. When Piggate broke, I felt the urge to demand David Cameron redefined "extreme porn." Clearly he and other members of Britain's establishment had a good time at uni. So did I.

The Guardian decided to add a twist of its own, publishing images of the young and wealthy partying as Oxford students in the 1980s. Other than prime minister David Cameron luminaries include actor Hugh Grant and TV chef Nigella Lawson. Just look at the image and tell me its not femdom-related. Art imitates life. So does femdom. I know of similar images from the OWK and at least one Sardax drawing. Anything to confess Miss Lawson?

Dommes In Innocent-Looking Polka Dot Dresses

Does the uniform matter when it comes to power exchange? If so, what uniform to choose? Some consider the polka dot dress the ultimate in femine attire, but doesn't that make it a uniform at the same time. A bit of light-hearted writing today and for the time being a little less grumpy.

A twist on a classic theme: red bottom meets green dress

Sometimes kink is like really odd. A Tumblr user photo-shopped a sign outside a church. It now reads: "Pleated Skirt Sunday. Ladies wear a nice pleated skirt in church as part of your proper feminine attire for church."

Sub Surplus: Why "It's Raining Men" Is Not A Good Thing

Domme Deficit or Sub Surplus: Men raining down from the heavens above is always a bad thing. Not because we are trouble. It messes with your mind and replaces "needs" with "wants" and "can have's".

You know? In the end most men would love to rain down on women.
That is, if they end up with a fun girl, Don't act surprised. You knew all along. We love you.

Remember that 1980s song: "It's Raining Men?" Sounds like a good thing if you are a woman, now doesn't it? Well, sometimes it ain't. The sub surplus is the worst thing that ever happened to dominant women. Spoilt for choice - or so it seems initially - some get greedy. Rather than thinking about what they really want, they ask for all they can have, whether or not they really like it. You know, because "Yes, we can." Don't worry, they'll regret it later. And their subs as wel.