Thursday, April 24, 2014

The tchurch of twue BDSM strikes again

Tumblr is an inexhaustible source of twue BDSM wisdom. Yesterday a real beauty showed up in my stream – a true gem. It was called: "The BDSM Pyramid." The author got everything right, down to the spelling of Femdom and fem sub.

The BDSM hierachy

Let's not talk

Discussions about BDSM are often frustrating. There is always someone who does not like what you write. The most common complaint is that you do not show proper respect for their 'lifestyle choices', at which point you become fair game and any hope of a grown up discussion goes out the window. If you are lucky they think you are ignorant and say you do not understand their 'lifestyle choices.' It took me a while to learn that lifestyle choices had nothing to do with interior design.

Discussions become impossible when subs forget they are allowed to have an opinion or dommes assume their self-proclaimed superiority automatically translates into superb reasoning skills. If that were true world hunger would have been solved at the dawn of time. The desire for BDSM runs deep in most of us. So deep that some people are unable to step out of character or start to believe their preferences are universal BDSM truths, if such exist. That is when a twue-ist is born. A twue-ist is a fundamentalist who tries to force others to see BDSM his or her way, often with religious fervour.

Twue-ists

The BDSM pyramid is a great example of twue-ism. Posted within a 24/7 TPE context, it gave me a good laugh but it does not make sense. I never knew I needed a pyramid to tell me where I stand. Femdom is the zenith of the BDSM pyramid. Maledom is subordinate to femdom but superior to femsub. The lowest of the lowest is reserved for male subs.
My kink is exclusively geared toward women which makes the position of male dominants irrelevant. A twue maledom who thinks otherwise will soon find his beliefs challenged and squashed. It does not work that way. Nora Vincent wrote a book of her eighteen months spent disguised as a man. I do not agree with her conclusions how hard it is to be a man, but the book gives some idea of why the pyramid does not make much sense to most men, dom or sub.

What if?

Lets assume for a moment the pyramid is correct. How many female dominants find a male sub who considers himself inferior to almost everyone else, attractive? In the past I have dated vanilla women. It disqualifies me as a true slave, but based on that experience I estimate most female dominants have no interest in such a slave at all. Even if I considered myself to be at bottom of the pyramid I would never be interested in a domme who finds that attractive. I am demanding and I expect a potential dominant to be the same.

The real pyramid

Based on my many years research of the Cult of Twue I designed a better hierarchy:
  1. Male doms born on February 30. Everybody knows that women are not truly dominant. Top of the pyramid belongs to men.
  2. Femme dommes wearing leather pyjamas to bed. Without a proper outfit there is no such things as twue dominance. How else can you be dominant while you sleep?
  3. Femdom
  4. Maledom
  5. Femsub
  6. Malesub
  7. Femme dommes who bake cookies. Dominant women don't bake cookies, so they must be evil witches.
  8. Male doms with a history of vanilla partners. They are not truly dominant, they are poor misguided souls.
  9. Vanilla people, because everybody knows the deepest love is between a domme and a sub. Nilla's should get with the program and read Fifty Shades. It is a realistic, non-abusive and twuely good account of BDSM. The movie will be even better with Homer Simpson as Christian Grey.

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