The Sadness of Femdom

Femdom is all about femmes and boys. That's just the way it is. Not that I would want it any other way, remember mistress Robot. Yesterday I wrote about the perceived perils of porn.

With Locktober lurking around the corner, yes it's that time of year already, no sex seems more and more attractive. But only if it's voluntary. The other day I read a story about a couple who started out as mistress and slave. Before they knew two hard-hitters teamed up: Gaia and Cupid. Feelings interfered and they became lovers. Now what?

Porn is dangerous. It makes men crave picture perfect women, like the ones they see when they watch online porn. Not that anybody asks what makes a woman perfect. And yes there is only answer. Because she is her. And of course your perfect woman is not mine. But they all are.

Twitter Femdom Is Fake

It's a sin [science/porn]

"The Disney Channel teaches you that you should hate your stepmother, Pornhub teaches you that you should make love to her." [from the comments]  

porn intimacy, femdom style

I vividly remember my first porn magazine. Around ten years old and me and the other boys in the neighbourhood were preparing for a fun fight with the next street by picking buds large enough to throw at the enemy. There it was, in the bushes, a discarded porn magazine. No more war, we all wanted to see what the fuzz was all about. Not for long. Porn was boring, stupid and gross. Within minutes we ditched the magazine where we found it.  it. That didn't last very long, we found it's boring, stupid and gross. Then we heard a fire engine and threw it back were we found it. Fire engines are so much cooler than [naked] girls. Anyway girls are stupid. All girls are stupid. Firetrucks are not. How times have changed.

Grace Jones Lets Us In On a Little Secret

Wiggle it

It's always the ones you least expect.

Surprise: found in the prop department of a 200 million super spy movie.

My previous post was about butt plugs, today is about strap-ons. Hey, I don't make the news.

So I tried to come up with some kind of intelligent answer to the question of who I am. Of course my argument derailed and I ended up giving high praise to Michelle Yeoh. Excellent choice if I may say so. We'll get back to the question of 'who is Dutch' in some future post.

There are two Bond 'girls' that are more than a match for 007. Of course there is Wai Lin, the character played by Michelle Yeoh in the 1997 movie Tomorrow Never Dies. Twelve years before the movie poster for A View To A Kill tried to lure people to the cinema, suggesting James Bond had finally met his match. Of course he did. Officially because he had sex with Mayday with her on top but out of view of the camera there is a much better, funnier reason. Also a nice contrast with Michelle Yeoh's character who is immune to Bond’s seduction techniques.

High-Tech Anal Play

Welcome to the world of adult chess

Butt it's not what you think

No, don't ask me where you can buy this. No idea.

Oh boy, where do I begin. Let's talk about Elon Musk later. Couple of years back I wrote about how the game of chess comes with free irony. It still does. More than ever.

Competitive chess is even more boring than it sounds. And no the word boring has nothing to do with Elon Musk and his Boring company. Something with holes? Perhaps, butt we'll leave that for later. Magnus Carlsen is one of the best chess players in the world. In tennis he would be Serena Williams, Roger Federer or Rafael Nadal. OK I'm kidding, chess is simply not my thing. Carlsen has the highest FIDE rating - your chess IQ - ever. There is no doubt he is much, much smarter than Elon M. My guess his mathematical intellect is on par with that of female African-American mathematicians Katherine G. Johnson, Dorothy Vaughan and Mary Jackson without whom there probably still wouldn't be a man on the moon.

The Next Mistress Catwoman

But who?

In other news: Dutch has lost his Enigma CD

Las Vengadoras Enmascaradas (1962) Masked women spring into action to catch bandits.

By now you must have watched Michelle Pfeiffer cracking the whip as she beheads four mannequins in a department store. Guess I have to rewatch Batman Returns because I have no clue why Catwoman did that.

What amazes me most is the sheer elegance with which she handles the long-tail whip. She practised for months. One time she hit her teacher, Anthony Delongis, a fight choreographer and movement teacher, in the face. And now this performance.

Catwoman: How To Bring Sex to a Neutered Franchise

Hint: Michelle Pfeiffer and perhaps a whip 

[Catsuits are so optional]

"Felines just wanna have fun." Michelle Pfeiffer jumping ropes out of the frame.

Not everybody appreciated my discussion of the song 'Whip It'. You cannot be happy all the time. Me for instance am less than thrilled when dommes who fiercely denounce prodommes [666] suddenly decide to celebrate their birthday for an entire month on Twitter. Now it's OK for random strangers to send prezzies. No bigger fall from grace than showing your double standards.

Now that I have that out of my system, let's talk about more interesting things, like whips and how a song with that word in it has nothing to do with BDSM. Of course not. After all, nobody assumes that all kink-related words that begin with an f are about findom. Yes, now I'm really done for today, so let's talk about felines, I mean whips.

Ariel Burgess' Artist Impressions of Dominant Women

As curated by mistress Sidonia of the English Mansion 

Take a walk on the wild side of art.

The character of Semirhage from 'The Wheel of Time' series of books as drawn by artist Ariel Burgess. 

Sometimes other bloggers have something that is so cool, I just have to write about. Remember Paltego's ice road truckers femdom style? [7] That image amazes me every time I see it. And now mistress Sidonia of the English Mansion, who, earlier this month, published the latest installment in her series that go by the name of 'In Blood Red'.

Don't blame me for being late, blame the Google blogger software, it refuses to show my entire blogrol. For four years now mistress Sidonia - a true femdom original - has featured the work of artist Ariel Burgess.

Green Flags in Kink

Ms. K. makes Twitter a lot more fun 

Now that's what I call enthusiastic consent. And yes dommes need to consent too. Seriously.(image Ms. K. on Twitter.)

Despite the horror show that Twitter is [1] I truly enjoyed the account of Ms. K. Loved the thing with the Workmate. Not just that Ms. K. also has lots of humor and takes safety seriously. One post that especially stands out is a retweet about green flags in kink. It's a short list with do's before you enter the dungeon. 

"understands the importance of explicit, enthusiastic consent."

Workmate or DIY Berkley Horse?

When worlds collide 

Don't believe the hype, there is no such thing as camaraderie among slaves. Friends? Forget it. How many feel sorry for a slave being punished by his mistress? Most envy him. Seriously, the guy is in trouble and all you want is to take his place? Makes me wanna cry.

Same thing with my power tools. Other slaves don't care whether or not I get 'm back. Not even a word of encouragement. [1] Not even a simple 'hang on in.' No, nothing. I keep on hoping. That one day mistress gives me back my power tools. No, not waiting for support from my fellow slaves. Those days are over.

The One Without... Regrets?

Why not make memories instead?

The eternal mistress Mir. (image: mistress Mir)

Rachel: Alright, let me see. Uma Thurman, Winona Ryder, Elizabeth Hurely, Michelle Pfeiffer, and... Dorothy Hammill?
Ross: Hey, it's my list.
Rachel: Okay, honey, you do realize she only spins like that on ice.

Friends, season three, episode five: The gang all consider what five celebrities would be on their "freebie list"--people they can sleep with without anyone getting upset; Ross finally narrows his list down by eliminating Isabella... then he bumps into her.

Ross: What? You don't think I'd go up to her?
Rachel: Ross, it took you ten years to finally admit you liked me.

Monica: Rach? Are you really gonna let him do this?
Rachel: Honey, he's about to go hit on Isabella Rossillini. I'm just sorry we don't got popcorn.

Isabella: Is that the list?
Ross: Yes.
Isabella: Can I see it?
Ross: Um, no.
Isabella: I'm not on the list!
Ross: But, see, that's not the final draft.
Isabella: It's laminated.
Ross: Okay, see, you were on my list. But then my friend, Chandler, brought up the very good point that you are international. So I bumped you for Winona Ryder. Local.
Isabella: You know, it's ironic, because I have a list of five goofy coffeehouse guys. And yesterday, I just bumped you for that guy over there.
Ross: Oh no, no, wait, wait! Isabella, don't... don't just dismiss this so fast. I mean, this is a once in a lifetime opportunity.
Isabella: Yeah, for you. 

Cold.

Spanktown School

Sounds delicious 

Look what I learned today in history class.

Glad I don't have to go back to school anymore, not even the Spanktown school.

It's late August and as I wrote last time it's back to school for the kids in Holland. According to Wikipedia - which, unlike mistress, is not always right - schools in the United States usually reopen Wednesday after Labor Day, which means early September.

Southeast of New York is the town of Rahwah, New Jersey. "Known in the last century as Spanktown, the name having been given because an early settler publicly took his spouse across his knee and chastised her." No doubt US Supreme Court Justice Amy Coney Barrett approves. I don't. All spankings should be consensual and bring people joy. Not in the heat of the moment of course but you know what I mean.

Of course Spanktown had a school, how else do you learn? It didn't survive because these days it's a cemetary which is a bit odd.

Not sure how they motivated their pupils but one can dream. Something like this perhaps?

Two teachers 'educating' a student. Some only learn the hard way.