Bounce & Facesit. Is It The New 50 Shades?

Recently gifs where women dropped themselves onto their boyfriend's face, started flooding the internet. The first time I saw one, I was baffled. Happiness raining down on you from the skies above. The second one, with her beautiful smile, just before she sits down on her sleeping boyfriend, I just loved it. I liked it so much, I labeled it "Lucky birthday boy". This third - and less inspired installment - kinda makes me wonder. Is there a hype going on?

That would be a shame. Hypes ruin the beauty of everything, especially of anything that is odd or quirky. One can never have to much fun, but no fads please. Other than that, I'm loving it (once again).

The Bodyguard: Kinky Roleplay At Its Best

Find out if he is worthy. Make him suffer by the very hands he vows to protect. Some enjoy scenarios to spice up their play. Too bad most plots are boring. But not all. Test your new bodyguard. Make sure he is up to the job. Beat him into a pulp and make him suffer, is the most creative outline, I came across in a long time.

Not impressed. Or too much fun? Round two anyone? (Image: Demolition Dommes)

Keep it simple
Some people like scenarios they can play out. Me? I prefer to keep it simple. She is my mistress and I am her slave. The natural order of things. By choice and by nature. Does it really matter? Mistress can punish you, or make you suffer any way she likes, just because she feels like it.

Nuts? Vanilla Journalist Tries On Chastity Device

One daring Vice reporter tries on a chastity device for three days. He doesn't like it. Nor does his boyfriend. He deserves some respect for trying to understand, rather than vent yet another opinion. 

Package for the package

The world is fascinated by BDSM. Some of the more adventurous types - or is it bored home-makers? - read Fifty Shades. The more daring experiment. Spoiler alert: it hurts, as intended. One Vice writer took the concept of investigative journalism to new heights. Not being into BDSM, he wore a chastity device for three days. To be honest that is pretty cool.

He loved the kinky secret, he was hiding under his pants. That is about the only thing he enjoyed about his three days locked in the device.. The author did not like being aroused, without being able to have sex. His description: a black hole of desire. No surprises there. Going to the bathroom was a bit harder as well. Who would have guessed?

A few days later his boyfriend comes over. Finding out about the experiment, he was disgusted. More interestingly, he said:

"You're not any fun without your dick anyway."

 That was after the author wondered how:

"Some guys wear these things for up to ten days. That is, pun intended, nuts."

Sarcasm Is Free: Nine Commandments for Dominant Women

Rules solve every problem there is. If you believe that, you should go into politics. Femdom is about two people who work out what femdom means to the both of them. Any mistress-slave relationship is built upon the same rules that all relationships are. There are no special femdom-only rules. It's been a while since I've seen rules this silly. Clearly someone's desires got the better of him. Read them and enjoy.

"The rule book didn't work for us, so we put it to alternative use.

In today's episode of how our desires get the better of us, a post I found on Tumblr. Apparently there are 9 commandments for dominant women. Yes that made me smile too. But why stop at 9? We all know that rule number 10 orders dominant women to sleep in leather pyjama's. How else to spot a dominant woman while she is asleep. And no it is not about me trying to sneak in my preference for women in sexy, hot, tight leather outfits. According to the addendum to the 9 rules, I am not allowed to enjoy that. The rules are never wrong.

Men Love Gifs Too. Funny Ones

It's official: women love porn gifs. Time for some light entertainment. Japan is once again the inspiration for today's selection. Other than that I enjoy 'm there is no rationale behind it.

Kid gloves for the over 18s.

A few days ago I read a story about husband who used the parental control on his internet to have sex with his wife. Rather than blocking porn sites, he used the software to block whatever websites she surfed on her tablet before she went to sleep. Talking about a disfunctional relationship.

Maid's Hand Cut Off - Modern Day Slavery At Its Worst

Once a year on December 02 - International Day for the Abolition of Slavery - I write about real world slavery. Of course it exists 385 days a year, but it is not the main topic of my blog. Neither is travelling. The story of an Indian maid in Saudi Arabia, whose hand was cut of by her employer trying to flee is what prompted me.

The insanity of it all.
Leaving it all behind to provide for your loved ones and then this.

Saudi Enigmia
For some reason, Saudi Arabia is high on my travel bucket list. As a Christian, it is not about the pilgrimage to Mecca. That would be totally disrepectful. The country is an mystery. The only time ever, they allowed foreigners into the country, was in 2014. However that year I travelled to perhaps the biggest shithole in the world, before it became like really unsafe. I didn't get blown-up and had a blast. If you think there is no bigger adrenaline rush than serving your mistress, perhaps you should come on a trip with me.

Rebellious Bratty Slaves Are Underappreciated

In all walks of life a little rebellious streak is very much appreciated. But not in femdom. That doesn't make sense. Bratty subs add value to the scene as long as they understand give and take and the nature of power exchange.

Who needs to lay on the floor when you can sit up and still feel her boot?
Good thing I like boots too. (Image: Boots Yakata: KKK-18)

We are all attracted to kink for different reasons. The 247 crowd is the most vocal in expressing their preferences, something that makes it easy to forget it is not how it works for everyone. Google "femdom" and their blogs will show up first. Reading them as part of an introduction to the mistress/slave dynamic, often leaves outsiders and interested parties with a narrow, warped view of what kink can be.

The Hidden Meaning Behind My Naughty Boy Avatar

Yesterday I discovered somebody on Tumblr copied my avatar. No problem but it makes little sense. Despite its mundane look, it has a lot of hidden meaning. Please keep the avatar, but you might want to replace my name with yours. 

That can't be me. After all I am the perfect slave.
If that's true, probably also the most boring one ever.

That image is my first 11dutch avatar. It is highly symbolic. The two stick figures literally represent two people. No surprise the one on the right is me. Mistress is on the left, that is intentional as well, as in geographical locations. The stick figures have two different colours, again for a reason. I assume, I don't have to explain why the man is on his knees as the woman holds his leash. I admit the leash is silly, I wasn't going anyway. But hey that's kink. It doesn't have to make sense 247.

Fluorescent Louboutins: Yellow Is The New Red

Buy mistress a pair of fluorescent high heels for the holiday season and you can no longer claim you didn't see it coming or don't know what hit you.

Designed for mind games. Anticipation increases impact. (image: Miami Mean Girls)

October is the start of the Christmas shopping season - yes some people really need three months for that. Creepy, Christmas Creep or just plain over the top? Not according to US retailer Walmart. They think you should start in August.

Everybody knows chocolate, not diamonds, is a girl's best friend. On top of that some women pick shoes over diamonds any day. Being a diamond is hard.

A good slave is like a soldier, always on guard, especially when it comes to prezzies. If you want to buy mistress something special and her play space [1] already holds all the Christian Louboutins ever made, how about some fluorescent high heels? Don't worry, I don't get it either, but you simply can't go wrong with shoes. Be careful with the pants in the image though, those are considered high risk.

Houston, we have lift-off. Look close. (image: Miami Mean Girls)

Notes:
[1] Don't be fooled. Play space is mistress' pet name for the most important room in the house, the Imelda Marcos shoe room.

Trust: The Secret Ingredient In All Relationships

If a husband and wife share an interest in femdom, but never talk about it during many decades of marriage, what's the point?

I'm lovin' it. But how do I tell thee, my love?

Something's missing

Is it love when there is physical intimacy but not mental intimacy? Two people loving each other, yet living their separate lives, without knowing they want the same thing. Two people who are even more compatible than they think, somehow mess it up. Guess it means if you love her but find it hard to talk to her, try harder. Trust or loose.

We can all list the things we do for love. Swap love for femdom and ask yourself, is the sub really sacrificing his happiness to please his mistress? I’ve often wondered whether BDSM isn’t simply love with a bit of pain and role play added to it. Bringing it up can be hard. If you love someone, you want them to spare the pain of something – you  assume – will disgust them.

Personally I don’t tell the ones I loves – family, friends – I am into kink. I do not want to burden them with something they most likely cannot understand. They love me and I love them. But what if you fall in love with someone and worry that your kinky desires will drive them away. Is it wrong to bottle up your feeling and be with the one you love?

Trust, not numbers, is what matters

Researching the Domme Deficit I ran into a sad story Labcoat Lingerie reprinted from Edukink. In “One of the 19” Fuzz writes about her first femdom experience in secondary school, long before she knew what  it was – just like me. It made her wonder why male subs outnumber female dommes 20 to 1. According to Bitchy Jones the other 19 female dommes are “missing”. That only works if you assume the number of female dommes equals the supply of available subs. I wish that were true. What if for every 20 women who love the romantic movie “The Notebook”, only one man does so. Are 19 missing or did they never exist in the first place? There are any number of reasons why someone doesn’t share her kink feelings with the man she loves. Sometimes a fantasy should remain just that. Perhaps she wasn’t ready. Maybe their relationship lacked trust.

A man who came to an introductory BDSM event, for his first time, at quite an advanced age.

“What kept you away so long?” they asked him.

“Well,” he said, “I always knew I was kinky, but I was married for a long time and I figured my wife wouldn’t be into it. Not long ago, though, my wife passed away …

… and then I read her diary.”

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Notes

Whatever the reason she didn't share her feelings, it is a sad story. It leaves the question if you should read her diary after she passes away when she didn't confide in you when she was your wife.

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Jian Ghomeshi Pleads Not Guilty

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A Smiling Domme Means More Than Just Happiness

Like all men, I am a sucker for beautiful women. What separates mere Barbies from true Beauties is what is hidden underneath. Who is she? Personality and character can't be observed from the outside, yet guide men into whom they loose their heart to. Her smile is the only visible clue of the kind of woman she is. Like gravity on steroids, it enslaves us. A force no man can resist. Or wants to.

Remember the plan? Love may hurt but kink is fun for two.

Nothing makes me happier than a happy domme. Of course I know every twue slave says so, but I mean something different. I am talking about a happy domme, as in a dominant woman smiling while dominating her property. To me that is the very best life has to offer.

Medieval Torture Devices: One Way to Flog an Average TV Show

The opening credits for The Bastard Executioner feature a number of medieval torture instruments, dripping in blood.  Gore in an attempt to hype a mediocre show. A reminder of play vs the real world and a caution that psychopaths are part of the BDSM community.

1. Not exactly Game of Thrones

One time I ended up in one of the darker corners of Fetlife: something about the deepest fantasies of sadists. It was pretty ugly and non-consensual. I remember one woman describing how she dreamt of torturing a man, chopping of his limbs and other body parts before finally killing him. Some commenters applauded her for the intensity of her deepest desires.

Never Normal: Gotham's Sadistic Bad Girl

Fifty Shades is no more than a look in the world of weirdo's for bored suburbians. And it works brilliantly. The new TV season has kicked of in full and just like last year scriptwriters and directors use and abuse BDSM - or what they think it stands for - to paint a portrait of the depraved villains. 

Blondes are more boring. The women with whips have arrived.

Making sure the audience knows who the bad guys are.

I tried to give a positive spin to femdom on television but the forces of evil are so overwhelming, I had to give up. So I came up with the hashtag #NeverNormal. Yes it works both ways, something the voyeurs overlook.