Friday, July 03, 2020

Tabook

Overcoming your embarrassment by buying a book on bondage? Kink is [still] not a self-help book. Come on! 

"While browsing the bookstore 19-year-old Gwen is unexpectedly drawn to a volume of kinky erotica, earning her disapproving glares from the other customers. Will Gwen follow her deepest desires or will she let her embarrassment restrain her?"

Go Gwen, Go! Don't believe the [official] hype, if you are a domme, you are a domme. Don't let a government moviebook belittle your dreams and desires!

We Dutch do it differently. Not only do we have to hand back our passports when we don't act frugal while traveling abroad, we also spend money foolishly on "the" arts. Extra cash if it's kinda controversial, which puts me in a bind after watching Tabook, a short animated movie.

Bondage is awesome. It's not better than sex or kissing the woman who loves you back [best ever!], but it's still awesome. Also, at times very scary. And yes, fear can be fun, but I'm struggling to explain. Let's just hope someone comes to my aid and sets me free - mentally - so I can type up the words and make you understand.

Until that day, I pay my taxes like everyone else. It's a necessary evil, just like going to the dentist. By the way, she must hate her assistant because no man ever complains just how much it hurts when she smiles. I'll leave that for another time.

Despite the Netherlands being one of the richest countries in the world, most dental care you have to pay for yourself. No problem, but what does "our" government do will all that money "they" save on not providing dental care like they used to? Take a deep breath, because you won't believe it. The government sends that pile of cash to "independent" directors, in order to make movies about the virtues of  bondage. Kind of, our rulers believe the outcome promotes free choice in reading by making a funny short. In reality it feels more like Parliament tries to humiliate Fifty Shades. After all, the first movie in the series was released shortly before Tabook was. That's why it's no coincidence the book only shows damsels in distress

No wonder the Netherlands never had a female prime minster. As for the latest, [high] potential first female PM, Mona Keijzer (Keijzer means Emperor), she says the discussion about racism only relates to the Netherlands' major cities. (link in Dutch) Dutch - that's me! - is still, and forever, in favour of promoting bondage, heavily and heavenly so. But isn't discrimination worse than feeling embarrassed? Perhaps money spent on making funny shorts is better spent on battling racism.

"Is it a gift?" (Image: Studio Pupil)

So what happened? Just discovered BDSMLR, an adult offspring of Tumblr where Vanilla is outlawed and ran into something very funny. Tabook is a sweet 3-minute 2016 film about overcoming shame. It's concept was chosen as part of an initiative to bring back shorts to Dutch cinemas.

Kink, sex and candy bars, it's all the same. If you like 'm, nothings gonna stop your craving other than to give into it. Just give it a little time. Apart from Dutch wondering why my native country feels the need to prioritize spending money on short movies like this, I absolutely love it.

Dutch loves kink, cartoons and creativity. Check, check and triple check. Despite the fact that the money spent on Tabook could have been better spent elsewhere, the 2:47 short comic is funny. Especially the wrapping part. Just watch it, no need to be fluent in Dutch. If you love bondage, this clip wraps it up more than nicely. Still, my tax money?

Tabook by Studio Pupil

Anyway, the problem with Gwen's "deepest desires" is that both the artists and government already have decided women are submissive [and hence desire to be tied up] and man are dominant. That's what you get when you let the inmates run the asylum. Let me show you:

Her [Damsel] in distress

Her over daddy's knee.

Her frolicking on a leash.

Now you get it? As for the Madame [B]ovary pun, it's pretty bad [1]. But hey, the original novel is written in French. And the lead character is a woman who eventually kills herself, because she feels bound by society's rigid rules, so why not? But no jokes about Nietzche? Why not call him Nietszche, if only for us Dutch viewers. After all, the man believed there was no such things as right or wrong. And switching the s and z, makes his name sound like "niets", the Dutch word for nothng. But no, we don't do that because he is a respected [male] philospher.

After all that brilliant, cool and caring logic, here is my supersmart, ueber-sneaky superiror, selfless selfpromotion: "Slave Dutch - best in the world - is willing to be punished for the sins of the Netherlands' politicians and filmmakers. "Hot dommes in sexy leather outfits only please. Only those with the exquisite skill of dominating me exactly the way I want, need to apply." Errm, need, want to apply, I guess. Whatever. How else can I do proper penance for the sins of my Flatherland?

Anyway, there's a hidden message in everything, whether you pay your taxes or not. Don't let the government get involved. Just don't. It's for the best.

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[1] Let's just hope that pun is not a paid message to promote Goopy Gwen's profitable but self-destructive lifestyle.

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