Silly Science: BDSM as a Tourist Destination

When science turns to studying BDSM, the results are more than a bit odd. Nobody compares BDSM to tourism.

Not suited for accidental tourists.

We all are who we are. Our sexuality is for the most part genetically defined. Despite that BDSM is a long way from being generally accepted. Let me give you a recent example. According to IT website The Register: "A prominent contributor to the open source Drupal content management system has been asked to distance himself from project because his belief system is inconsistent with [the] project's goals."

Fifty Shades Darker

They just had to do it, again.

This February, two years ago, I pitied the fool who got tickets to see the original "Fifty Shades" movie on Valentine's Day. I even came up with a list of movies to see instead. I'm quite sure watching "Fifty Shades" wreaked havoc - of a different kind - on many a relationship. Unintended consequences and so on.

Fifty Shades Darker (Image: The New York Times)

San Francisco Armory: From Kink HQ to Musical Venue

end of an era

The Armory is a BDSM movie studio - a haven perhaps - that stands out for its educational qualities. The 200.000 sq foot building will soon be converted into a musical theatre. Yet the tune of femdom movies will continue to go on in Las Vegas.

The San Franciso Armory - Most likely successor to the OWK

After watching the final episode of Sherlock, series four, I began to fantasize where to relocate the Other World Kingdom (OWK) to. The idea came to me after seeing a top secret prison facility on the show - don't ask.

Highly Tributed Lifestyle Domme Part V 11 Reasons to Visit a Pro-Domme

In this fifth and final episode of the "Highly Tributed Lifestyle Domme", I'm not only happy to have escaped her clutches, I also give you 11 reasons why you should consider visiting a pro-domme.

Nobody questions her motives.

The "highly tributed lifestyle domme" series was inspired by a single comment to Miss Pearl's article on why she never will go pro. I disagree with Miss Pearl on many issues - good thing there is no right or wrong when it comes to kink - but her overall writing stands out.

Filthy Shades Part IV - The Biggest Insult to the BDSM Community Ever

Never been a fan of Fifty Shades, but rewriting history with part four of the shady trilogy, gets me cross.  There is no cure and nobody oughta look for one. No excuses. We all are who we are. Period.

At least they got the parental advisory right.

Today's world chops up each and every "life experience" into easily digestable slices intended for riskfree and smooth consumption. To live is no longer to experience, but being able to brag about homogeneous, bland and zero-risk – whatever – thingies. All that matters is to cross it off your bucket list. Whatever it is.  One tweet is all you are allowed to enjoyed. Followed by an endless parade of your 1,000 closest friends who trumph you by saying: "Been there, done that. What took you so long?" The burden of modern day society: aka conformity. Not playing by the rules is even worse. Haven't swam in boiling hot lava before the age of ten? Your life is over before it begins. Jump into an active volcano and just get it over with.

Big Bang Theory goes BDSM

Season 10 of The Big Bang Theory features a short dungeon clip, that was dropped from the final cut, because advertisers objected.

Too obvious., the smart guy tied up and the sexy girl plays the dominant role.

Some two years ago I wrote about the US sitcom The Big Bang Theory about four guys know all about science and nothing about life. Then I realised something odd. All men were in a D/s relationship without knowing.

Highly Tributed Lifestyle Domme Part III Disagree with Miss P

In this third installment of the "highly tributed lifestyle domme" I write at length about what got me so cross in the first place. Why anybody explains, she is not into pro-domming, is a rather curious question. It also is the author's prerogative to write about anything she wants. Nobody would ever dream about writing something like this about dentists - which is kind of the same - and that is before the lawyers come in. So why is OK to disrespect pro-dommes?

Of course it only happens when you feel so dominant.

1.    Why?
One day, some years ago I was as high on a happy vibe as I’ll ever be, I finished my writing with some scathing comment on just how useless management consultants really are. Advising a business is all about making money from problems no-one else considered an issue before. I was reminded of just that when I read Miss Pearl’s post.

For a while now I’ve been researching the 20-1 domme deficit. It’s how I ran into Miss Pearl, explaining why she’ll never be a pro-domme. Why does anyone feel the need to explain two unrelated things? It is as silly as me writing about why I’ll never be a pro-rebel. And yes that is funny!

The preliminary results of my research seem to indicate kink-oriented women and men look for something different in a partner. A bit contentious but most likely it goes back to fundamental differences between men and women, aka Venus vs Mars.

The Clueless Politician and the Dominatrix

"What are you willing to give me if I deliver him over to you?" So they counted out for him thirty pieces of silver. 
- Matthew 26:15

Guess that is how much a cabinet post goes for these days. Last night I watched a segment on Newsnight – the BBC’s current affairs program - about John Wittingdale, Britain’s Culture Secretary. He admitted he had been in a relationship with a sex worker - more specifically a dominatrix.

“He did not know about the woman's occupation when they were together” Now really? Of course “he ended the relationship as soon as he was made aware of her job.”

How could I know "that woman" [is way too cool for me?]
She didn't like Fifty Shades. How could I tell?

Future of Femdom Part I Fix4Sale

With Fifty Shades in one hand and Clips4Sale in the other, femdom is experiencing a pivotal moment. Make or break, I believe. Those of us with kink in our DNA, we face obliteration by means of commercialisation. Any fix, for a price.

A while ago I watched a series of interviews with dominatrixes. Rather than asking interesting or  - heaven forbid - tough questions, the interviewer was so overwhelmed in the presence of Her Graciousness, he couldn’t stop sucking up. Such a shame. There is so much more to ask. When you sit down with a domme, who allows you to pick her brain, make the best of it. Whatever they have to say, I am sure, is guaranteed to fill more than a couple of Fifty Shades volumes. So I turned it around. What questions would I like to ask?

Germany's Next Top Model Owns a Slave

A contestant on Germany's Next Top Model explains she is a dominatrix. What follows is more than just sanctimonious as jury member and former model Heidi Klum humiliates herself for better ratings.

The eyes, the smile. Add honesty and strength of character. What is not to like. Let's ask Heidi.

Fifty Shades is kind of acceptable to the general public. That is, if you read it on your way to work. At home you obviously read something more upbeat like "War and Peace". So much for social acceptance of femdom. It ain't ever gonna happen.

Luxury Handbags. A Better Investment than the Stock Market?

I'm gonna share a secret with you. Just make sure mistress never finds out. The Hermès Birkin handbag has a better long-term return than the S&P 500. Still it is an ugly bag.

"The whole point was to take an icon of consumerism and change it, which is like blasphemy."
Make it idiot proof and somebody will make a better idiot. (Image: The Telegraph)

For the new year I decided to improve the quality of my blog. I began writing about serious stuff like Beauty & The Beast. There are many similiarities with Fifty Shades. Sometimes I feel life is one big cosmic joke. When I finished the post, I discovered the prince was eleven years old when the spell was cast.

Over years I have taken a stance against findom and overpriced luxury items - experiences are a much better investment - only to find out I am wrong. So very wrong.

Fifty Shades is Beauty & The Beast All Over

"...for who could ever learn to love a beast?"

A while ago I discover this beautiful image by artist Andrew Tarusov. Belle in full control of her Beast. Disney wouldn’t approve but it is clearly femdom related. Then all of a sudden it hit me. Beauty & the Beast is exactly the same as Fifty Shades. Think about it.

She will set him free – from his current form. Despite his grumpiness  he follows her lead. I do not understand why The Beast doesn’t look happier. He should, Belle is.(Image: Disney pin-up princess by Andrew Tarusov)

Even the most diehard Fifty Shades fan is disappointed by how the story ends. Sadist abuses innocent young girl. Young girl blossoms into a woman despite everything and domesticates wealthy sadist. In the end it didn’t turn out to be his fault at all. It was his childhood.

Vice Magazine on Findom. Freaks Sell

A little light reading for the holidays with Vice's section on BDSM, financial domination and other things not safe for work. Warning: reading those articles is fun, but will not leave you of any wiser. Happy holidays.

Give it to me baby. (Image: Vice article)

Sex sells. Freaky stuff too. Fifty Shades can make you very rich. Some time ago I wrote about a Vice journalist who tried on a male chastity device. A lofty effort to understand BDSM a little better.

How The Grinch Stole Our Christmas

Ever wondered what the weirdest thing is, people give to charity? A few years ago The Grinch stole our Christmas. Recently I asked myself that question as I donated some of the things my love and mistress left behind. It was another crazy December, that made me look back. Today – Boxing Day – a story of a love that wasn’t meant to be. Read on and you’ll understand why every year, around Christmas, I think of her.

Mine looked a little different.

When love leaves town, you box her personal items to be picked up later. Or not. A couple of years ago The Grinch stole our Christmas and all he left me with was the box, a deluxe edition with nipple clamps and other spicy items. Fortunately nipple clamps don’t scare me. The hand that operates them however, does.

ManServants. Broken Heart? Rent a pretty vanilla slave thingy!

Wherever you look, vanilla minds are being dripfed the idea of power-exchange as an essential ingredient to any succesfull relationship. On top of that the Fifty Shades legacy feels more like a tsunami, but elements of dominance and submission are all around.

A special from our ManServant Holiday Collection: slave-candy-man. Brain and conversational skills are extra. Order now. Comes with free gag, blindfold and chastity device. We'll even throw in a t-shirt just to make him feel more exposed and helpless. The ugly shirt highlights the missing undergarment, a psychological trick to reinforce his lack of control and vulnerability. At your service! (Note: image above is a suggestion for presentation only. Actual humiliating effect may differ on a per slave basis.)

Some years ago I ran into something called servants4u. Basically it is a free service for dominant women. Servants who enlist are available for all kinds of chores including ironing, chauffeuring and gardening. Lucky for them I’m not a domme. I would request their service and send them of to someone in need but without the slightest interest in Fifty Shades of fun. After all to serve is to serve. To serve is its own reward. It's all about giving, not receiving, etc.

Nuts? Vanilla Journalist Tries On Chastity Device

One daring Vice reporter tries on a chastity device for three days. He doesn't like it. Nor does his boyfriend. He deserves some respect for trying to understand, rather than vent yet another opinion. 

Package for the package

The world is fascinated by BDSM. Some of the more adventurous types - or is it bored home-makers? - read Fifty Shades. The more daring experiment. Spoiler alert: it hurts, as intended. One Vice writer took the concept of investigative journalism to new heights. Not being into BDSM, he wore a chastity device for three days. To be honest that is pretty cool.

He loved the kinky secret, he was hiding under his pants. That is about the only thing he enjoyed about his three days locked in the device.. The author did not like being aroused, without being able to have sex. His description: a black hole of desire. No surprises there. Going to the bathroom was a bit harder as well. Who would have guessed?

A few days later his boyfriend comes over. Finding out about the experiment, he was disgusted. More interestingly, he said:

"You're not any fun without your dick anyway."

 That was after the author wondered how:

"Some guys wear these things for up to ten days. That is, pun intended, nuts."

Never Normal: Gotham's Sadistic Bad Girl

Fifty Shades is no more than a look in the world of weirdo's for bored suburbians. And it works brilliantly. The new TV season has kicked of in full and just like last year scriptwriters and directors use and abuse BDSM - or what they think it stands for - to paint a portrait of the depraved villains. 

Blondes are more boring. The women with whips have arrived.

Making sure the audience knows who the bad guys are.

I tried to give a positive spin to femdom on television but the forces of evil are so overwhelming, I had to give up. So I came up with the hashtag #NeverNormal. Yes it works both ways, something the voyeurs overlook.

Power of Love: If You Love Her, Trust Your Gut

Why I'll never visit Club Pedestal. Taking a trip down memory lane. Remembering what matters. And whom you should pledge your allegiance to.

Years ago I had a girlfriend, who was battling a serious disease. One day she sprayed her ankle or similar, I can’t remember. The first night after the incident, I made her promise to wake me up and help her to the bathroom, just in case.

Why not? Whatever makes you smile. As long as you are together. On second thought: Lucky guy.

When I woke up the next morning, she told me, every time she turned over, I woke up and sat up straight. I briefly glanced at her and fell asleep. Apparently I also helped her to the bathroom that night, twice. Can’t remember a thing, but it took me two more nights to get back to my usual routine. Or so I was told.

Disconnect: Sadism is not BDSM

To me kink is about fun, something impossible to explain to vanilla people. In the end femdom has to be rewarding for both the dominant partner and the submissive one. For me, just like most men, visual clues work best. That's probably why I like Tumblr. There are a few exceptions.

Him, naked and collared make this image "extreme" to vanilla people.

I love it. The intensity, his eyes, her grip (which he loves). Good things do happen.

11 Things Dominant Women Always Get Wrong

This summary is not available. Please click here to view the post.