Disgrace
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| Groupies... Sleep is essential for creative people like Dutch. |
The discussion keeps coming up again and again. Why are professional DJ's so expensive? Because they can, some at least. Others don't want to work that often and quote astronomical fees. Especially for Back to the Eighties parties. Yikes! And you know what, it works. Inbox empty. Maybe you think it's absurd DJ's get paid a lot of money but it's their job is to entertain hundreds of people at once.
Errhm...
Librarians in popular culture part 3
Last time we learned how to spot a fake librarian. Leather is the answer. Today we have another puzzle. Is this lady a librarian, school teacher or something else. Like a failed gardener for instance. Just look at that dead plant to the left. All the leaves have gone. A little bit of water every now and then would have helped.
Don't think she is a librarian, the books in the background are nothing but wallpaper. She's probably no teacher either. Apart from the fact there is just one desk, which is so elitist, what teacher has to write herself a reminder on the door not to come late again.
So neither a librarian or a teacher. Nor is she a gardener. What is she then? My guess is that she works as a physical therapist, helping old people learn how to walk again with the help of a cane. Correct me if I'm wrong.
Librarians and the power of reading
It's the inside that counts [yes, that goes for books too. D'oh]
Total depravity in pink
Corrupt and conquer those Vanilla's
Barbie loves the colour pink. No spoilers so far. In case you haven't seen the movie, do it. It's highly enjoyable. Still no spoilers but be careful, from here on there will be spoilers, like the fact Ryan Gosling plays Ken. After all some girls prefer blondes.
We last met Barbie when Philomena Cunk interviewed queen Patricia, formerly of the Other World Kingdom. Forget the OWK, forget the Kendom, what I wanna know is what the world Barbie lives in is called. It's either Barbie World or World of Barbie. There's also an outsize chance its name is Pinkalonia but I really hope not. Anyway it's a weird place. Barbie's house has no walls, she drinks coffee but she doesn't [cup is empty] and all her friends are called Barbie too. And Barbie wakes up happy every single morning, which given the outlandish use of the colour pink, is hard to believe. Oh and all the Ken's are called called. Yes Ryan Gosling too. The only unique character is Allen, Ken's buddy. Must be a tough life to be the only non-Ken male in Barbie World. Also rather odd but each Barbie has her own Ken. Imagine me getting lost at the annual mistress-slave convention and looking for My mistress. How far do you think shouting 'mistress, mistress' wil get me? Barbylonia is a complete mystery to me. Don't worry both Barbie and Ken [all of them] are equally clueless. And that's not all they're clueless about.
And a cane
The story you are about to read is true. The names have not been changed to protect the innocent. [And the lady you see in today's image is so not of my former secondary school teacher, Mrs. Hayek.]
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| Yes, that's teach, mistress Hayek |
Most lads had to take the entrance exame multiple times, not me. Guess the teachers immediately understood what made me stand out. Looking back I am terribly proud of what my secondary school did for me. It was a long, harsh journey - but one that made me the man I am today. Back then I felt different. If you're a rebellious teenager, everything is stupid. Especially the alphabet and boobs. Don't worry by the time I was 14 I'd grown over my dislike of books. Funny how that happened. Once my interest in books spiked, my grades began to suffer. My secondary school prided itself on preparing us for elite universities. No-one was left behind. Something which is hard for a 15-year old boy who has developed a sudden crush on books and refuses to study. Desperate times, desperate measures, which is why they brought in a special needs teacher. It only made things worse. In fact, it corrupted me for life. Mrs Hayek's teaching methods are also the reason you're reading this blog now.
Bye bye simple skirt
Now that's what I call a Leather Goddess!
After two posts on librarians [and more to come] you probably figured Dutch likes to read. My default go to is Vogue, especially in a language I don't master. French for instance. Don't get your hopes us, even though I know how books work - they have pages inside, or so I've been told - I'm not gonna study French anytime soon. Japanese, yes. The Iberian languages are pretty cool too. For some reason when my friend visited Rio de Janeiro, the cashier at the local supermarket began bombarding him with questions in Portugese. Apparently Brazilian Portugese is different from Portugese as spoken in Portugal or Angola. Not that he speaks any of it. Twist of fate.
It's the leather that gives her away
Librarians in popular culture part 2
Yes it's summer and what is everybody doing? Reading books of course. Next to the swimming pool, at the beach, on the plane, the list goes on and on. But did you know there are fake librarians amongst us, women more interested in disciplining you than advising you on the most enjoyable books to read? That's what the world has come to. But how to spot them? Tough one, agreed.
'That's mistress Librarian to you young man!'
Librarians in popular culture part 1
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| Don't judge. |
Remember the image of librarian by day, dominatrix by night? Of course you do. So what do you think of it, does it make sense? And don't say yes and no, because that's what I'm about to argue.
At it's most basic who we are is more or less constant across time and place, meaning if you're a guy and have dominant personality, you'll forcefully look for ways to surrender to the woman of your dreams if that's your thing. The dark days were your sexuality defined who you are - or should be - are long behind us. If only.
So why can someone not be a librarian, dominatrix, mother who has a love-hate relationship with baking cookes cookies [but not with the kids] and an adventurer at the same time. Stop typecasting everybody. It's nonsense. Just be careful with lady librarians who read books about shibari bondage.
Librarians and the power of reading
It's the inside that counts [yes, that goes for books too. D'oh]