Sunday, April 30, 2023

Cunk on Femdom Part Five: The Internet & Femdom

Reenactment of what femdom must have looked like in the 1950. Clearly shortly after the war there was a lack of leather so you may not instantly recognize it.

For the last time, this is not exactly the Peter Tupper version of the history of femdom. Let's say it's inspired by real events. Like me watching Netflix. Don't ask me how I did it but somehow Philomena Cunk has accepted my invitation to write a guest post. Here's Cunk on Femdom.

Episode FIVE: War, Women, the Internet & Will Femdom Survive?

by Philomena Cunk

Just when the Leather Goddesses thought time was all they needed to make things right, history took a turn for the worse. Multiple things in fact. First oil was discovered, mostly in regions with deep roots to the fallacy of male supremacy and a new barter trade was born. Oil for principles. Works great. Then came World War I, which everybody thought was great too, so they called it the Great War. Turned out not to be so awesome, but they only realized that at the start of the second, even better, one. By then the original name left a sour taste. You simply cannot call the second great war, the second one. Diminishes the founding principles of the first, truly great one. And that's how World War I got it's name. It was inherited from it's sibling, called WWII. With so much human stupidity, even the Leather Goddesses felt powerless.

If you kill millions of their soldiers and they kill millions of yours, war never ends. But you do run out of male meat and a new appreciation of women was born. Out of necessity. In 1917, the fourth year of the not so great war after all the Women's Royal Naval Service was established. Less than 24 months later, the women were dumped. The WRENs were disbanded in 1919. A bit sad, but mostly inevitable, after each great war comes another, even better, I mean bigger war and in 1939 the WREN's reconvened. Yes, some women ironed men's socks but overall without their contribution Russia would never have invaded Ukraine in 2022. Not a chance with the first never-ending, second great war. Now imagine what would have happened if women had been allowed to fight alongside men in the second World War. Yes they would have died too, but that also is equality. Tallying up the total number of casualties would have been far below the millions who did die in WWII.

Despite the fact they played an essential part in the war effort, women still weren't taken seriously, not even the code breakers of Bletchely Park. Not because they were volunteers but because they were women. I'm not very smart but even I know just how silly that is. Either you fight to win or you [drop your pants] and surrender.

Reality check. Between 1939 and 1945 the Allied Forces fought the Nazi's. A little over 75 years later one country invaded another. To fight neo-Nazi's. Yeah that's how Russia is selling it's invasion of Ukraine. Can't say the bad guys have lost their way with words. Look at the definition of Nazism and you get a short PowerPoint list. First thing you think of is a leadership cult. The Germans have a distinct word for leader. It's called Fuhrer and we all have had enough of that. How the words supreme leader translate into Russian I don't know. Putin does or so he thinks, otherwise the war would be over. Don't know. Putin believes he does.

Nazism is a mistaken belief [ideology] that the man on top knows what's best for everyone. But there are other building blocks. How about totalitarianism, meaning our [twue] faith is the one and only. Also kill non-believers. Or just kill at random. Why? Because we're Nazi's. Then there is horrible stuff like racial purity. Meaning the very definition of pure is to have Northern European roots. If you're 'lucky' blond hair and blue eyes are optional, better not count on it.

If all this hate and vitriol hasn't alerted you to the fact Nazism is pure hate, how about scientific racism, white supremacy and totalitarianism? Now image today's neo-Nazi's start a war because they want to de-occupy a free neighboring country, a corrupt one agreed, from neo-Nazi's. Nazi's fighting Nazi's, the dream we all hope to see in full technicolor. Only, it is a lie. If any country in Ukraine's vicinity is a Nazi hotspot it's Russia.

Anyway, World War II ended in the end. It took some time, agreed but for the time being, we're safe from global bush fires. Doesn't mean the world isn't on fire every now and then. In a desperate attempt at some light-hearted entertainment rock & roll was invented. Clearly the United Nations no longer sufficed as the world's laughing stock. One slave who got really famous during those rock & roll years was a man named Elvis. Sadly for him, his mistress locked him up in chastity, from which he couldn't break free. But he tried, oh my did he try. If you don't believe me, play his record Jailhouse Rock in reverse. Now you get it. Then the sixties arrived and it was free sex for all. At least it gave you something to do if you weren't into hippy music. As for men in chastity? Nope, it was the age of free love and sex was compulsory. Not that needed to force it on the population. I think back than the Duracell [a battery brand] Bunny was invented.

In the sixties nobody cared about femdom. Free love for all. As a result manufacturers of chastity device went under and as a result of that, your device is made in China these days. It also comes with a micro transmitter that sends all relevant info back to the Communist Party.

With so much [compulsory] free love the baby boom that followed was inevitable and because of that the 1970 were characterized by a conservative backlash. Of course femdom still existed, but hardly anyone knew about it. How could they? Only those who knew where to look, were able to find it. A discreet sign in shop window, hinting at other goods you could buy in the basement. Finding a mistress or a slave was almost as difficult. Then there was the first date. People left notes on their kitchen tables: 'if I'm not back in 24 hours call the police.' Which obviously is much too late. Predators have been around from day one in the BDSM scene.

Femdom managed to survive those horrible 1970s only to be faced with the inevitable yuppie backlash of the 1980s. If your local findom repeatedly says that greed is good, that photo of hers she just sent you is dated. By several decades. It's a comment from the 1987 movie Wall Street. A rich banker cons blue collar workers out of their pensions. Instead of serving their mistresses - as they should - the men of the 1980s also opted for wearing pink shirts. To this day nobody knows why. But with so much self-inflicted humiliation, dominant women lost their appetite and femdom was on the brink of starvation. Nobody knew it back then but salvation would come from the east.

In 1989, tired of climbing over the Berlin Wall every single day, twice, people began to smash it. What took them so long? That wall wasn't built to keep good people in but to keep bad thoughts out. Strong women posed a major threat to the West 's superior conservative, traditional values. What if the descendants of Catherine the Great climbed over the wall and tell people that women and men are equals. Or worse that if a man wants to worship a woman, that's fine? That is why the West secretly gave Russia money to build that wall. And it worked splendidly for many years. Just one little thing, if you want to keep ideologies separate, don't invent the internet. In the end it wouldn't have mattered if the Wall didn't fall but it did. As a result property in Eastern Europe got rearranged once again. Someone got their castle back and a group of people started drawing up plans for what would soon become the Other World Kingdom. I - yes that's me Philomena Cunk - recently spoke to a woman whose cosplay name is queen Patricia. She was also king of the OWK, that fake Disney castle where Barbie bosses Ken around because she misses GI Joe.

PC: So the OWK was a kingdom where women ruled over men?

QP: Yes

PC Smashing.

PC: But of course you ruled them all. Men, women, mistress or slave, they all were the merch. And nobody figured it out.

QP: The internet was pretty new them and hardly anyone suspected they themselves were in fact the product.

PC: Brilliant, so how did it end?

QP: The usual. Change of seasons. And snow, lots of snow.

PC: You mean goddess Snow took over? I heard something else. You sold the whole thing to a guy, including the rights to your character.

QP: No, erhm yes. Sort of.

PC: Is that why your ghost still dwells the halls of the OWK?

QP: I kinda lost interest in the place long ago but if you're interested in buying a castle - excellent filming location - here's my card.

PC: You're into real estate these days?

QP: Selling sunset whenever I can.

Project OWK did rejuvenate femdom. It also made our community, I mean the femdom world, aware of the possibilities of the Internet, which at the time was still capitalized. Sadly dreams hardly ever come true. Back then everybody believed the internet would offer people more choice. Music, for instance, would no longer be dominated by a few big names, everybody would be able to feast on a smorgasbord of musical diversity. The opposite happened. The internet homogenized everything and instead of offering more choice, we now have less. The same thing happened with femdom.

When it was still an underground craft, people decided for themselves. Who am I, what am I looking for in a partner [d/s]? Instead what we got is a world where women at random intervals refer to themselves as elite, superior and - most importantly - looking for pigs. Meanwhile slaves feel they are not worthy of servitude, in which case they ought to shut up and never bother us again, but that clearly is too much to ask. Luckily dominant women these days have a big heart, at least if you have a big wallet. Or so it seems. Love no longer rules, intimacy is out the door and as for honesty, who knows the answer to that?

It's hard enough to ensure the survival of our community as it is, but no, destiny wasn't satisfied by unleashing the internet upon us. Soon enough magazines stopped being printed. 'We're exclusively online now.' It also killed their subscription model. And because flogging ads is much easier when you go to extremes, traditional women's magazines started churning out pulp by the dozens. "Want to feel like the queen you are, get a slave." "It's never been easier to find men who will massage your feet for free. Click here to read the rest." In case you think he's secretly licking your toes instead, no worries. That guy on his knees in front of you has a foot fetish and is drooling uncontrollably. Sorry but if we told you sooner you would've skipped the article. Everybody knows, no readers, no clicks, no money [for us].

And so we limped into the new millennium. No bite from the millennium bug, which, looking back wouldn't have been that bad. Also because 11 years [my apologies says Dutch] into the third millennium, an erotic novel by the name of Fifty Shades of Grey was released. Then a sequel and a third one to round of the trilogy. Basically it's a series about the Stockholm syndrome. Rich and powerful man abuses a young girl, he pretends to love. In the end his victims loves him back and cures him of his sadism. Can you believe it? Luckily Hollywood thrives on horrible plots, so they made it into three movies that combined grossed over 1.32 billion. It also wreaked havoc on the world of femdom.

All those MariClare articles about abusing men as your slaves, combined with the whole Fifty Shades thing convinced an enterprising group of women to start selling findom services. A man is a wallet. If you are interested in serving me, send me 50 euros first. Nobody knows exactly how successful they are. Fact is that it drove away most of the men devoted to femdom. 'As a man looking for a woman to share my life with, perhaps even a dominant partner, I'd rather donate my life savings to Girls not Brides than to give a single cent to these, erhm, enterprising women?'

Even for a landmark reporter who has seen it all, the future of femdom looks increasingly bleak. Femdom is also highly unlikely to survive even the current decade. In my opinion, in 2030 you have a better chance of finding someone who knows how to operate a rotary phone than someone who knows what femdom is. In my expert opinion, femdom will soon go the way the pyramids did. Take care of yourself and each other.



Face the music

by Philomena Cunk

So because the war in Ukraine is not over yet, we're just gonna ignore it and crown Sweden champion at the Eurovision Song Contest this year. Horrible, horrible. Ukraine should win until the war is over, which Ukraine also should win. Even more, even sooner. I mean I should have been over by now. Or never begun. Anyway here is the Ukranian National Anthem. Why didn't anyone think of sending that in?

Ще не вмерла України і слава, і воля,
Ще нам, браття молодії, усміхнеться доля.
Згинуть наші воріженьки, як роса на сонці.
Запануєм і ми, браття, у своїй сторонці.

Душу й тіло ми положим за нашу свободу,
І покажем, що ми, браття, козацького роду.

[Ukraine’s glory and freedom/will have not yet perished,
Still upon us, young brothers, fate shall smile.
Our enemies shall vanish, like dew in the sun.
We too shall rule, brothers, in our country.

Soul and body shall we lay down for our freedom,
And we will show, that we, brothers, are of Cossack descent.]


Note from the editor:

[That's me, Dutch]

So why did I invite Mrs. Cunk to write a guest post on femdom? How could I not? Just look at how she humiliates all those big brains one by one with sheer delight. Not showing from the outside of course, very professional, kudos big, bad Beeb. Simple example, the history prof whom she asks about whether king Arthur came a lot. One of the comments reads: "#15 is gonna be my medeival lit teacher at Oxford this summer! So excited!"


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