A smile, a blindfold and physical intimacy, all in one image, highlighting
the beauty of femdom.
A long phone call with a friend
made me both smile and a little sad. I smiled when I secretly realized we face
similar, difficult choices when it comes to love and lust. She likes both men
and women and I crave vanilla women and dominant ladies who are into femdom.
Maybe you can have it all, maybe not. Then our conversation turns into
something else. She is badly burned by her stalker ex. So bad in fact that
when she first told me, I rushed over to change the locks. Which really wasn't
necessary she said. About a month later it has given her at least some peace
of mind. No more random exes suddenly turning up in your living room [1]. Our
conversation slowly drifted towards relationships and trust. One thing is for
sure, you definitely cannot trust someone who doesn't respond when you tell
her you love her but don't feel safe with her. No idea how to respond if
someone says that to me, but absolute silence screams one thing and one thing
only. Run for the hills.
The first time she told me, she likes both men and women, she was kinda
nervous. After all, you never know how people gonna react. Then again, what is
there to say? Be happy, do what you want to do, fall in love and live the life
that you want. Just be nice to others. And no I didn't tell her I like being
tied up by strong, powerful, often sadistic women who get turned on by
controlling and humiliating me. Very much not the right place but also where
would I start?
When do you know you can trust someone? How much time do you need to develop
trust in a relationship? Are there telltale signs he or she is a bad apple? I
cannot answer those questions, nobody can. Obvious red flags include your
partner badmouthing you in front of others, lies in your face, isn't honest
about money, makes you doubt yourself or hides behind lies. Nobody is perfect
but if you love someone, you keep one eye out on her and one you. Even then,
there are some you can never trust, especially if they are narcists, people
whose entire life revolves around destroying their significant other. Some
manage to break free after which a narcisist usually move on to a new victim.
Together with 'feeders', men who love overweight women, the bigger the better.
For that reason they try to manipulate their loved ones to gain weight [zero
regards for her health]. [2] they are among the worst people you can
encounter. And sadly, most of them are masters of disguise. I'll take an
honest sadist over a narcisist any day of the week.
Does that mean you should never be with anyone? Of course not, that's no life
for anyone, besides most people are kind, caring and decent people, just look
out for the signs. If your lover doesn't seem to care about you, your health,
happiness or safety, why? Don't ignore the signs. Each and every relationship
is a leap of faith. The best you can hope for is that over time you've
signalled again and again to come and talk to you when there is something. And
yes, sometimes people fall in love with someone else. It happens, it's not
only the magic of love but also the reality of life but for as long as you're
in a relationship with someone else, for me, the most important thing is
trust. You need to be able to trust them, but equally important make sure they
can trust you. And yes, it's hard work. We all strive to impress our loved
ones. And sometimes things go wrong, vanity, arrogance, shame, you name it. To
be able to talk to her about the stupid thing you've done [no matter
what comes next], that's when you know you can trust her.
Of course my friend and I didn't discuss the peculiarities of trust when it
comes to femdom but truly, deeply surrendering yourself to her - with no way
out literally - also requires a lot of trust. Like always, when something is
too good to be true, it probably is. Usually time is what is needed the most
to build trust. And without realizing, at some point you do trust her.
Completely, period. That's for the lucky ones and the fact that you trust your
love and mistress is not the same as not being afraid, not trembling with fear
when you hear her come into the room. But you trust her. And she trusts you.
Because of that, whatever comes next is gonna be beautiful, even if it turns
out to be one big, beautiful mess. But after seeing this image you will never
doubt that even in femdom there is a blessed balance to strive for. But what
an image!
