Wednesday, September 02, 2020

When Fear Was Still Fun

The fun of fear is forever in my past. All it took was a single image.
sadistic, dominant woman smiling while whipping a male slave's bottom hard.

There's no point in breaking down why you're into femdom. But if I have to, I'd say the fun of fear play a major part. Femdom fear is different from, let's say, a horror movie. In the latter case, before and after are pretty much the same. At most it takes some time to fall asleep. Femdom fear, however, is a different beast altogether.

Unlike watching that scary movie - or not - femdom fear is not a choice. You are who you are, denying it is just as impossible as stop breathing just because you're afraid.

Unlike breathing, once you give in, next time will be worse. It's not how you sell most things, but it's one of femdom's unique selling points. Of course fear and the suffering that comes next has it's benefits. I'll forever seeing that smile on mistress' face growing larger and larger, long before the show starts. All it takes, is me being scared to death. So worth it. Give it a couple of minutes and my desperation becomes existential, that is, untill she looks into my eyes again.

Somehow good memories push out bad ones, no matter how harsh. Given enough time and distance and my answer will always be the same: fear is fun. It helps that I've been lucky to be under the guardianship of every single mistress to whom I've surrendered, but still. Fear is fun only exist for a short time before and [long] after. Just don't ask me to pinpoint it, kinda like Schroedinger's Cat. But what if there is no longer a before and after the big fear? The thought raced through my mind after seeing today's image.

On the other hand, under her guidance and given many, many moons, anything is possible as long as her eyes keep on smiling at me. Just not tonight, tonight I probably wake up screaming because of a single image.

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