Tuesday, August 01, 2017

You wouldn't want to get Marmite on your Furry Handcuffs

furry handcuffs, marmite, airport travel, confiscated food

It is that time of year again. Today is the first of August and most of the Western world is officially on holiday. Going abroad brings its own problems. For some British that means surviving a fortnight or more without Marmite, a typical British product, little seen outside the country.

As it turns out, jars of Marmite are among the most confiscated items at London City Airport. Because of that it is now offering travellers the chance to swap any jars of Marmite exceeding the permitted 100ml size for a travel-friendly 70g miniature.

Being Dutch I don't care much for Marmite but the list also contains several other strange items. Top of the list are snowglobes - yes that is correct - even during summer. Other interesting items are jars of chutney, pickles and Nutella chocolate spread. I'm not quite sure though about the olive oil, flying from a British Airport that is.

Most of the items on the list kinda make sense, except for number ten: furry handcuffs. Yes, that's correct: furry handcuffs are the tenth most confiscated item from travellers hand bagage. The article doesn't explain why or how and the reader is left wondering. Must be a mistake. Can't be true, I thought, so I started reading the comments. Guess what? I am clearly not the only one who is surprised.

"Furry handcuffs!!! (In hand baggage???) hard to believe."

"I don't think there is a food I could not last a week without. The whole point of foreign travel is to try new things!"

"Yeah, fair enough-but could you last a week without furry handcuffs?"

"If you didn't grow up on Marmite it is pure masochism"

"Jars are given to local charity. I wonder what kind of which charity is allocated for the furry handcuffs?"

"The only explanation that makes sense; "Hen parties, I suspect.""

"What is a "furry handcuff"??"

"It's a device for restraining furries"

"Something to hold your furry cup with?"

"An extension to a shirt sleeve for hirsute people."

"Furry handcuffs and Nutella!

Mmmmmmmmmm. . . ."

"I'd have thought it was obvious they shouldn't allow pilots to use furry handcuffs when flying."

"Hands up! How many of you have had the chocolate spread and the furry handcuffs confiscated?
I thought so."

"Furry handcuffs?

I wonder what they were going to do with the Marmite?

It all sounds a bit unsavoury.

Boom! Tisch!"

"What's wrong with furry handcuffs?"

"I think it's because they could be real handcuffs with fur glued on, and checking would be too time-consuming. Easier just to confiscate them for the airport sex dungeon."

"That would be a good explanation. Their dungeon must be very well stocked."

"You wouldn't want to get Marmite on your furry handcuffs."

"And that's a sentence I never thought I'd write."

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