Monday, January 02, 2017

Everyday Sadism

Sadism is not limited to kink. Chances are you already met one or more sadists in the office.

Kink is not all fun and games. We all know a number of dominant players who are untrustworthy, dishonest or just plain danger. That is before you start to think of those bad, dangerous people who seek refuge in the kink community. Quite a few of those scary monsters don't care about wrong or right. It is just as irrelevant to them as the difference between consensual and non-consensual.

Those who claim to be into consensual kink often forget - ignore is perhaps a better word - the very meaning of it. Ever heard someone tell you about "how a riel slave..." It is similar to doms & dommes boasting about their slave "who has no limits". Pity them - and their master or mistress, once they've worn out slave's many pounds of flesh.

Traits like sadism and dominance don't come with an on/off switch. Even though many people say they have a firm grasp on their kink, we've all met dommes with anger management issues, way beyond their control. Some describe it as a volatile personality, which obvious is not true.

That is just kink. In daily life you encounter those very same people. Unfortunately, everyday sadists have little control over their actions as opposed to those who enjoy sadism for recreational purposes only. That inevitably spells trouble.

More people are likely to encounter sadism in the office than from someone holding a flogger. A 2015 Quartz article discusses the various kinds of everyday sadists.


Dark Tetrad

The majority of people who display the "Dark Tetrad" in their daily lives have strong sadistic tendencies, but not so much it lands them in jail. And mind you, cunning is another trait for most of them.

The Dark Tetrad consists of three main psychological disorders: narcissism, Machiavellianism, and psychopathy. Good luck if he or she is your boss. And yes corporate bosses are four times as likely to "suffer' from the Dark Tetrad.

West Point Cadets - America's training ground for upper class military - that excel, inevitably display a narcissistic streak. They do so by exaggerating their skill set and knowledge. Unfortunately for them, they don't excel at results.

According to Quartz "Psychopathic personalities are impulsive thrill-seekers, known for their need for instant gratification, pushing limits, and a lack of emotion." Unfortunately for me, psychopaths gravitate more towards jobs in Finance and Civil Service. James Bond is one such example.

Because they focus on short-term results they often fail as managers and struggle in overall achievements. Their impulsiveness makes them fly of the handle more often than the average person.

Forget about what Mr. Machiavelli himself wrote 600 years ago. It was a different world back then. Not adroit to reckless behaviour, operating in the shadows and lack the grandiose (delusions), Machiavellians are often hard to identify, making them very dangerous. Remember 'House of Cards' Francis Underwood - Francis Urquehart in the original 1990's BBC series?

Personally, I believe a large number of submissives are everyday Machiavelli's. They need their kink and (apppear to) surrender control to an almighty domme. Meanwhile in the shadows, they continue to control what is going. It reminds me of an puppet master. Not what I am after. One more reason I like my kink to be "real".

Narcissm is the third and final leg of the Dark Triad. Examples are numerous. Former Italian Prime Minster Silvio Berlusconi, or US president-elect Donald Trump come to mind as examples. To be honest, everybody needs a healthy dose of narcissm. We all know it's a dog eats dog world There is also a thing that is too much.

Those who have a narcissistic character often cause havoc, the higher they climb the corporate ladder. It is why - with the possible exception of Machiavellians - sooner or later they will fail. Reasons are manyfold and go beyond their misplaced believe in their own superiority.


The Good Stuff

One of their most admirable qualities of those who belong to the Dark Triad, is that they get results. As usual there is a price to be paid. Often that burden reveals itself long after Mr. or Mrs. Dark Triad has moved on to greener pastures. After their departure, the stock price of quite a few companies spirals downwards. Some interpret it as the superior genius has left, but more often than not, their actions have left the company in disarray. In the end it is a tale of two cities, one good and one bad. To be a little selfish is not a bad thing. Too much of it will distroy you in the end. Some dommes - but especially slaves - only take instead of balance.

Go after what you want with a vengeance. If you wanna serve, serve. But only surrender to those worthy of your servitude. I know, it's a whole different galaxy out there. Then again if you are not greedy, unhappiness is what your future looks like. Think about it like this: a night bows to his princess. It is not an act of desperation, it's the very opposite. What drives the night is honour and pride. A strong, succesfull man bowing down to an equally strong woman - his match. She is a woman who accepts his servitude with grace and kindness, despite all that hardship that inevitably follows.

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Notes
The Quartz article mainly focusses on narcissm, machiavellism and psychopats but it is worth the read nonetheless.

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