Mistress Knows Best - Terms & Conditions Apply

A former pro-domme teaches her students how to deal with men, using the tools of the dominatrix trade. With zero experience in the corporate world, what can go wrong?

On top of all the office fun, he gets a salary too.

Kink is not a self-help book. No matter how often I repeat that, nobody listens. I should have know better than to heap praise on The New York Times. The Gray Lady's article on "how to deal with men" sounds very much like an infomercial for ex-dominatrix Kasia Urbaniak's Academy. All of that can be forgiven if Mrs. Urbaniak had something real to offer to her students. Unfortunately she is one of the many exploiting the freak element of femdom for personal gain. Most likely the average woman is better off not attending her classes.

Finally, the Audience Is ‘Fifty Shades Freed’

How to spot a bad movie? Press screenings 24 hours before it's release!

The new Fifty Shades movie is terrible. For once trust the critics. The honeymoon is over. At last! 

Now that's what I call a red room! (Image Tom Foolery/2012 Seattle Erotic Art Festival)

"Fifty Shades Freed” earned $38.8 million and the top spot at the North American box office. The considerably more family-friendly “Peter Rabbit” came second." Yes that is The New York Times. Comes with free [digital] delivery and complementary irony. Well played Gray Lady!

All right, I'll spare you the horrors of discussing Fifty Shades 3.0 on Valentines Day, but we really have to talk about it. After all, how much non-consensual abuse is acceptable, even for kinksters?

Porn on TV and the Rejection of Kink

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NCIS - Where Victims of Abuse Turn Masochist

Once you open your eyes, mainstream kink abuse is everywhere

TV show NCIS portrays masochists as victims of abuse and looking for penance through pain rather than consenting adults born this way. It's all about the ratings baby.

"Very, very weird" (Image: NCIS)

Fool me once... Well, you know how it goes. Looking East to salvage my illusion that kink on TV can serve as goodwill ambassador, I was naive. In what would be the penultimate episode of this series, even Japan's anime series Prison School doesn't respect those who are alternatively inclined.

Kink Depression

Where have all the good dommes gone?

Warning: online kink research may damage your health. Don't know if there is such a thing as kink depression, but if there is, I'm suffering from it.

 
A recent New York Times article, or better, an advertorial on how to use the "way of the domme" - sorry Bruce Lee - to deal with men, left me feeling sad. I'll write about it later, but for now one example. A woman who negotiated a multi-million dollar contract is left out of the signing ceremony. Pro-domme advice: next time, pepper him with a relentless barrage of questions. Bad advice, but it gets worse when you read the last paragraph, where it says that her boss and his boss are in attendance.

Prison School - Anime Dreams of a Masochistic Teenager

Abandon all hope. Kink on TV only makes things worse.

No matter how much fun it is, when anime depicts masochists as pigs, both literally and figurally, there is no hope of kinksters ever being considered normal people with alternative sexual preferences.

Prison School: Anime that spreads the message: no outsiders, on screen or in the real world.

After my Tokyo session I asked mistress how populair kink in Japan was. "It's really big here" she answered. In part four of our series on why kink on TV won't lead to more mainstream acceptance, a look at Japan and it's anime culture. Unfortunately, East or West, the message is the same. Kink on TV is being exploited for entertainment, even if it means dehumanizing BDSM enthusiasts.

TV Show Billions and the Abuse of Kink for Ratings

Billions opens with the kinkiest scene on TV ever, but as soon as the program gains name recognition, the kink theme is dropped.

"Honey, I'm home.". The opening scene from Billions (Image: Billions)

In part III of why more kink on TV doesn't increase mainstream acceptance, an indept look at Billions and how it uses kink to sell the show.

Basically, Billions made headlines because of it's opening scene. A man is lying on the floor, bound, helpless and nowhere to go. Heels are clicking. A bit of silly conversation is next. Then mistress puts out her cigarette on his chest. The caring woman that she is, she fights the fire that is consuming his flesh by peeing on her slave. She is also his wife, definitely points for that.

"That's Mistress Parrot to you!" and other Cheesy Slave Chores

Why spend more time on educating the general audience, if kinksters are only good for poking fun at? Some examples from the Comedy Central website.

In part II of why more kink on TV doesn't equal increased mainstream acceptance, the silliest things we do for lust.

Researching kink online can be challenging. We men are always interested in naked women and the internet offers plenty of that. Normally I would say "viva la internet" but when you are looking for actual facts with your pants zipped, it gets annoying. Delving into the world of television and kink, I stumbled upon Comedy Central and their unique take on dominance and submission. Don't be too curious, you can sum it up in one word: "really?"

BDSM on TV is Not Going Mainstream

The many looking down on the preferences of the few. Because it sells.

Don't believe the hype, it's a sequel. There is no kink genesis on TV, nor does prolonged exposure to on-screen BDSM lead to more acceptance in general. We're entertainment, that's all folks!

The Mick's Sabrina indulging her superiority complex, a priviliged life only money can buy.

There is one universal fetish all kinksters share: mainstream acceptance. That ain't ever gonna happen, just live and let live would be a pretty decent deal. And no, those proclaiming there's no deeper bond than the one between mistress and her slave are not helping "da cauz". Fifty Shades to the rescue perhaps? Woohaa, that is just as likely as 20 dommes for every slave.

My Tokyo Session

How can the world's worst slave also be the luckiest?

A few years ago I was in Japan and had a wonderful encounter and a fun session. It almost didn't happen.

Tokyo's Shinjuku district by day (Image: Easy Voyage)

"I'm walking on sunshine, yeah yeah yeah". Probably because Tokyo in summer is hot. Hot and humid, but who cares, I'm loving it. By any means Japan's capital is huge. Each district is a town on it's own.

The Safeword: Locked Out of Heaven?

Can't live without it, shouldn't do without.

A riel slave - very much like a twue domme - doesn't need a safeword. But what if reality bites?

How considerate, a gag with a hole for a safeword.

Like I explained before, I was late to the femdom party. Life was always good - and perhaps a bit overwhelming at times. The first mistress I ever played with used a safeword. She instructed me before we started. A few months later, after we got to know each other a little better, she brought out the gag for the first time. Once again, there was the safety instruction. It wasn't just about "too much to handle". By then she had figured out I had this slight, self-destructive capacity for stubbornness. She taught me safety was also about limbs being tied up and getting numb. Before that initial combination of gag and bondage, her instructions read: three fingers to signal I was in distress.