Monday, December 25, 2023

Life, Love, the Real World and Femdom

Because it's Christmas

Just a gorgeous woman armed with a smile and a cane. Now that's what I call a Christmas treat.

It's been a busy year and Dutch is knackered. So lucky I don't have to clean the dungeon with a toothbrush. Not much of femdom blogging lately. Google adult verification policy is a major let down. I write because I want people to read it. It's not about the sheer number of visitors, open access for the lucky few is more my thing. Add to that a hard disk crash where my drafts were stored - most recent back-up is from two years ago  - and you get the picture. But above all, family is the reason for curtailing my blogging activities temporarily.

As far as family goes, I'm blessed. Against the odds Dad's health is improving. He's setting a new record for octogenarians. Now that's a proper Christmas gift if there ever was one. On the other hand - and I am not making this up - an ex-girlfriend of mine got married on my birthday. Initially I thought it was funny, but then, well you know. Don't worry, our relationship ran its course and I am truly happy for her. Like I wrote before, love, past, present or future - hey it's Christmas - also means to let go when the time has come. Just don't get married on my birthday. No writer can resist the bait, neither can I. See you in 2024. [2]

Every single time femdom and love bump into each other, it makes me worried. It's hard to combine [or seperate] love and humiliation. As for pain, the incredible sweet pain of love is unique and rather different from the sting of her whip. Together it makes for a balancing act that only lovers can pull off. Meanwhile the arena is littered with crash landings.

Don't get over-excited. Life is all about coincidence. Things happen for no reason, so don't get excited an look for a deeper meaning. Looking back it reaffirms two things for me [1+1, what else?] If you love someone, you definitely leave part of your heart behind. I like that idea. And even though it's just a silly coincidence, it shows me our love is real. My femdom has to be real too, but like most I cannot say no to the occasional kinky debauchery. No, really, I can't. But my love always has to be real or else it means nothings. Pure is perhaps a better word, even though I cannot exactly explain what I mean by that.

Like I wrote before some loves last a lifetime, even if the lovers are not blessed enough to spend the rest of their lives together. It makes the time you have [or had] together all the more special. By now you probably know my favourite type of mistress-slave relationship is the one that flows naturally from the love between a girl and a boy. It makes things infinitely more interesting - and scary.

Pain sucks, humiliation is unpleasant but my one true fear is to loose the woman I love because of what happens between us as mistress and slave. One of the things that makes femdom such a beautiful gift is the careful dance between lust, love, acceptance and connection. And yes Team For-Us-This-Is-Real, nobody can escape that truth. If my privacy is guaranteed and I am under her protection, I'm willing to go deep, not so much in terms of pain or humiliation but intensity. I'd be very afraid yes, but my mistress is also the woman who loves me. I've long accepted I'm not great at being submissive but femdom goes much deeper, a connection, a shared mental state of mind perhaps even. A sort of diabolical beauty only for the lucky few. Compare it to a healthy life style. Both femdom and healthy living are a one way street. Giving into your preferences for femdom can lead to more intimacy and romance in the real world but never the other way around, just like there are no health benefits to an unhealthy diet.

Anyway, Christmas 2023. No Covid-19 and Dad with us. A couple of years back I wrote about my father having gone to hell and back. Turns out to be worse, much worse. So grateful he is here, smiling from ear to ear over Christmas dinner. Hope you and your loved ones had a lovely Christmas too. Just remember two things. Celebrate Christmas the way you want, there are no rules. And remember: love is all.


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Notes

[1] Just don't ever say 'if you love me, you let me go.' Not OK and it never will. How much time did it take you to arrive at that conclusion? At least have the good grace and give your future ex some time to digest, especially if he/she is still madly in love with you. If it is about to become a love past, at least have the good grace and allow your newborn [hey it's Christmas] to disgest. Imagine a simple nod or the word OK. How would that make you feel. Kink doesn't have the exclusive on aftercare.

[2] We broke up over a decade ago but stayed in touch for some time. By chance I found out she got engaged. A little later, after she texted me for something unrelated, I congratulated her. Also know the guy who is now her husband. He loves her to the moon and back, something that makes me truly happy.


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