Sunday, June 20, 2021

Love Bondage Is Never The Answer

Hardcore bondage between lovers on the other hand... 

Elise Graves smiles as she explains the many benefits of bondage liberation to a captive audience. 

Father's Day in the Netherlands. Dutch' top tip this Sunday? Don't tell dad you're into femdom. [You're happy] he raised you, that's all he need to know. Being his daughter or son makes no difference. He loves you and is proud of you. If Dad were to be the next President of the United States, the Secret Service wardens would call him Love Unlimited, so let it go. Also because Dad is tied-up in his old-school convinctions about what should make you happy.

In a story made for social media, a Ukranian couple struggling to making their love work, decides to try bondage, literally. From what I understand Viktoria and Alexandr are very much vanilla - and even more desperate.

Guess this is not one of them 'been there, done that' stories. Say what you like about Cupid but whenever he fires two arrows in a row, the little demon angel never fails. After which it's up to the lucky lovers to make things work. And yes, everlasting love is hard work. He's so cute. She's so hot. Don't fall for it. There's more that meets the eye. It's why love is love. Cherish the magic while you can. One day scientists come up with the magic formule to make anyone 'fall in love' with you or your money back, guaranteed. Don't fall for it. There's no magic potion to make someone fall in love with you. Because that's not love. Love happens. To all of us. If not, it was never meant to be. Anyway, casting a spell on someone to make them love you feels a lot like non-non-non-consensual [sexual] enslavement. And who would want that? [1]

Love is hard. In fact it's so hard that somewhere in the future, on the day of your funeral, the one and only thing your family and friends remember is whose spouse you were and how long you've been together. "They made it!" Don't blame me, Father's day is also free sarcasm day. Anyway if mankind is really that stupid, it's about time for dino's to repopulate the earth.

Love is great. Especially when it's awesome. Apart from the times when being in love sucks. It's a little like life, those many sunny days generally outshine the rain on some days. Being without the one you love, love is hard. Don't know if the couple came up with the solution because of the 50 Shades franchise but for some reason 123 days ago, Viktoria Pustovitova and Alexandr Kudlay decided to save their on-again off-again relationship by being handcuffed to each other. Four months later they untie the knot, using a big yellow bolt-cutter.

Sweet story and you hope for the best. Usual mumbo-jumbo about 'it isn't meant to be'. I disagree. Hesitated for a moment when I read in The Guardian how the whole bondage thing was his idea. Four months later, by the time the bolt-cutters arrived, Viktoria spoke about her lack of personal space and Alexandr not missing her enough. Not sure of the lessons he learned. But, oh boy, he did learn. So did she by the way. In their latest Insta post they both look at the floor. It's almost as if they're saying, give us some time to digest. They'll be back for their next break-up until they make it. Good for them, lucky kids. And yes, kids, the sooner the better. Take it from a pro.

On today's masthead image: sometimes words can get in the way. Not with the lovely Elise Graves, bondage enthusiast par excellence and owner of the Bondage Liberation brand. What's in a name?

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