Modern Clickbait Classics: Female Police Officer Stuffs Her Panties in His Face

Come for the clickbait, stay for the crap journalism.

Come on, it's a story about clickbait. What'd you expect? (Image Daily Mail)

The other day somebody sent me a link to an article about a female cop who stuffed her panties in the face of a fellow male officer. No doubt a dream come true for many, but to me it sounds boring. A quality clickbait newspaper such as Britain's Daily Mail can do better I thought. Below are 11 random 2018 Mail Online stories dealing with kink, femdom, fetish and BDSM one way or another. Not 100 percent accidental of course, I ingored the worst of the worst. Please excuse me for not reading each and every story.

"Mistress, I Love Everything About Your Outfit and Toys"

Mistress Alina's smile is definitely 10/10. Very impressive, even, if you, like me, live in a 11/10 smileverse. (Image: Tumblr)

Life is all about the three I's: me, myself and I. Not even Steven Jobs could change that. The other day I ran into a post on Tumblr with this caption:

"Mistress, I love everything about you - your charming and dangerous smile, your beautiful and oh so stinging whip, your boots that I long to kiss, and the very nice bench where you will beat me black and blue"

The guy who wrote it never realised what he just said. It's kind of silly and made me laugh out loud. I'm all for women born with a smile on their face, so yes, I'll give him that. Mistress Alina's smile is clearly intoxicating. Unfortunately our boy is getting a little over-excited when he ponders just how "dangerous" her smile is. Next you know it is all about whips, boots 'n' benches and "me". So funny.

Mistress Sidonia's Champagne Gag

Gags and mistress' champagne go surprisingly well together in a deliciously devious and highly creative English Mansion video clip.

Happy mistress, happy slave. Femdom at its finest at the crossroads of creativity and wickedness.

It's always risky to confess your love of gags, even if you need them purely for practical reasons. People immediately begin whispering just how suspicious it is, Dutch writing posts featuring images of gagged female submissives, even when it's appropriate writing an article on quack science and women wearing gags. Gags also look better on female submissives. And no I'm no closet male dom, it's just that we men are the uglier sex, which also means we are the lucky ones.

Gagging On It. Scientists Who Love Female Submissives

The sweet smell of submission, euh science.

"Rescue yourself" [from the evil scientist.]" Don't wait for Prince Charming to [remove your gag and] kiss you", Keira Knightly says.

Yes, it's science time again. From the producers, ahum researchers, who brought you the instant classic "Empathy in female submissive BDSM practitioners", comes a new study. This one is so impressive it's open access. Just read that title:

"Embodiment and Humiliation Moderation of Neural Responses to Others' Suffering in Female Submissive BDSM Practitioners"

Don't fall for my sarcasm, open access means no grown-up science journal is interested. Makes sense because experts in the field basically think it's crap. They phrased it slightly different, but that's how they explain it to you and me.

Food Dominatrix

Crème brûlée will never be the same again.

Is there a difference between torturing lost souls and inflicting pain on the fruits of nature? Not if you are a fooddomme who also loves femdom.

She looks so mean. Almost as if she cares and tries to warn millenials about the dangers of advocados.

Domme by day, foodie by night and finally coming out on Comedy Central. Where else? D'oh! If you enjoy torturing men, why not extend the fun to the kitchen and make your vegetables suffer before you boil them alive. Unless you prefer to stir-fry them of course that is. Don't worry, vegetables don't have legs - and if they did - your inner sadist would have chopped their limpings off long before you sentenced the tiny little helpless vegetarians to such an excruciating death. By the way, don't forget the hot sauce, it adds that little extra bit of umpf.

Magic Butt Plugs: Quack Medicine

After years of being fascinated with Dr. Young's advertisement, I finally decided to look it up. Quite a feat for an ad that is over a hundred years old. Guess I'm not the only one, it has it's own Wikipedia page.

Doctor Who: Voluntary Enslavement is the Best. Free the Ood!

In order to celebrate the arrival of the Thirteenth Doctor on television tonight, the BBC calls it series eleven [i] of Doctor Who a few notes on the Ood, an alien race that is submissive, or so it seems.



The really exciting news is that Luther returns later this year. "It's good to be back in London, back in the coat," Idris Elba tweeted in January. As an added bonus Alice will be there too! Let’s be honest we needed a bit of good news after the way BBC’s “prestige” drama Bodyguard bombed. [ii]  Yep watching terrible television is what happens when you have too much time on your hands because you don’t have to clean the dungeon with a toothbrush.

What's on a Man's Mind

Yes, you were thinking the same thing I was, when you just saw this image. We're both wrong. The image belongs to an article discussing buying a new kitchen. I found it in today's (Dutch) newspaper. No need to run it through Google translate, same old, same old. She decides. Took him a while to realise. Odd choice for an image though.

Reduced Empathy – Scientists Looking for Glory

In today’s fake news: [i] researchers in China ‘discover’ female subs, but not necessarily male ones, suffer from reduced empathy. The research looks flawed at best. Now imagine you are a submissive woman, getting a divorce. The story of the perils researching the BDSM community, motivated solely by “scientists’” quest for glory and fame.

Lady Samantha, German pro-domme with a degree in psychology.

Femdom Resource [ii] dug up an interesting piece of research. Unfortunately the result of all that science is not so benign. It's outcome was popularized for the masses (people like you and me) in Psypost's attempt to clickbait its readers. That's where doubtful science turned nasty. No other way to explain how the first bullet point from the Science Direct abstract:

"Involving in BDSM relationships and practices did not necessarily result in weaken empathy abilities."

magically turns into this headline:

"Female submissives have reduced empathy to others’ suffering, study on BDSM finds"

Ghomeshi and Kavanaugh: Bread and Circusses

A few days ago Jian Ghomeshi wrote an essay for The New York Review of Books called Reflections from a Hashtag. The backlash makes little sense, especially compared to the accusations against judge Kavanaugh.

"Don't speak"

In 2014 Mr. Ghomeshi, a Canadian radio host, was accused of having rough, at times non-consensual sex with several women. CBC, his employer, subsequently fired him. At his 2016 trial he was acquitted. A second one was cancelled after he reached an agreement with a fourth accuser. There was no admission of guilt.

I found out about the story because Quartz, a business publication, defended his right to have non-traditional sex. Based on the article, I agreed. Once more details surfaced, it no longer was about having an alternative sexual preference, but whether or not Mr. Ghomeshi abused these women. All in all, 19 came forward.

The Bride Who Makes FindomZillas Look Good

Don't you feel being charged to attend a wedding is like being cheated? Love is priceless, so why put a price on friendship?

"How sweet it is to be loved by you"

Dutch here. Dear all, I'm happy to announce mistress and I are going to get married. We've been together from the age of 14. To be honest, it was long overdue. We saved up about EUR 15.000 for our wedding, so that's kind of OK. However after consulting a leading psychic we learned that having a destination wedding is necessary for our cosmic energy rays or whatever to align properly. Celestial nonsense and so on. It's why we choose the beautiful island of Aruba for the ceremony. Unfortunately it also comes with a sticker price of EUR 60.000. Because of that every guest has to pay up. The price is EUR 1.500 or else no entry to our wedding. Please note your contribution does not include transport and accommodation while on the island. Please send your cheques ASAP.