No Chastity For Me Please. Thank You

For many reasons I'm not into chastity. And before you say that choice is up to mistress, let me remind you that any successful relationship is based on the needs of two people. When I saw a an image of a spiked chastity device it made me think about the why and how of such toys.

(Image: Male Chastity Devices)

Broadly speaking there are three reasons why I don't like chastity. First of all sexual frustration is no substitute for mutual attraction. Most women know, we men promise them the moon - and throw in both Mars and Venus as a bonus - when we are horny. To be on edge 24/7 reduces mistress to an object of desire. As usual: who is serving who? Perhaps this is the part where sadism and dominace begin to bite each other.

Then there is the vanilla world. Chastity is a huge distraction to whatever you do. Most women expect their slave to be more than just horny. Full time chastity is a major impediment to professional success.

Do kinky folk have just one thing on their mind? Sometimes I wonder. Me, I strive to be more than just the sum of my desires. Unfortunately long term chastity achieves quite the opposite.

Mistress Hibiki: The Dominatrix as Artisan

A captivating image on Tumblr made me think about how femdom can be more than just play. Some use their passion for femdom as an inspiration to create something beautiful and artistic that defies the usual boundaries of femdom.

Japanese mistress Hibiki holding a samurai sword (Image  Tokyo Dope)

My blog often reflects upon topics others don’t touch for fear of being singled out by the femdom police. Naughty corner for you and no more playtime! The fact that I enjoy a good fight doesn’t help either. I prefer the ones with those who hold themselves in high regard, but the world at large disagrees. If you wanna play with the big boys, better come prepared. Some interpret my writing as animosity towards kink. They are wrong. Quite the contrary, I’m loving it. Why wouldn’t I? Born this way. When I discovered I was not alone – there are women who nurture similar yet opposite interests – I felt like a kid in the candy store. Didn’t we all?

Serena Williams: Embodiment of Femininity, Strength and Power

Sports Illustrated choose tennis player Serena Williams as Sportsperson of the year, a recognition of her talent, determination and hard work that was long overdue. Serena in turn choose the image of herself posing on a throne for the cover of election issue. Such a bold, excellent choice makes me admire her even more.

A powerful image of Serena Williams. She is the embodiment of femininity, strength and power, no throne necessary. (Image: Sports Illustrated)

Despite being the best female athlete of all time, tennis player Serena Williams has faced discrimination throughout her career. She was ridiculed by her fellow female tennis players. Advertisers didn't like her looks, which resulted in considerably lower revenue from sponsor contracts than other athletes.

Vice Magazine on Findom. Freaks Sell

A little light reading for the holidays with Vice's section on BDSM, financial domination and other things not safe for work. Warning: reading those articles is fun, but will not leave you of any wiser. Happy holidays.

Give it to me baby. (Image: Vice article)

Sex sells. Freaky stuff too. Fifty Shades can make you very rich. Some time ago I wrote about a Vice journalist who tried on a male chastity device. A lofty effort to understand BDSM a little better.

How The Grinch Stole Our Christmas

Ever wondered what the weirdest thing is, people give to charity? A few years ago The Grinch stole our Christmas. Recently I asked myself that question as I donated some of the things my love and mistress left behind. It was another crazy December, that made me look back. Today – Boxing Day – a story of a love that wasn’t meant to be. Read on and you’ll understand why every year, around Christmas, I think of her.

Mine looked a little different.

When love leaves town, you box her personal items to be picked up later. Or not. A couple of years ago The Grinch stole our Christmas and all he left me with was the box, a deluxe edition with nipple clamps and other spicy items. Fortunately nipple clamps don’t scare me. The hand that operates them however, does.

Britain's Anti-Porn Laws One Year On: It's Ugly

Twelve months later, The Independent runs a story on the 2014 British Porn Laws. And yes it is bad. Censorship always is. But so is the slow demise of individual freedom that creeps up on us. Censorship is never the answer.

Glasgow based dominatris Megana Fury
The Independent writes how Britain's extreme porn laws have affected her.
(Image: The Independant)

What everyone feared would happen, did happen. Of course. As if anyone ever doubted it!  One year on, Britain's Obscenity Act drove some out of business and others overseas. But did it save anyone from harm? Most likely not. So much for a tolerant and liberal society.

ManServants. Broken Heart? Rent a pretty vanilla slave thingy!

Wherever you look, vanilla minds are being dripfed the idea of power-exchange as an essential ingredient to any succesfull relationship. On top of that the Fifty Shades legacy feels more like a tsunami, but elements of dominance and submission are all around.

A special from our ManServant Holiday Collection: slave-candy-man. Brain and conversational skills are extra. Order now. Comes with free gag, blindfold and chastity device. We'll even throw in a t-shirt just to make him feel more exposed and helpless. The ugly shirt highlights the missing undergarment, a psychological trick to reinforce his lack of control and vulnerability. At your service! (Note: image above is a suggestion for presentation only. Actual humiliating effect may differ on a per slave basis.)

Some years ago I ran into something called servants4u. Basically it is a free service for dominant women. Servants who enlist are available for all kinds of chores including ironing, chauffeuring and gardening. Lucky for them I’m not a domme. I would request their service and send them of to someone in need but without the slightest interest in Fifty Shades of fun. After all to serve is to serve. To serve is its own reward. It's all about giving, not receiving, etc.

Debt Bondage 2.0: Pay Day Loans & Cash Advances

Modern day slavery exists right under our noses. Short term lending is one such example. It prays on the desperate – and often financial illiterate – who have no way out. The pay day loan industry presents itself as a good samaritan. Don’t be fooled. They are loan-sharks who pray on the weak. After all business is business.

A different kind of menace. Female debt collector in Singapore (Image: Herworldplus)

A small loan, you pay back in a few weeks time, it seems so convenient. You need money now. What else can you do? Most customers have no idea just how much they have to pay back later. In part the industry relies on this. These loans come with high interest rates. Then there are the fees. Loans spin out of control because of the combination of these combined with hidden charges.

Bounce & Facesit. Is It The New 50 Shades?

Recently gifs where women dropped themselves onto their boyfriend's face, started flooding the internet. The first time I saw one, I was baffled. Happiness raining down on you from the skies above. The second one, with her beautiful smile, just before she sits down on her sleeping boyfriend, I just loved it. I liked it so much, I labeled it "Lucky birthday boy". This third - and less inspired installment - kinda makes me wonder. Is there a hype going on?

That would be a shame. Hypes ruin the beauty of everything, especially of anything that is odd or quirky. One can never have to much fun, but no fads please. Other than that, I'm loving it (once again).

The Bodyguard: Kinky Roleplay At Its Best

Find out if he is worthy. Make him suffer by the very hands he vows to protect. Some enjoy scenarios to spice up their play. Too bad most plots are boring. But not all. Test your new bodyguard. Make sure he is up to the job. Beat him into a pulp and make him suffer, is the most creative outline, I came across in a long time.

Not impressed. Or too much fun? Round two anyone? (Image: Demolition Dommes)

Keep it simple
Some people like scenarios they can play out. Me? I prefer to keep it simple. She is my mistress and I am her slave. The natural order of things. By choice and by nature. Does it really matter? Mistress can punish you, or make you suffer any way she likes, just because she feels like it.

Nuts? Vanilla Journalist Tries On Chastity Device

One daring Vice reporter tries on a chastity device for three days. He doesn't like it. Nor does his boyfriend. He deserves some respect for trying to understand, rather than vent yet another opinion. 

Package for the package

The world is fascinated by BDSM. Some of the more adventurous types - or is it bored home-makers? - read Fifty Shades. The more daring experiment. Spoiler alert: it hurts, as intended. One Vice writer took the concept of investigative journalism to new heights. Not being into BDSM, he wore a chastity device for three days. To be honest that is pretty cool.

He loved the kinky secret, he was hiding under his pants. That is about the only thing he enjoyed about his three days locked in the device.. The author did not like being aroused, without being able to have sex. His description: a black hole of desire. No surprises there. Going to the bathroom was a bit harder as well. Who would have guessed?

A few days later his boyfriend comes over. Finding out about the experiment, he was disgusted. More interestingly, he said:

"You're not any fun without your dick anyway."

 That was after the author wondered how:

"Some guys wear these things for up to ten days. That is, pun intended, nuts."