It's better to have a real love story and a flawed red room than 50 ways to manipulate her, presented as true love in the perfect dungeon.
The 50 Shades legacy keep on giving [sadly].
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| No entry! [Image Real Estate Report on Youtube] |
Basically it's an ocean view compound on a hill top. It's also big. And expensive. Very expensive. The initial asking price was $ 500 million. The jury is still out on that. Half the people seem to like it, the other half includes me. For a billion dollars divided by two [1+1?] it better be the ultimate house, which means there has to be a red room. Construction on 'The One' began in 2014. Three years before E.L. James released Fifty Shades and all hell broke loose. A year after breaking ground, the first 50 Shades movie was released. That was 2015, ten years ago at the time of writing.
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| This is the one. Such a loss for humanity, both kinky and vanilla. |
Back to the one that rules us all, the algorithm. Somehow a Youtuber called Producer Michael suddenly popped up in my recommendations. The gentleman was about to tour an expensive LA mansion. Michael is quite an odd fellow. In the video you see him avoiding walking on grass untill he has to. Extatic he shouts out: look, I'm walking on grass. Odd, really odd, but not nearly as odd as what people would think of me if they knew I am into BDSM and femdom. Anyway this Michael chap is quite a nice fellow. At some point he is shown the Red Room, no camera's allowed. Apparently it has been cut from the original video but yet another Youtuber discussing a co-worker's production made it on time. Soon the whole world was wondering what exactly is that Red Room all about. Quite a surprise. I always assumed that people spent most of their time thinking about how to bring peace to our world. Bring back our girls perhaps? Just look at Ukraine or Gaza. Also quite the surprise because I thought that by now the 50 Shades hype had died down. Then again the internet always remembers. Perhaps coining the hashtag #nevernormal was not such a bad thing after all.
Without exception, the entire internet guessed correctly that it was a sex dungeon, Vanilla speak for BDSM dungeon. My biggest surprise was just how shocked producer Michael looked after taking a peak. Dude, you just walked on grass for the first time in your life. That's special, not this.
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| Pub backroom anyone? [Image Real Estate Report on Youtube] |
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| Where's my horse? [Image Real Estate Report on Youtube] |
Be honest, who hasn't dreamed of designing their perfect dungeon manor? Sadly we don't live in a world where cash is abudant and people refuse tot judge when they see a stockade next to the frontdoor. But a 500 million dollar house at least deserves a proper dungeon. What is a decent dungeon anyway and why shouldn't your entire house [compound] be dungeonified. Asking for a friend as usual.
The magic of Youtube is that you can stack any number of them influencers on top of another and hear them say the exactly same thing. Sometimes you get lucky and hear a dissenting voice. In late 2024 The Real Estate Report released a video about the so-called 'Shocking Untold Story of 'The One' Mega Mansion'. Despite it's click-bait title is actually pretty good. Nile Niami is a real estate developer who developed The One. Married with kids, he fell in love with someone else and left his wife for her. Madison was a hair dresser in LA but she too fell in love. Nile and Madison became a couple. According to Madison Nile was always honest with her. When he started developing The One, he told her it was boom or bust. The entire project was based on multiple loans. He had to succeed. Stuff happens to all of us. To me it seems like Madison and Nile were deeply in love. She supported him wherever she could. That's what love's all about. If your Mr. Perfect is not exactly that but he is still the one, you find ways to make it together. Sadly over the years the pressure got to much for him and circa 2019 they broke up. Sad story, watch the video.
Somewhere during the design and build of The One, Madison said that any super luxury compound should a a red room after which he asked her to design one. Most likely Madison is not into BDSM because it looks kinda generic. But at least it has a dungeon. How many 10 million dollar plus homes you know have one? Zero? Oh! Me too! Anyway that's the big secret of The One, the multi-million dollar LA mansion. In March of 2022 it sold for $126 million at a bankruptcy auction. The lucky buyer also has to pay 12 per cent auction cost and has to shell out considerably more to 'upgrade' The One's dungeon to current billionaire BDSM standards.
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| Rio Carnival anyone? [Image Real Estate Report on Youtube] |
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| Vanilla is the new indiscretion. [Image Real Estate Report on Youtube] |
Dutch final thoughts. Even half a billion cannot make anyone or anything sexy or hot when they're not. Buildings, like people are all about character and personality or in the case of women personal gravity as I like to call it. Clearly Madison has lots of it. She is a lovely lady, hope she is doing well. Same goes for Nile Niami. It''s always sad to see an entrepeneur hitting on hard times. While I may not like The One myself, many do, so congrats. In all honesty, with money being no object, what a lousy dungeon manor. Try again please.
Teddy Swims - The Door
So you have this mega mansion and some leftover change burning a hole in your pocket. Let's say you invite Beyonce for an intimate concert. Or perhaps an uber-Diva like Diana Ross. Do you really want her to perform out on the fake grass [astro turf]? Would Teddy Swims ever return to perform after seeing your 500 million dollar shack? I doubt it. I know, the Isaac Hayes look-alike featured here before but The Door is one of the most awesome tracks I've come across in quit some time. Enjoy.
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| Teddy Swims - The Door [click to listen] |
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Anyone who remembers the Russian invasion of Ukraine. Just asking for a friend [in Ukraine]. After all in the age of social media people's attention spans are shorter than ever. Perhaps that's why the people of Ukraine are suffering much longer than they should. If you remember anything from this post, it should be Slava Ukraini, which is long overdue.
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