Surrender to life or suffer
Hedonism can be a cruel, demanding mistress
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| Ciao Bella's competition. Love the leather, fear the future. |
A slave's life is not always a happy one. It's shouldn't be about being unhappy, that much I know for sure. One day you wake up and realize 'this is it.' Something you need to digest and accept. Some take forever to do so. Me, I just shrugged my shoulders. Oh, that's what they call it.
The illusion of happiness through instant gratification is perhaps best illustrated by food. Eat whatever you want - and as much as you want - may sound like fun while you're at it, but it won't improve your life. Rather the opposite. Imagine your biggest passion in life is tennis. The more you eat, the more your game starts to slide. But if the game gives you infinitely more pleasure than food, time to cut back.
Accepting the contradiction between what you think makes you happy and the price you pay for genuine joy in life is hard. Don't know how that works for dommes. No doubt some have a hard time coming to terms with the fact they love to hurt and humiliate others. Self-acceptance, honesty, just guard your privacy and you'll be alright.
For a man who desires to become her slave things are equally complicated. I got off light. Plus I love living in both worlds. My vanilla life is and always has been fun, fun, fun. It's why I took my time for that first crossing. Luckily zero regrets living Vanilla only for so long. These days I wander back and forth between night and day. Dark or light, I'm blessed and happy, lights on or off. Back then I could never imagine how prescient that number 11 would turn out. As if it were meant to be. Vanilla and Dark Side. One and one forever makes 11. At least for me.
Lights out boys! Now it's just you and me. OK, I didn't get off that easy. Not your typical sub, Dutch spent so much time in the Vanilla world, it almost gave me sunburn. Not the religious type, hedonism is more my thing. My philosophy in life is pretty simple: love, happiness and when I'm gone, leave a better world, even only a little. We owe that to the younger ones. Rest of my life is pure hedonism. Or at least, should be. Hedonism is harder to achieve than you think. Pain is definitely not the pinnacle of it. Nothing can be further from a guilty pleasure than humiliation. It's definitely not a fun, hedonistic activity. No surrender, no suffering. But no deeper, more essential, reward either.
Of course dominance and submission and all that comes with it, go much deeper. Not surrendering to myself and accepting part of who I am is high treason. Comes close to wasting your life. And yes, time and time again I wonder why I am into femdom. It's something that's so out of sync with the rest of my life. There is simply no answer. If I don't give in to that part of me, I'm not whole. It's part of why I accept the pain and suffering - let's call it my mental diet - to achieve something deeper, more precious in life. Fulfillment, a live well-lived perhaps. Just remember one thing: no man in this world ever managed to soldier on all by himself. Even hedonism is a game for two. Just like - what was that old devil called again - love? Ouch.
Face the music
Janet Jackson - From 'The Pleasure Principal' to Principal of Hogwarts
After her second album, Janet Jackson severed ties with her family, most of all with her domineering father. Miss Jackson breaking free resulted in on the most epic albums of all time. Control was released a little over 35 years ago. The title song is about Miss Jackson wanting to finally take control of her life. "What Have You Done for Me Lately" deals with her first marriage, which she later annulled. "Nasty" was inspired by her experience with street harassment while recording the album. You wouldn't guess but "Let's Wait Awhile" deals with the AIDS epidemic of the late 1980s. The title of today's post is also the title of one of the tracks on Janet Jackson 1986 Control Album. The Pleasure Principle has one of the finest lines of any song ever. Click to listen.
'And now my meter's running, so I really have to go.'
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| After 35 years 'Control's' iconic album cover still holds up. |
Meanwhile 'The Velvet Rope', Miss Jackson's finest album, was yet to come.
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2023. New year. Same old invasion. A week or so before Christmas daytime temperatures in Holland dropped way below zero. Coat all zipped up on my bike to the store. Then it hit me. This is the season. Of frozen trenches in Ukraine. 1914 - 2022. A century without progress.
Make sure to remember Ukraine.
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Ukrainian soldier holed up in a trench during winter |
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