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| What comes next is a long story. Did Dutch learn anything? I vaguely remember rule 33 dealing with formal occassions. And something about hot leather outfits, cool! Enter mistress Saint Lawrence [first on the left] - supreme sadist with a heart - and friends. |
Clearly I was onto something when I wrote about the new 007 née James Bond. And no, Gillian Anderson doesn't get the part. Literally lost in translation is the fun of the baddie torturing Mr. License to Kill, allowing him to escape before serious harm disables him. Very soon that license will be transferred to a woman and nobody who's into femdom understands the point of making a female slave suffering for her master. There goes the franchise.
Can't remember how I stumbled upon it, but some people do have a lot of free time on their hands. Not one, but two people simultaneously started compiling a list of major pitfalls to be avoided if you want to live happy ever after as an evil overlord. And because I crave to serve, I humbly translate 11 of the best for those mistresses we all worships and obey. Nothing else we can do, once we fall under the spell of our Infallible Overlady. Or is there?
11.
Let me start with the most logicial number. "I will be secure in my superiority. Therefore, I will feel no need to prove it by leaving clues in the form of riddles or leaving my weaker enemies alive to show they pose no threat." True supremacy is derived from dominance, AKA always be alert, always be ready and above all very much in control. Why waste time with minions that pose no threat? [1]
29.
AKA 11 in disguise. "I will dress in bright and cheery colors, and so throw my enemies into confusion." They say slavery is the ultimate in freedom, wrong. To be free is to do whatever you want. Dress in bright colours, wear leather pajamas during day time or dye your hair any colour you want? Now that's what I call dominance for all of eternity!
32.
"I will not fly into a rage and kill a messenger who brings me bad news just to illustrate how evil I really am. Good messengers are hard to come by." Roughly translated as: "I'm your goddess, your mistress and owner, your eternal light and grace. You will follow my instructions to the letter. Or else... [I feel insecure in my celluloid Alpha Supremacy."]
Left out of the equation is the fact that slaves crave connection above anything else. Perhaps he's fallen into the wrong too often. So he makes a mess of things, afraid to repeat the mistakes of the past on his voyage towards discovering just how pure Your Gracious Pure Perfection is - and the many ways it blinds and guides him.
Either you consume his future with the fury of your rage whenever he makes a mistake or you opt to guide him. The latter is usually the more demanding choice for both owner and ownee. Whatever you do, don't kill the messenger. Why do you think there are no evil [male] overlords left in the world?
33.
The number that comes after 32, so here it goes. "I won't require high-ranking female members of my organization to wear a stainless-steel bustier. Morale is better with a more casual dress-code. Similarly, outfits made entirely from black leather will be reserved for formal occasions."
Remember that time when she kicked of her shoes - for better balance - and took of her top, exercise makes you sweat, before whipping you into shape, dressed in nothing but a pair of jeans?
37.
"If my trusted lieutenant tells me my Legions of Terror are losing a battle, I will believe him. After all, he's my trusted lieutenant."
Most readers will focus on Legions of Terror. Others, no doubt, prefer to criticize the missed opportunity to capitalize the words "me" [oh] "my". Personally I'd like to emphasize trust. Why does a mistress put faith in her slave? Because he does the same, but with less room to wriggle. Especially when his surrender means bondage and gags. What woman wouldn't listen to the man who physically delivers his health and safety into her caring, cruel hands? Just make sure you remove his gag first before you ask.
41.
"Once my power is secure, I will destroy all those pesky time-travel devices." Not talking about Doctor Who [2], just making sure the Yapoo won't enslave humanity indiscriminately. Don't believe the hype, those aliens from the galaxy of a thousand suns also turn women into human furniture. After all, some trees are made into chairs and tables, while others hardly qualify as logs around a camp fire.
43.
"I will maintain a healthy amount of skepticism when I capture the beautiful rebel and she claims she is attracted to my power and good looks and will gladly betray her companions if I just let her in on my plans." Very much akin to what I learned in findomme repellent class 101. Sensible stuff.
46.
"If an advisor says to me "My liege, he is but one man. What can one man possibly do?", I will reply "This," and kill the advisor." Perhaps the funniest thing to do when you walk up to that impressive domme, is saying: "haven't we met before?" Beats "anything for you [random stranger, woman and ] mistress" after which mighty mistress zapps you into tiny space particles with her laser gun many times over. Allows you to serve at least once, as a reminder for other left-over slaves, that is. Just beware of dommes who love sci-fi. Whovians [fans of Doctor Who] are especially dangerous. Hard to explain but true, perhaps some other time.
51.
"If one of my dungeon guards begins expressing concern over the conditions in the beautiful princess' cell, I will immediately transfer him to a less people-oriented position." Clearly, somebody doesn't get how kink works. Neither does mistress because there is no point in being her slave if that means you cannot spend all of eternity with her. Zapp that!
56.
"My Legions of Terror will be trained in basic marksmanship. Any who cannot learn to hit a man-sized target at 10 meters will be used for target practice." Chastity is nice and so on, but learn how to use a whip.
85.
"I will not use any plan in which the final step is horribly complicated," Men don't throw up, ever. OK, perhaps after 11 * 11 beers but otherwise? No. Ashamed to admit it, but I ran straight to the bath room upon reading what comes next.
"I'm the captain and he [slave toy] is my first officer." Eat that! It's an explanation for a couple's femdom-oriented relationship. Dangerously close to "for us it's real" and "I believe in female supremacy" Nonsense. Period!
To summarize, the first rule of superior supremacy is keeping it simple. You are my mistress, I am your slave. It's who we are, part of it at least. We both know, no need to explain. Certainly not to the rest of the world. Why would we? I kneel in front of you and serve you because you are mine, as in My One and Only True Love and of course my mistress. It's the natural order of things. It's also part of our indestructible bond. Don't get overexcited, dear random reader, I always kneel in front of her. Not because she is my mistress but because she is The Woman I've surrendered my heart to. Most of the time I lower myself invisibly. The kneeling stuff usually doesn't last very long, even a single word from her lifts me higher than anything else ever will.
Happy First Day of April, ehm Springtime everyone.
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[1] Of course if they have big, fat wallets, you immediately order your minions to empty them. For security reasons obviously. Silly me. Don't know why everybody keeps asking why findommes give love, euhm femdom, a bad name.
[2] Recently it seems like Doctor Who doesn't need any help to self-destruct, see previous posts. So sad.
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