Monday, June 13, 2016

Love is Insanely Superior
Serve With All Of Your Heart

Why is a lover so much more careful in choosing his words than a slave? Is it because love is a heavier - and happier - burden than servitude?

So many ways when it comes to being mistress and slave.
Only one when it is about love.

A while ago I found this clipping about a woman who explains her deceased husband never bought her roses. He showed his love with a clean wind shield when it was snowing. She only later realized they were her roses.

I am a staunch believer in love over lust. There is one test nobody ever hopes to take. What if one day mistress falls ill? Perhaps she has some kind of brain seizure from which she miraculously recovers, being herself except for one tiny little thing: she lost all appetite for kink. Would you stay, or would you move on after enough time has passed? My guess: most people will move on in the end. By itself nothing wrong with that. As we live our lives, we change and grow as human beings. Only the truly blessed grow in the same direction.[I]  But what if her love for you is unchanged - based on something much more profoundly than a mutual fix - and yours is not?

The Dark Force

We often ignore how kink influences the decisions we make. It is nevertheless a force to be reckoned with. Where does love end and servitude begins? Honestly? Done right, I don't think there is much difference. What separates servitude from love however, is the codification of all those little things we do for love, that once lover turns to slave suddenly become acts of devotion. I was reminded of that when I read this snippet.

Screw the roses, wipe my windshield.

It is something I can relate to. Why should your mistress-slave relationship follow other people’s silly rules? In university I fell in love and we lived together in a single room for quite some time. The car we drove was nearly as big as our place. When the council introduced paid parking, one tiny back alley was left unmetered. Of course that very first night, the windows got smashed in. From then on I set the alarm for 05:15 - mind you I was a student - and parked the car in the alley during the day. And no it wasn’t hard, I just did. She was my girl and it made her happy. [II]

Most men won’t think twice and just do it, park, clean or whatever. Apart from a certain pride - she wants to be your girl - it comes naturally. As a slave however, cleaning mistress’ wind shield is miraculously transformed into an act of devotion, servitude so you like. That is bullocks. Who are you really serving?

Old School, baby

My parents raised me old school, something I never, ever regret. Open the door to the car. Help a woman with her coat, run one finger down her neck, saying hello of course. Walk on the outside and go in first. Yes, first, it has to do with the unknown. If you go to an unfamiliar place, the man goes in first. Just like you’re not allowed to cut your potatoes in half with your knife.[III]  Told you, I’m old school, as in really old school.
Of course once you get to know each other, the rules of the games inevitably change. Until then the classic approach is usually best.[IV]

To be who you are, in the arms of the one you love.

Femdom depends to a large degree - often too much - on unwritten and obsolete rules. If you do this or that, you are a good slave. Else... To me, being a slave is one of two things. Either your kink is an extension of your sexuality or it is based on a deeply submissive view of the world. A slave who is the latter, is prey for abusive woman, who are are caring dominants in name only.

Too often lust and servitude are considered perfect substitutes for love. So what happens if your fix is no longer available from the one you claim to love and serve with all that you are (supposed to be)?

I thought so. Better love someone first - don't worry you'll understand the difference when you are ready - before you promise to serve her forever and a day. Even better if she can feel your love. That way she doesn't have to worry about the pesky blurred lines that separate love from devotion.

Whichever way you look at it, it's gonna be a struggle. Most likely, one without a fairytale ending. Therefore what motivates you to serve? Love or lust? Be careful!

No corner time for Dutch

Oh boy, as usual, I painted myself into a corner. All of a sudden I am wondering if staying with her, rather than an act of love, signifies the ultimate in submission.

On second thought, not really. If the slave [V]  stays on because he "serves", the woman who loves him, sets him free. Isn't love insanely superior?

To be continued...

I. More often than not it is a choice.

II. For full disclosure, I’m asleep in under ten seconds. Jealous? It gets worse. Once I’m in a rhythm, I usually wake up two minutes before the alarm. Most of the time she never even noticed when I was gone. Sometimes she did :) But whatever you do when it snows, don’t go out wearing flip-flops and a t-shirt when your car is prone to break down.

III. Assuming you use silver cutlery the knife’s blade will leave a bad taste, hence you use a fork.

IV. Chivalry doesn’t equal misogyny or topping from the bottom. It is just a way for a man to show his appreciation. If a woman is uncomfortable with it, then don’t. There are no fixed rules.

V. Notice the difference between slave and man.

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