Friday, April 01, 2016

New Chastity Device Is Bigger On The Inside

To be honest, I usually do not blog on April 01. No-one takes you seriously. This time however, I feel compelled to write about something rather strange. I heard it through the grapevine, there is some alien - for lack of a better word - invention that makes men crave chastity. It goes on sale today at 2:47 local time. But be afraid. Be very afraid.




"The Pandorica Opens"
From the outside the contraption looks like any other ordinary chastity device. The only difference is that its colour is blue, rather than the usual kink approved black or red. Yes, I agree. Blue is not a cool colour for a chastity device. But what can you do?

Part of what makes mistress happy is to control your sex drive: enter chastity devices. They come in many ways. Some have electrical leads, others are spiked on the inside and there are those designed to guarantee the perfect fit for all situations. If you do not get it, those cages are tiny. As in really small, the kind that makes a slave miserable 24/7.

We've all been there, or at least threatened with it. So what on earth can make a man crave chastity if he knows what's in store? Good question. What if you can have non-stop arousal, unrestricted that is, without any catch. Besides from being locked into a chastity device of course. "No touchy boi."


"The Almost People"
Enter visitors from outer space. Everybody knows aliens have given us ample warning of their existence through books, movies and TV. Not that we pay any attention. They are technologically more advanced than we are. Time travellers especially, are supposed to be smarter than us. So if they come bearing gifts you expect them to hand humanity the cure for malaria or how to desalinate sea water. But to give the world a chastity device that is roomier inside than outside makes no sense.

Because it only comes in one colour, blue, we know it is a gift from the Galifrean time traveller, Doctor Who. A time lord with a pronounced affinity for Earth and the human race. He is also more than just a little quirky. His spaceship, the Tardis, defies logic, being roomier on the inside. But to bless humanity with a roomy chastity device, available in blue only, really makes me wonder about his sanity.


"The Long Game"
Perhaps he knows a thing or two about what is ahead that we are unaware of. A famous postwar Japanese novel tells the story of “The Empire of a Hundred Suns” (EHS) some 2000 years in the future. It is a world were men are yapoo [yapu], human cattle. What if he visited EHS on one of his many travels? Perhaps even ordered to go there by the impossible girl. And yes she gets more annoying every single time.

Clara Oswald is the impossible girl – to me mainly because she just won’t die. The Doctor met her when she was a Dalek, next she shows up as a 19th century governess and finally she makes her appearance in modern day London after which she becomes his companion. Obviously there is more to her than meets the eye. It cannot be a coincidence that the female heroine in The Beast Yapu is also called Clara, Clara Von Kotwick. What if she is yet another impossible incarnation of the annoying girl?

Moreover everybody knows that Clara Oswald is the dominant half of the partnership. Nobody says so because Doctor Who is officially a children’s TV show but she is also the Doctor’s mistress. Don’t believe me? Remember that episode where she orders him to:

“Shut up and do as your told” After which he duly obliges. Just one of many examples. Yes the Doctor obeys. I was as shocked as you are, when I saw it.

So be scared when mistress hands you a blue chastity device. It's out of this world. You really don't know what you're getting yourself into. There is still time to save yourself and redeem all that is femdom. But you won't.

"Listen" It's always Clara. (Image: BBC - Doctor Who Season 8 Episode 11: "Dark Water")


"Fear Her"
Does it matter? Not really. Remember mistress always wins. Whether you are locked with ample room on the inside or not, it still equals "no touchy boi", aka: 'mine, mine, all mine"
The fact that you are allowed more space to breathe in lock up, does not mean you suffer less. Quite contrary, non stop arousal, without remedy, is even worse. Nothing that restrains your desire from the outside. Then again who will believe you, if you tell them you let mistress voluntarily lock you in a chastity device so you can crave what you cannot have?





"Run you clever boy. Run."
Think about that before you try to explain the colour of the device to your local shrink.

"So you were locked up before? In a red device...
And now you are locked up in a blue one.
Something from outer space, as in Doctor Who you say?
It is roomier on the inside, which only adds to the frustration"


"I'm loving it"
 

"Come on. This is a serious discussion regarding your mental health. It's not McDonalds.

"Dude, you need electro shock therapy.


What, mistress already tried that?"


[Pause]

"OK girls, increase the voltage and don't be shy. This one clearly needs it."

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