Nzinga Mbandi - 17th Century Angolan Warrior Queen Who Forced the Portuguese to Their Knees

One of many impressive people that history has ignored - but not Marquis de Sade - is Angolan queen Nzinga Mbandi: ruthless, cruel and with more than a hint of femdom.

Seventeenth century image of queen Nzinga Mbandi negotiating with the Portugese governor, sitting on a servant.

There is a long list of women I want to write about. The bucket list includes several kick-ass women, such as female Japanese ninja Mochizuki Chiyome and Qiu Jin - "Woman Knight of Mirror Lake" a Chinese revolutionary during the last years of the Qing dynasty. Then there is the story of “Bandit Queen” Phoolan Devi, who became a modern day Indian Robin Hood.

They’ll have to wait a little longer. Today I read a story about Nzinga Mbandi, a 16th century Angolan warrior queen who held of the Portugese invaders for several decades. Nzinga Mbandi was not only a brilliant military strategist, but her life story has a strong femdom overtone. These are just some of the reasons I couldn’t resist letting her jump the queue.

Love is Insanely Superior Serve With All Of Your Heart

Why is a lover so much more careful in choosing his words than a slave? Is it because love is a heavier - and happier - burden than servitude?

So many ways when it comes to being mistress and slave.
Only one when it is about love.

A while ago I found this clipping about a woman who explains her deceased husband never bought her roses. He showed his love with a clean wind shield when it was snowing. She only later realized they were her roses.

I am a staunch believer in love over lust. There is one test nobody ever hopes to take. What if one day mistress falls ill? Perhaps she has some kind of brain seizure from which she miraculously recovers, being herself except for one tiny little thing: she lost all appetite for kink. Would you stay, or would you move on after enough time has passed? My guess: most people will move on in the end. By itself nothing wrong with that. As we live our lives, we change and grow as human beings. Only the truly blessed grow in the same direction.[I]  But what if her love for you is unchanged - based on something much more profoundly than a mutual fix - and yours is not?

Invasion of the Body Snatchers Why Some Toys Are Better Than Others

Embrace your inner gearhead. Toys such as gags and plugs can greatly enhance that overwhelming feeling of loss of control on a much deeper level.

Beautiful, isn't it?

Part of why I’m interested in bondage is that it requires me to surrender unconditionally, deeply and completely – for real. Writing how I enjoy giving up control was perhaps a bit overzealous. Yet it is part of me, not that I always appreciate it. Bondage means accepting someone else is in charge. If you change your mind: too bad. Some crave giving up control. For me it is hard. Once the storm inside my mind slows down - mainly because I have to adjust to the new reality - I cave in. After that I find myself in a different place. Weird but somehow OK. Balanced but not necessarily pleasant, still it is somewhere I have to go every once in a while. Together when I’m lucky. The sensations range from zen-like calm like to complete sensory overload. Fun, happiness, peace of mind and acceptance are just four words that come to mind. Never all of them at the same time of course.

The 1913 Sex Slave in the Attic

If you are into kink, by now you know that reality is stranger than fiction. Remember last summer when an escaped murderer hid in a dungeon. This one is even better and happened almost a hundred years before. A woman hides her lover in the attic for decades, even when the need for that has long gone.

Dolly Oesterreich at the time of her arrest (Source: Murderpedia)

The story starts out simple enough, sexually unsatisfied wife takes lover, because the husband prefers the bottle. One day a young repairman comes knocking and instead of fixing her sowingmachine, Dolly and Sanhuber begin an affair that spans more than one decade. When the neighbours grow suspicious of the frequent visits of the repairguy - it is America 1913 - Dolly suggests her lover quits his job and moves into the attic.

Confessions of a Mask - Yukio Mishima

A few days ago I read Yukio Mishima's 'Confessions of a Mask'. The story is about a young male who grows up in Japan on the eve of the second worldwar. It is beautifully written, but definitely not for me and not because it is very strange.

First edition (Japanese) (Source: Wikipedia)

For some reason it ended up on my femdom reading list. I'm not exactly sure why. Most likely it was this interview with Miss Chloé Savage.

Kochan, the main character, struggles with fantasies of men, beauty and violence. Women are of no interest to him, the closest he comes is platonic love - of sorts. It all is highly puzzling to him. Still it awakens some form of submission in him:

"The trousers of my uniform trembled at the honor of serving as her pillow."

"not a sexual feeling, but somehow simply an extremely luxurious pleasure"

Highly Tributed Lifestyle Domme Part IV What Was My Personal Legend Again?

Part four of my series on the "highly tributed lifestyle domme." Getting medieval on your ass is not my thing, I'll leave that to others. Thinking is much harder and more painful for some. Despite that it doesn't leave a lasting impression. No, still not a sadist, just not a nice guy when I don't feel like it. A self-inflicted luxury, I agree. Even the worst slave in the world deserves to treat himself once in a while.

Guess who has been a naughty boy?

Personal Legend
Being the world's crappiest slave doesn't make me inefficient. That’s why, after cleaning all the dungeons in the world with nothing but eleven strands of hair, I often find myself having some free time on my hands. One time I stumbled upon the website of Miss Martine Phoenix, a New York based pro-domme who wonders why people always ask what she is going to be when she grows up. She does what she loves, past present and future and would make the same choice all over again.

In "The Alchemist" author Paulo Coelho explains we all have a Personal Legend.

"Your Personal Legend is what you have always wanted to accomplish. Everyone, when they are young, knows what their Personal Legend is."

Pretty cool, don't you agree? No wonder the Alchemist is one of the best-selling books of all time. Of course being the complicated guy I am, I have eleven Personal Legends. But what happens if you cannot remember what your Personal Legend is all about?

Muhammad Ali: “There are more pleasant things to do than beat up people”

Last month Prince and now Muhammed Ali. 'The Greatest', dies aged 74. Not exactly femdom but he is so much more than just a boxing legend, an icon. He's just awesome. Here are eleven of his quotes:

Muhammad Ali standing over Sonny Liston in 1965. (Source The New York Times)

“The Service you do for others is the rent you pay for your room here on Earth.”
― Muhammad Ali

“I'm a fighter. I believe in the eye-for-an-eye business. I'm no cheek turner. I got no respect for a man who won't hit back. You kill my dog, you better hide your cat.”
― Muhammad Ali

Modern Day Slaves in the Netherlands

Yesterday I read an article from Dutchnews.nl (never mind their English) on the shockingly large number of modern day slaves in the Netherlands.

The outlook is bleak (Image: 2016 Global Slavery Index)

Then
Slavery has a long tradition in the low countries, but always out of sight. The worlds first multinational was the VOC, the Dutch East India company. Two main sources of income were the colonies and the slave trade, intricably linked. A few years ago a former prime minister boasted of the proud tradition of the Verenigde Oostindische Compagnie and conveniently forgot all the human suffering that helped pay for it.

Pieces of Margo - Blog Recommendation

Pro-domme by day, serious slave once the sun sets. Wonderful writer 24/7 

Don't often recommend blogs. The last one was the history of BDSM. Even though I'm not into parrots - unicorns and dragons are more my kind of thing - you might wanna take a look at Miss Margot's blog, more than just a professional dominatrix. 

Compartmentalized but also complete and with a kind heart.

Most kink blogs I read, deal with either one of two things. The majority writes about the “journey”, aka “why am I not living the kinky dream?” That goes for both dommes and subs. The other is “how can I fetishfy everything in my life?” Underneath it all is so much selfishness. On more than one occasion, I stopped following a blog because of that or wrote a wry comment. Believe me, just for that, the femdom police has knocked down my door more than once – full riot gear and so on.

Perfume: Of Fragrance and Femdom Scent of a Woman

If you think there is nothing farther removed from kink than perfume, think again. Even though I'm all in favour of toys and hot leather outfits, that is not what femdom and love are all about.

Don't judge a book by its cover.
If you do, go for something more intoxicating. How 'bout kiss from a dragon?

Shrine
The joys of a rainy Sunday afternoon sometimes include running into a superb blog about perfumes. Yes, that is right, the guy who once came home on a Sunday night with mistress' underwear hiding in his weekend bag - by accident of course - not that mistress believed me, is reading about perfume n stuff.  When I told her about the stowaway, she asked:

"Are you building a shrine in my honour?"

Dutch replied something like: "My heart serves as your shrine." Superfluous and she knew.[1] Fast forward several years and I find myself browsing "Perfume Shrine." Oh irony! It is a superb blog. The author loves writing at least as much as she cares for her potions.

After reading posts such as "Is perfume political, you bet" it came as little surprise to find a number of posts on the subject of perfume and BDSM. They are all excellent blog posts and its topic made me think about men, women, love, Chanel No. 5 and perfumes in general. My mind drifted away and started pondering the deeper significance of a man buying a new fragrance for his mistress. Enter the twilight zone...

Why Dommes Should Stop Complain Being an Object of Interest

Grown men suffer more, so much more. Mistress where are thou. Please set me free.

Before (she discovers nipple clamps): Tower of power. The writing is on the wall. Just wait until she finds out about the dark side. Now tell me again, what choice do we men have? (Image credits: unknown)

All men are into femdom. Most of us just never realize. Nor does their significant other. One more cosmic joke. We all look for a compatible partner, one that makes us happy. When we do, we discover nothing matters more than making them happy. Even if their happiness is not necessarily ours. And yes for dommes that spells the difference between mere suffering and happy suffering. Now try to explain that E. L. James.

Yes there are twenty men for each prospective domme. Now assume you are man and plain vanilla. You also are over 25 or 30. As a kid the main reason your 16 year old self hated secondary school was the girl you fancied had an 18 year old boyfriend who owned a car. Only two more years...