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Personal Legend
Being the world's crappiest slave doesn't make me inefficient. That’s why, after cleaning all the dungeons in the world with nothing but eleven strands of hair, I often find myself having some free time on my hands. One time I stumbled upon the website of Miss Martine Phoenix, a New York based pro-domme who wonders why people always ask what she is going to be when she grows up. She does what she loves, past present and future and would make the same choice all over again.
In "The Alchemist" author Paulo Coelho explains we all have a Personal Legend.
"Your Personal Legend is what you have always wanted to accomplish. Everyone, when they are young, knows what their Personal Legend is."
Pretty cool, don't you agree? No wonder the Alchemist is one of the best-selling books of all time. Of course being the complicated guy I am, I have eleven Personal Legends. But what happens if you cannot remember what your Personal Legend is all about?
the Riel Thing
Finally, it's time for episode four of my pentology on the highly tributed lifestyle domme. Even now I find it difficult to relax. No surprise, given the fact it took me over a year to write this.
"I found myself nodding at various points throughout reading this post. It is exactly the reason I moved from being a Pro-Domme with paying clients to being a ‘highly-tributed lifestyle Mistress’. As a result, I’m much happier and feel as though I’m able to express who I really am as a Dominant Woman :-)"
Her name is Olivia Fitzgerald. My initial reaction is huh. Followed by uncontrollable laughter once I notice the uppercase initials. Someone who refers to herself as a "Dominant Woman" Really? Come on. Best to leave capitalization to people with the appropriate skills such as Mr. Coelho, who throughout his book consistently capitalizes the phrase "Personal Legend."
Perhaps there is an afterlife, maybe there ain't. It really doesn't matter. Femdom at its best is an absurd connection that merges the invisible shadows of two people – not that most see it like that. So what if a man loves a woman and drops to his knees to express his true feelings for her? One reason he does so without hesitation, is that he knows, when she lowers her eyes, she sees her guy in loving devotion, not a wallet or opportunity.
Being a man is simple. Women are all that matters to us. They represent everything that is good and beautiful in this world. One of the reasons women are magic is their unique strength. All women have it. Life does not allow them to see it, but to us men it is life’s brightest beacon. It reveals an individual quality each and every woman possesses. We - as in us men - are blissfully drawn to it. Some women disperse their power gently, others express it more forcefully. Whether a woman is into kink or not, it really doesn't make a difference.
Show some class
Femdom is highly stylized. Underneath it all, I believe our erotic preferences reflect those traits in the one we love, we find most attractive. It is like a secret alliance between men and women. In public we men will never be on our knees, yet women never fail to make the distinction between what their eyes see and the image that presents itself to the heart, or even the soul. We men bow – invisible of course – and preferably with grace, to the ones we love. If you’re lucky enough to remember your Personal Legend, that is.
So what do you think happens when someone breaks the spell and goes full force nasty? Ever boiled an egg in the microwave? Don't. Trust me, there's a word for it, compared to what comes next: benign. Just read on.
Moronic Oxymoron
Let's start with the simple stuff. A “tributed lifestyle domme” is an oxymoron, a combination of words that have opposite or very different meaning. Add the prefix “highly” and you have the first moronic oxymoron ever, a tautology by itself. Sorry, just couldn’t resist.
The meaning of the term highly-tributed lifestyle dominant eludes me. Isn’t it the same as a pro-domme who says she isn’t? Is it different from findom or is it just a clever marketing ploy to suggest respectability. Even worse, rather than tributed, it is highly-tributed. Why the emphasis?
The comments seems to suggest the author thinks she is moving up in the world. I’m still wondering what tribute has to do with lifestyle. Highly-tributed sounds even worse. It is wrong and arrogant to equate success and dominance with the amount of money a woman can make by exploiting the sexual desires of men. That has nothing to do with lifestyle. Perhaps E.L. James was right to make Christian Grey a billionaire. The above statement suggests “da lifestyle” is only for the lucky few, meaning those with enough money to serve. Don’t get me wrong, some believe this is for real because you don’t pay for a session.
Why does ‘high tribute’ allows a ‘lifestyle Mistress’ to better express herself as a “Dominant Woman?” Does it mean La Femme Oliva follows the money trail? Can’t be, that would turn her into a slave. Previously I explained at length how dominance has nothing to do with your job title. It is all about how you make the best of whatever comes your way. Some things you can influence, most not.
Highly Taxed Loosers & Morons
The other day I saw this mockumentary on the Insanity Channel about a peculiar mental disorder called HTLM. The world’s best psychiatrists recently identified this illusive condition that stands for head (to) toe lying (and) malicious. It’s been around forever, but the rise of the internet boosted proliferation into the furthest corners of undeserving womanhood.
Technically speaking a highly-tributed lifestyle mistress (HTLM) is a delusional state of mind where one believes the job title on his or her business card is what makes them dominant, rather than the fire within, life n stuff, character or personality.
One of the more interesting side effects, is the real life phenomenon, only to be observed in the wild, where the HTLM roams the green gras of Illusionistan, together with a troop of hungry “highly-tributing lifestyle subs” (HTLS). Due to the nature of the disease, the latter comprises of an ever changing band of rivalrous siblings.
HTLS basically is a complementary state of mind to HTLM that occurs in malfeasant, selfish males. It is the species that Mother Nature came up wth to complement the narcissistic female illusionista. More broadly speaking it is a framework designed for keeping up appearances. After entering their delusional state of mind, the pretend submissive stops thinking for himself. Desperate to serve [his own needs], the lower part of the body takes over and initiates a full and irreversible shutdown of what is left of his brain functions.
For the most part HLTD and HLTS are a - symbiotic - parasitic condition, in which both sides desperately feed of each other. The ()un)lucky male is injected with a mental poison that blocks him from independent thinking. What makes this toxin so unique is not just that it is superfluous, but that it only works under specific circumstances. It was tested upon genuine submissives and men who love a bit of kink with an impressive woman, nothing happened. The venom only works if the male is susceptible, meaning if the shoe were on the other foot, he would not hesitate to do the same. Anything for a fix.
What both sexes share is a joint condition, fuelled by a mutual desire for exploitation of the shared illusion. A state of mind that can only occur when they are unable to look beyond the narrow framework of desire that cunningly presents itself to its victims.
Don’t feel bad for them. In the end they have no-one to blame but themselves. If only the first gift slavey boi would have bought mistress, was a dictionary. Under S you find two entries: servitude and selfishness, which are worlds apart. The vanilla term that comes closest is mistaken identity.
The whole HTLM makes little sense if one of your eleven Personal Legends is to be with the woman you love – someone who will never look on you – especially not from the high vantage point her hand-built pedestal provides her.
Boys vs Girls (again)
What Olivia Fitzegerald's comment highlights more than anything else is the difference between femdom and maledom. Yes, of course. It's money! Just like tribute has predominantly to do with gender, so does referring to yourself as a "Dominant Woman." Imagine a guy telling the world he is a "Dominant Male." Once you finished laughing, you start to realize, he is in for the beating of a lifetime. Every day, for the rest of his life. Come on.
Moving from pro-domming to highly-tributed lifestyle domme means only those with money to spare can treat you like the goddess you are. In a twenty to one world, where many dommes struggle to find the right slave, the majority of prospects is eliminated from the field because of lack of funds.
Then again if you are a lifestyle goddess, you probably have another source of income. Maybe you are a software designer or a doctor. A true goddess earns her own money. After all that is what dominant people do. Once you are truly independent, why limit yourself to rich tributeers. If your style of dominance is linked to expensive prezzies, it is not dominance, it is a fetish. Unfortunately I don’t know what its called. Slave to the illusion perhaps?
That dominance thing
Dominance has nothing to do with being the absolute top. It is all about the fight within, whether it is to save to world or making sure there is enough money to send your kids to a decent school. It definitely is not about the fight for Louboutins. That, it is very opposite. Women who have been manipulated into thinking expensive shoes with red soles are the zenith of achievement in life. Either it is one big cosmic joke or an evil madman behind that marketing scheme.
As for pro-dommes, why can’t they be both: pro and lifestyle and on top of that honest, impressive, qualified, strong, dominant and wilful. But more than anything else a woman! Part of what dominance is to me, comes from her personal strength It is a trait fuelled by respect for others, sincerity and above all honesty. It is about women women who actually awaken something lurking deep down in a man that turns him into her slave, happily.
As for that personal legend, I think Miss Olivia Fitzgerald forgot what hers is. Good thing then that not everybody does, vanilla or kinky; pro, life-style or both.
Just remember one thing. Above all: don't judge. And remember, just like women can spot a cheater a mile away, we men smell dishonesty and desperation from afar. Consider yourself warned.
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PS: Tell me what is worse. A man who doesn’t stand up for the ones he loves or a dominant woman whose desperate desires makes her say nasty things about other [dominant] woman. Enter the “highly tributed lifestyle domme”. One more reason why the future of femdom is bleak.
Last year I read Miss Pearl’s 2013 blog post on why she makes a big deal about not being a pro femdomme. Other than being baffled why people believe pro-dommes and lifestyle are “similar", I don't like the article for two reasons. First the author consistently compares pro-dommes to something “inferior.” Secondly – and this is what really rattled my cage – one of the commenters explains how she felt more in touch with her inner “Dominant Woman” by moving on from being a pro-domme to a "highly tributed life style domme." Whatever. But why bashing pro-dommes?
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Highly Tributed Lifestyle Domme Part I: Don't Judge |
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Highly Tributed Lifestyle Domme Part II: Women of the Real World |
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Highly Tributed Lifestyle Domme Part III: Disagree with Miss P |
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Highly Tributed Lifestyle Domme Part IV: What was my Personal Legend again? |
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Highly Tributed Lifestyle Domme Part V: 11 Reasons to Visit a Pro-Domme |
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