"If Only I Had Listened To My Wife"

Well, that ain't gonna happen overnight. Being my wife, I mean. Every woman I meet these days has a full latex wardrobe, obviously. You have to bring something else to the table, something special that makes me sit up and listen. Until lightning strikes again, I read books, boring books. Books in Dutch. Stories about businesses that go bankrupt for instance.

James Bond is a Woman

Why do Bond villains care more about insanely complex torture scenes than conquering the world so they can blow it up?

Daniel Craig, Naomie Harris and Lashana Lynch (image: The Guardian)

Pardon my English, but have you ever wondered if the seventh Bond is also the realest (apologies) 007? Seems to good to be a coincidence.

Kim Philby is perhaps the most revered spy ever. That is, if you consider him a craftsman rather than a traitor. Philby was a British intelligence officer and a double agent for the Soviet Union. Recruited by the Soviets in 1940, he quickly rose through the ranks of MI6. During the Second World War, one of the young blades of British intelligence who rubbed shoulders with Philby was a junior officer in the Naval Intelligence Department, named Ian Fleming. Mr. Fleming would later become famous as the author of James Bond.

Twist 'n' Shout - Toilet Paper Edition

Public service announcement from the country that brought you Yapoo, the human furniture. 

When mistress' best use for you as her slave is that of a human toilet paper holder, you either need to upgrade your slave skills or your mistress.

Whether you like it or not, the 50/50 happiness rule also applies to femdom even if you pride yourself on being the most submissive creature on the planet. In the end, your suffering and devotion must have positive meaning.

Enter the realm of boredom. Mistress may love it to dress you up as a prop and discard you, but if your only thought - even with nipple clamps on - is one of boredom, the game is up.

Suffering, submission, selflessness and devotion are all emotions that can bring about happiness, one way or another. Boredom is the absence and opposite of emotion, positive or negative. The only lesson it teaches you is to move on sooner next time.

Don't ask me about the difference between boredom and bondage, it's a question I cannot answer. The best I can do is to explain that to me boredom equals loneliness while bondage symbolizes two people, mistress and slave both surrendering part of who they are in a most complicated manner. If all of this confuses you, no worries, it's cocktails by the beach time for uncollared slaves like me. Loving it.

It's just that today's image resonates with me for two reasons. Those few precious seconds every single day when you are allowed to serve must hurt like hell. Usually that's part of the plan. It's also boring as hell, something even the femdom police frowns upon. Time to up your game.

Chess and Femdom. Free Irony Included

these days I prefer the game of go.

In chess it is the woman who wears the crown, or in this case lipstick.

Apparently I have a Flickr account and last week somebody subscribed to my "feed." Thank you, I guess. It reminded me of the good old days on Tumblr where people like you and me shared chess images of the queen. Only we understood what that images stood for. In case you're not a chess player, the queen is the most powerful piece. On the other hand the king is the most important one. The goal of chess is to capture the king.

Juicy Kink - As in Creative

In 2016, The New York Times wrote a beautiful profile about Mollena Williams-Haas and Friedrich Haas, a kinky couple open about their preferences.

Unknowingly the main image is non-conventional, at least according to the BDSM police.
(image: The New York Times)

All kinky, part of the time - and nobody will ever find out. Wouldn't it be great to live my life, kinky and all, out in the open? Bad idea for most of us. Too many lives have been destroyed once the "respectable ones" found out so I keep my mouth shut.

Left-leaning and liberal, or perhaps circulation numbers, is the reason the New York Times features stories at regular intervals about BDSM. One of my all-time favourites is the article about a female submissive and her male dom falling in love. And no, it's not because I'm a sucker for love. 

Why Dutch Slaves Know Best

Extra, extra, read all about it!

"Please, tell me more!"

My various posts discussing kink on TV may have tricked you into believing I'm exempted from cleaning HER dungeon with a toothbrush. Don't worry, it's more of a big picture thing, closely aligned with my rather unique #NeverNormal spider senses.

By now, you've figured out we do things differently over here in Flatland. From personal experience I know there is a small, select group of foreign dommes who prefer to look for exquisite premium slaves in Holland. In case you're wondering, don't. Eleven out of 11 dutch dommes agree: screw the tulips jaba jaba etjabara.

End Of The Line For A Series Of Bad Choices?

A fascinating dynamic, that's for sure.
 

What if the husband is the man standing and he hired the other man to grovel for him?
From the Simpsons season 19, episode 48:
Burns: Look what you've reduced me to.
(Snaps fingers).
Smithers: Please!

Curious is my middle name. The photo above featured frequently in my Tumblr feed. Most people into femdom said it was hot. Real life misery never is.

According to Reddit, the caption reads: "a man begging for his wife's forgiveness inside Divorce Court. Chicago, 1948." Nobody really knows what's going on, but given the year it probably was the conclusion to years of suffering.

Fifty Shades of NIMBY

A feud between neighbours, with a twist. 

Remember the story of mistress Evilyne a couple of years ago and how she was forced to shut down her dungeon because the neighbours objected? The New York Times has a similar tale about Ms. Taillor and her 'kink collective'. Both stories feature neighbours scared of BDSM freaks running around the neighbourhood. Like I always say: "Fifty Shades of Acceptance? Never!

Hey, it's still the Grey Lady, image found on Ms. Taillor's website.

Ms. Miller, a longtime Brooklyn resident doesn't like having a "kink collective" next door. It's all about "trust and safety" and "questionable people" that made her Spidey senses tingle. How's that for kink-shaming? [1]

Cartoonish instincts are not enough to get those around her to act so she quotes anonymous neighbours after which she no doubt felt the obligation to act. "When she asked around, neighbors told her that Ms. Taillor [the dominatrix] was up to no good."

“Unless you have a kid in a cage, I don’t care.”

A woman who works as a cable tech- and the editor highlighting a single anecdote, that of a guy in a cage.

"Oh my, why did the Huffpost editor decide to pick this particular story for an illustration?"

Just a quick one today, one that proves my theory of "never normal" when it comes to vanilla people accepting kink. It ain't ever gonna happen.

Freaks sell, that wisdom is older than the invention of Gutenberg's printing press, ca 1439. Printing itself by then already existed for hundreds of years, just to remind you.

Lift Him Higher - What an Image

Mistress and Slave in Perfect Harmony - Free Minor Flaws Included.

A woman holding the head of her slave in the palm of her hands. One of the strongest femdom pictures I've seen in a long time.

People, not props are kink's secret super power. Q.E.D.

In another realm it could easily be a woman lifting high the head of the man she loves. Perhaps the image was taking, seconds after he tied her shoelaces. This picture, however, leaves no doubt. It's all about mistress and slave. And boy, are they happy. You can tell even without their faces. Found this image on Tumblr in it's dying days and my fascination for it is on full repeat.

It's one of the most powerful femdom images I've come across in quite a while. Despite that I cannot explain exactly why or what. The picture suggests some deep, intimate connection that allow mistress and slave to drift away from mainstream conventions. Then again, who cares? Connection between lovers is perhaps the biggest prizes in life, any which way.

What Tumblr Taught Me

 

Now that Tumblr has officially assumed the title "Titanic of social media", Twitter vainly celebrates and I write a personal eulogy.

If there is a single lesson the be learned it is this: everybody - no exception - prefers pictures over text, most of them being of an erotic nature. Disclaimer: one person's erotic appeals can very well be another one's turn of. Still 'erotic' is a broad term.