Blue Birthday

11+11+'22 = 44!

Today is the day!

Bust of Her Royal Highness Noor Inayat Khan near the British Museum in Central London (image: Noor Inayat Khan Memorial Trust)

Twitter is sort of an LBO, leveraged buy-out, meaning Elon Musk pays much less than 44 billion. The majority is a loan force-fed onto Twitter. Yes, that's right. Elon Musk buys the company with Twitter's own money. The little blue bird is now looking at an interest bill of about one billion annually, which it cannot sustain for long. There are going to be savings, cuts and raids - finraids. If Twitter has a pension fund and Musk smart lawyers, they're gonna bleed it dry. And that's just one example. Welcome to vampire capitalism 101.

By now you understand how vital it is that Elon Musk hands over those 44 billion. For all mankind! Such money is better spent by capable, caring slaves such as Dutch. Especially on my other birthday. Today is 11-11 and it's time to celebrate. And yes, I do have a plan on how to distribute that money and make the world a better place. Back to Boxing Day 2018, when I was still First World poor:

"It's one of those days I wish I was rich like Bill Gates. My billions would guarantee that Noor Inayat Khan is remembered on the new £50 note and that would just be the beginning. It also shows you how very much non-billionaire I am. With that amount of money one should be much more ambitious."

During Covid-19 one of my neighbours died. She asked me to take care of things. Husband died the year before. In the house I not only found a leaflet on domestic violence, which, sadly, made sense. There also was a Dinky Toy Tardis, dating back to the 1960s.

Doctor Who is a television series about an omnipotent being fighting evil with scant regard to her own life. Among her most feared adversaries are the Daleks, a life form so evolved [their words] they're literally cast into some kind of inescapable robot armour. Also their nose is replaced by a gun. Space Nazi's, that's what the Daleks are.

Everybody understands why I write about Doctor Who, no need to repeat myself. Put the tiny Tardis on my desk, not that I need something to remind me. But it's stronger than me. Happens to the best. A Tardis is an old-fashioned, blue phone box. Her Royal Highness Noor Inayat Khan was a British spy princess during WWII. Working as a wireless operator behind enemy lines, it was Her love of the colour blue that betrayed Her to the enemy.

“It’s never been used or published. I learned from it that, in the autumn of 1943, with the Gestapo closing in on Her, they do everything they can to save Her. They take Her to a hair salon and get Her a whole new wardrobe – except that everything She’s chosen is blue, just like before, and the Gestapo knows that Noor’s really fond of blue. That was a key factor that helped give Her away. They had an idea of what She looked like physically, but blue was the radar that they picked up on.”

- Pierre Viénot [fellow resistance fighter, in his private memoir to his family]

Doctor Who's space ship resembles a blue phone booth. Obviously it's much bigger on the inside. Looking at the Dinky Toy on my desk, I've reached the inevitable conclusion, no matter how spacious, with one Wonderful Girl and One Unbreakable Spy Princess [I also have excellent alpha male capitalization skills], this Tardis is at full capacity. And that's already more than most men can handle. Sometimes even a top-of-the-pyramid twue alpha male like Dutch struggles.

As soon as I realized Elon Musk will burden me with 44 billion any day now, I started prepping. Noblesse oblige. Capax Infiniti [capable of the infinite] is the first thing that comes to mind. And no, this is not about me. Of course not. Why should it?

By chance I stumbled upon Her Royal Highness Noor Inayat Khan. Impressive beyond belief. It's a bit like love at first sight, only different. Both hit you right between the eyes. The reason I wrote about Her is because I had too. The other day I joked how size doesn't matter. It doesn't. It's all about the fight in the dog, not the dog in the fight. I prefer you don't, but if you really wanna drag this into the realm of femdom, some advice. Look at who she is, not what she looks like. But in all honesty, I just don't care. If my writing introduces Her Royal Highness to even a single person. I should've done a better job.

That was then, this is now. With 44 billion burning a hole in my pocket, I've gotten more ambitious. Dutch is on a mission. Each and every dungeon in the world should remember Noor Inayat Khan, even if it's only a copy of her children's book lurking on a shelf in the back, Her Royal Highness Noor Inayat Khan wrote before 'Madeleine' was dropped in occupied France. A Tardungeon won't do. So I sent out my fixers to create some magic and make it happen. 44 Billion does that. Nope, smarter than me, they explained how we're all free to choose because of the sacrifices Noor and many others made. Hey, I tried. 

Because someone or something is beautiful, it doesn't mean you can make other people see it. With my 44 billion intact, I went to see my doctor instead.

"I know I'm [pretty] awesome. You know it too. I can see it in your eyes. But what the world needs now is more of awesome ME [Dutch]. For all humankind! Right now I've got 44 billion in MY pocket. What does it take to make ME an even better alpha male?"

"Cyberman or Dalek?" she snaps back.

Previous

Next