About that 11th item to always tell your real estate agent about
Remember Stranger Things? Clearly the Upside Down comes in many flavours. Classy 'n' pervy? Welcome to Sex Oasis 2.0
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| Sometimes there's no downside at all. Obviously. |
Don't care about realtor confessions one to 10. What matters is the final one. Number 11 on the list. Ha ha ha. Does the property come with a 'naughty' 50 Shades kind of sex dungeon? [1]
Despite the fact I'm living on the 11th floor of the Elfland building somewhere in Dutcherdam (xxx), the answer is a resounding 'yes Ma'am.' What else can I say?
Excellent story from 2019, where a couple from Philadelphia put their mansion on the market. Most estate agents would try to obscure the fact that it comes with a fully equiped sex dungeon in the basement. In the USA that is. In the Netherlands nobody would care. 'That looks like the perfect spot for your mancave sweety.' In the end it's just fixtures and fittings. Luckily realtor Melissa Leonard spotted the opportunity to create a bit of buzz and added some dungeon pictures to the house's listing. Even CNN reported on '“Fifty Shades of Grey” in Maple Glen'. Smart real estate agent, smart couple and in the end? It's now listed on AirBnB for those who enjoy the 'naughty' life.
Before Covid-19 that is. If you're not a skilled DIY dungeon builder like Dutch is, just remember BDSM furniture made out of wood needs to be lubricated with actual slave tears at least every other month. It's either that or watching your precious solid oak dungeon equipment crumbling to pieces. Or so they say. Just asking for a friend.
In case you're wondering why this suburban subdivision of the Dark Side has
walls so white it hurts your eyes, I don't know either. As for the knight in
rusty armour standing guard in one of them few dark corners, nobody knows why.
It is definitely not Rory [it's been a while since my last Doctor Who insider
joke] but it's overkill for sure. In case you're wondering, ask your licensed
realtor for professional advice. Full body chastity or not, that's the
question.You know the answer.
Take a moment and look at the second set of images, kind of upside up. So much lost opportunity. Guess that's what happens when kinky people view the world in a single dominant colour only. [2] See first set of images. Also: hello OWK. Are you guys doing OK? Thought so. Just so you know. You guys only have yourself to blame, don't you agree?
I'll leave you with a word from our sponsors:
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Originally recorded in 1979, today's inspirational track is 'House For Sale' by the Margriet Eshuijs Band, How much more Dutchland can it get? Listen to the lyrics, they're absolutely heartbreaking. If you haven't been there, your arrival has already been scheduled. It is what it is, so better make lots of happy memories. Apart from love, what else is the point of being alive and kicking?
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[1] Fifty Shades will haunt 'our community' for generations to come.
[2] Nothing personal, dear proprietors. More kind of the theme of a life time by someone living the 'good' life. Those cool white walls. Saw an opening and went for it. Seriously.
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