Monday, January 18, 2016

Not Big On Begging (Dommes)

Beneficium accipere libertatem est vendere

It does not matter whether a woman dresses up her need for stuff in a nice post or begs for it outright. For some reason, it makes their “natural” dominance hard to swallow.


Prêt-à-porter is so 2015. Time to move on to haute couture girl.

Yes, a woman who receives a prezzy from the man who loves her, that is nice. I’m guilty too and can only hope my guilt increases exponentially over time. But to brag about your dominance, while at the same time beg your devotees. Now there is something wrong with that for me.

More and more women, who enjoy playing the dominant role in femdom games, beg for stuff. The most outlandish ones emphasize the need for slaves to serve with their wallets exclusively. Not only does that attitude make you wonder about the very nature of servitude. It also ask the question whether dominance comes naturally or can be bought whenever the price is right.

Some wonder what to get – a completely unfamiliar – mistress for her birthday. That unfamiliarity only relates to the devotee, not the intended recipient. Others write about how they have lost weight and need new clothes. Is there any difference?

Once again, we men need only three things. A place to sleep, a stomach that needs to be filled and the woman we wrap our arms around at night. It does not matter one bit if the woman you love is your mistress or someone the exact opposite of a domme. Love is love. Just like greed & grab is... everything that corrupts femdom.

So when I read a blog entry for the umptieth time about some woman wondering “who will be the lucky slave?”, it makes me sad. I also wonder when Lady Luck agreed to being auctioned of to the fattest wallet.


No escape from reality
Not only does findom highlight the difference between men and women, it also emphasizes the fact we live in a male dominated society. Some of the most phenomenal women I’ve met, go out there and make a living. Those are the only ones where woman equals mistress. If a man buys her a present, big or small, it is a token of appreciation/love/devotion/hers/gratitude/admiration/rest of dictionary.
When a woman opts to beg for prezzies instead, it reduces her to... Ain’t really much left, is there now? Still, good question.

One of the most fundamental truths about men is that we fall in love and buy presents for women who impress us, not to impress them. That is the natural order of things. Women who humiliate themselves – and their natural dominance – by begging, well I guess there is a special word for it in English. Good thing then my native tongue is Dutch.

More and more I am getting convinced part of the whole Domme Deficit/Sub Surplus is about men being disappointed in wannabe dominant women. Of course it is our own fault, we should not be looking for a strong woman. Strength is not defined by how much money you have, yet some women seem to think so. Or better, how much they can grab of it before the music ends.

Such behaviour has turned femdom into a charade. Something inexplicably beautiful is reduced into “Grab the pig and make him pay for college” [1] by the first desperate women that comes along. Somehow I cannot believe that was the plan.

Once again, let me emphasize. We men love you women. It is the sole reason for our existence. Nothing else matters. That does not mean we substitute greed for beauty. We do understand that fun has a price. After which we move on. Looking for something beyond the reach of a pricetag.


Priceless
So if you are a strong, confident – dominant – woman, why humiliate and beg? You know very well everything we own is yours from day one. There are [probably] a few exceptions, but most men don’t care for luxury. A bed, some food and you. If we have to choose we skip the food for more of you. Nothing else really matters. Women know that very well. It starts the day they enter puberty and discover [their hold on] men. Why humiliate yourself and give up your strength for a pair of shoes, some clothes or an Amazon gift card (USD 25 minimum)? Is dominance an illusion after all or is it desire and devotion an experience that can be bought. [2]

Or is it perhaps one big cosmic joke to separate the wheat from the chaff. And no, despite being Dutch – something that does not count in my favour, I agree – we men are not cheap. We love you and want more than a quick fix. Or the illusion that twue submission can be bought. We allready know that. Still I believe the truth is out there.

Entertain me and you can have some of my money. Impress me and I am all yours. I’ll even sign that blanc piece of paper. Sad, so sad. Perhaps E.L. James was right. Only men with a bank account of over 50 billion get what they want. A women who serves their needs for a fistfull of dollars. Pecunia causa.
I know from personal experience that cannot be true. But holding on to reality gets more difficult every single day. Yes we men know there is an entrance fee to the mile high club, or whatever it is called. What we didn’t know it was such a bargain these days.

The average guy knows a lot of women. Simply just because. None of those vanilla women would ever dream of accepting gifts from a man outside some sort of personal relationship. Most would creep out if random strangers started sending them gifts over the internet. Yet once you’ve reached peak domme, some develop a grab whatever you can attitude.

I once quipped about the findom surplus. Looking at the bigger picture, I wonder how can there a be a sub surplus at all? Still, it is sad. It reduces something beautiful – strength, courage, the power of personality – to an experience that can be bought if the price is right. So was there ever dominance to begin with?

And for the last time: once we are yours, everything we own is. Past, present and future. It is called reverse inequality. And before that? We spend everything we own to reach the next phase.


Notes

  1. Paying for someone’s education is probably the best thing your money can buy her. For more than one reason.
  2. Affluence adds to your overal experience. Individual experience may vary but won’t last.

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