Thursday, August 03, 2023

Again: Why Are Pro-dommes So Expensive?

You'd do the same

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Dutch has a gig across the border. Air BnB with extra's. But not the usual complementary fruit bowl. Lovely stay even though it drained me.

Continued from 'Why Are Pro-DJ's So Expensive?'

So DJ's make a lot of money, some at least. Someone told me these days a three hour gig goes for around 350 euros. That's before expenses, taxes and agency fees if the dj is booked through one. Many also work for free. A mistake, they hope it will get them the name recognition they so crave. Perhaps, but you cannot beat free on price and at the lowest rung you're easily replaced. No more posting cool hot dj pics to your Insta. Quelle horreur. Scary future ahead indeed. It's also why most clubs go under.

Say you are succesful and earn thousands for a single night or just a few hours. Only a handful make it that far by the way. What most people forget is that it's a talent, a skill to deliver day in, day out and never get boring. Imagine a large club filled to the max with 3.000 party people. Some I know but most I've never seen. Still the show must go on. 'This is going to be the best night of my life.' Funny, it's the same thing they said last week. Music suddenly turns to silence, the real thing as in complete and utter silence. A bit of discomfort on the floor at first. Then the shock sets in. Disbelieve. WHAAAT? The silence doesn't stop. Who is that fool? Get him out. Booh! Bah! Once I did that for close to 30 seconds. Trust me, the stress is building up inside is insane. But if this works the way I think it's going to, this night is going to be the best night of our lives. They're ready now. I was born that way. Time for take-off. Superb sound system, bass deep and dark. All you can do is feel. Floor starts to drift, floating into space. People are lost, happily so. We've arrived. More. Smiles growing bigger and bigger...  Coming from the deep, it takes the bass a while but it finally catches up. Now you can actually hear it. Not that there's a point in that. "I think I know this track but I'm sure I like it whatever it is or will turn out to be." As the bass builds up bigger, better and beyond, I see its first casualties. People drowning in a sea of sound. Doesn't stop there. One wave after another, the bass engulfs the dance floor, nobody escapes their choosen destiny. Then it goes on to swallow the entire venue with everyone and everything in it. Our guests finally realize, this truly is going to be a night unlike any other. It's of this planet, even for those who don't do drugs. Time to intervene. Attack! Piericing high tones, so harsh we're about to cross the threshold between pleasure and pain. Classic. Last remaining barriers crumble as the track has grown to it's max and everybody goes home. Of course that's many hours later. Time flies when you're having fun.

Not my first rodeo but 30 seconds of silence was an insane risk, even by my standards. Worked like charm, bar sales straight through the roof.

"When are you available next time?"
"Fully booked. Anyway, this was a one time gig for me, filling in for a friend. My usual rate is rather different."
"No worries, we'll work it out.
Wanna have a drink, now let me introduce you to the ladies working at the bar tonight."

[Notice how the club owner doesn't skip a beat after hearing just how expensive I am and offering me a drink. He's the real pro.]

Thats how it works. When you hire a professional, you get results. Problem is always whose zodiac is wheat and whose is chaff? As a DJ you get paid for several things apart from the music. These day first of all it's name and fame. Used to be less important. Secondly you pay for someone's talent and skill - AKA a dj who delivers. Third you pay a professional because she or he is a professional, meaning you're on time, handle the crew [video jocks, light crew, rappers, sax player, the lot] and come prepared, understanding you're hired to create magic.

Anyway, I started out long ago at five euros an hour. Never cared, I love music. You know what I did with that little hard-earned cash? No, not visiting a pro-domme, why are they so expensive anyway? I bought records. The amount of time I spent on music is impossible to calculate. And you know what? Decades later people still approach me if I'm interested in deejaying at their old-skool party. How much? No, no, the exposure is good for you. Will land you bigger, better paying gigs in the future. Like when I'm 111 years old? Anyway have you any idea how expensive pro-dommes are these days? Don't worry, it was just a thought that occured to me. So why are they? It's not that they have to spend money on records or something. All you need is a whip and a pair of leather pants, be awesome and I start drooling. So why?


Face the music

Talking about bass, urban myth has it that this 1988 acid house track blew up a lot of sound systems back then: Baby Ford - Oochy Koochy

[Click to listen]

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People are shouting victory now that Ukraine has gone on the counter offensive but what does it mean and is it really that important. In my opinion it's more about newspapers bringing you a story you want to read so they can sell more adds that proper journalism. A few inroads here and there is all it is. "Putin is looking for a bigger war, not an off-ramp, in Ukraine. New mobilisation law is part of a wider effort to maximise Russia’s firepower and blunt western support for Kyiv" writes Alexander Gabuev, director of Carnegie Russia Eurasia Center in Berlin, in the Financial Times.


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