Memories Are Bullets

On Valentine’s Day I wrote about my friend who loves to travel to shitholes. If he knew I'm into femdom, he would roll his eyes in disbelief. Kinda silly, his travel destinations make him a masochist too, albeit with slightly different cravings. Not that he sees it that way.

Before The Throne Of Beauty

Before he left for Afghanistan he wrote two letters. In one of them he quoted Kill the Dead by Richard Kadrey

“Memories are bullets.
Some whiz by and only spook you.
Others tear you open and leave you in pieces.”

Prince: "Women Not Girls Rule My World"

When it comes to the colour of my dreams - it's Nina Simone. Prince died on April 21st, 2016. After I heard he passed away, my subconscious made an exception for the next few nights [1]. Rightly so. A late obituary, with a whiff of femdom.

"... not your lover. Not your friend. Something that you'll never comprehend."

On more than one occassion, usually one or two days after I visited some club in Amsterdam, I read in the papers how Prince paid a surprise visit. Ofteny he performed live on stage. It is the one thing I don’t like about Prince: him and me were out of sync, which is forever my loss.

Christian Domestic Discipline

Sexual submission meets erotic submission for a fraction of religious couples practicing Christian Domestic Discipline. Husband punishes wife only of course.

(Image: Aeon article)

Last year I watched a documentary called “Leader in the household” I neither will nor can ever agree to the notion of the man being the leader in the household. Both Vanilla Dutch and Dark Dutch are laughing at the very concept. My most fundamental premise is that we are all equal, no exception. That doesn’t mean some prefer califlower over icecream [their loss] or have spicier preferences.

The notion that religious people can rescue their relationship by putting the man in charge of all decisions, made me feel sad. It is a far cry from why two people should be together: balance and harmony, kindred spirits and a well-rounded notion of give and take, preferably one that takes into account the strengths and weakness of both lovers.

Highly Tributed Lifestyle Domme Part II - Women of the Real World

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Highly Tributed Lifestyle Domme Part I - Don't Judge

Tell me what is worse. A man who doesn’t stand up for the ones he loves or a dominant woman whose desperate desires makes her say nasty things about other [dominant] woman. Enter the “highly tributed lifestyle domme”. One more reason  why the future of femdom is bleak.

We all have life without parole. Not that I mind.
Just don't let your desires get the best of you.

Last year I read Miss Pearl’s 2013 blog post on why she makes a big deal about not being a pro femdomme. Other than being baffled why people believe pro-dommes and lifestyle are “similar", I don't like the article for two reasons. First the author consistently compares pro-dommes to something “inferior.” Secondly – and this is what really rattled my cage – one of the commenters explains how she felt more in touch with her inner “Dominant Woman” by moving on from being a pro-domme to a "highly tributed life style domme." Whatever. But why bashing pro-dommes?

Don't judge!

Respect people’s choices rather than judge them. It is a fundamental quality I look for in others. It shows tenacity, maturity, life experience and a kind heart – and yes that makes you a better domme as well. Honesty is all about strength. It demands considerable courage to tell the truth. Unfortunately certain players lack that quality. Dutch has never shied away from a good catfight, but when it comes to pjure-and-riel-lifestyle-only dommes dissing pro-dommes, it gets ugly.

A True Rebel Drinks Champagne

Earlier this week I wrote about a minivan cruising the streets and picking up slaves. Fact or fiction, it does not matter. It is a good illustration of just how crazy kink can be. Not that you hear me complain. In the words of Dutch painter Vincent van Gogh: “Normality is a paved road. It’s comfortable to walk, but no flowers grow.

The creative act is a letting down of the net of human imagination
into the ocean of chaos on which we are suspended,
and the attempt to bring out of it ideas.
― Terence McKenna

The Yapoo movies where I got the idea from are full of stuff that is not average. When it comes to kink I am curious about a lot of things. In a world increasingly governed by corporations that tell us the one twue path to happiness is to consume more and more [usually of the same] my kink feels like a guilty pleasure. It certainly is something they disapprove of. Corporate responsibility for the world we live in and so on. Note how big business is buying up land to legally grow marijuana.

11 Signs Your Girlfriend is a Dominatrix

Yesterday I wrote about Britain’s Culture Secretary who upon discovering – after many months – that the woman he dated, worked as a dominatrix, ditched her instantly. Or so he says. You have to be pretty daft not to know what your girlfriend does for a living. Hard to believe, but politics is all about plausible deniability. Here are 11 clues you can choose to plausible deny. We thank John Whittingdale for sharing these insights with us. He even graciously commented upon them.

1.   "The first time I stayed at her place, I wondered what those things in the dishwasher were. Never seen them before. I’ve given the matter considerable thought and decided it had to be an art project of some sort. This image is also what motivated me to become Culture Secretary. It just felt right. And no I did not ask her about it. Yes hindsight is always 20/20."

The Clueless Politician and the Dominatrix

"What are you willing to give me if I deliver him over to you?" So they counted out for him thirty pieces of silver. 
- Matthew 26:15

Guess that is how much a cabinet post goes for these days. Last night I watched a segment on Newsnight – the BBC’s current affairs program - about John Wittingdale, Britain’s Culture Secretary. He admitted he had been in a relationship with a sex worker - more specifically a dominatrix.

“He did not know about the woman's occupation when they were together” Now really? Of course “he ended the relationship as soon as he was made aware of her job.”

How could I know "that woman" [is way too cool for me?]
She didn't like Fifty Shades. How could I tell?

Yapoo's Slave Taxi - One Way Only

Imagine a minivan cruising the streets to pick up slaves. Of course mistress sits in the front and the slave is chained in the back. Wouldn't that be wonderful?

Make yourself comfortable boi. The real fun is only later
(Screenshot: Yapoo market venus semi documentary YMVD 006)

What I love about kink is that it is weird, wicked and daft. It doesn’t make any sense at all, yet it also is a neverending source of happiness and joy. The contradiction between the first two sentences shows just how much I enjoy the contrasts that come with femdom.

Don't Diss Dommes Who Dress Up

Who needs a dress when you can walk with fire? It’s not about looks, but what her eyes tell you. Don’t fret about the uniform.

The only leather is the belt she is holding.
Judging from the look in her eyes that is more leather than I can handle.

Life is 99 percent opinion and 1 percent fact. Femdom is 100 percent preference. One of the most hotly debated topics in kink is the domme dress. Leather or lace, how about your everyday wear? Real dommes do.... bla bla bla whatever.

Domme School and the Art of Humiliation

A few days ago I wrote about a woman, unlucky in love, who attended a class on “dominatrix training” Dominance and sadism both contain physical and mental elements. Part of the latter is a penchant most mistresses have for humiliation. As usual, I don't

Guidance is priceless, especially if you don't want to be there (Image Yapoo's Market 58, YMD-58)

Consciously or otherwise we all have a list of rules when it comes to kink. For me, one of them is not to impose my preferences upon others who do not appreciate what the dark side has to offer. That means public play is out of the question. Why shock people with what they cannot possibly understand? Ask for other people’s acceptance also means accepting their preferences. Another big no concerns privacy. I’m curious about a lot of things but I do not want kinky fun to spill over – negatively – into the rest of my life. Both rules are part of why I shy away from humiliation. I honestly do not know what I feel about the whole thing anyway. Sweet and sour at the same time – as in the majority of my kink – most likely.